Verizon iPhone Announcement

  • Aired:  01/11/11
  •  | Views: 592,321

John Oliver witnesses an outpouring of emotion in the streets as Verizon gives the iPhone community the freedom to switch providers. (7:18)

HE WILL BE MISSED.

FOLKS, YOU MAY HAVE NOTICED A

CERTAIN SOMETHING ABOUT ME

TONIGHT.

A SPRING IN MY STEP, A CERTAIN

TWINKLE IN LET'S GO WITH MY

PANTS.

[LAUGHTER]

HERE IS WHY: I HAVE NO PROBLEMS

SAYING TO YOU WHAT I'VE BEEN

SUFFERING WITH.

FOR THE PAST THREE OR FOUR YEARS

, THOSE OF US IN THE

IPHONE COMMUNITY HAVE

SACRIFICED ONE THING FOR THE

ABILITY TO CARRY AROUND EVERY

PHOTOGRAPH WE'VE EVER TAKEN OR

SONG WE'VE LISTENED TO OR HOME

VIDEO OR COMPASS.

WE'VE SACRIFICED THE ABILITY TO

MAKE PHONECALLS.

[LAUGHTER]

FOR YEARS -- FOR YEARS -- FOR

YEARS STRUGGLING WITH THE

WORLD'S MOST POPULAR ALMOST

PHONE.

[LAUGHTER]

WELL, OUR LONG NATIONAL MIGHT

MAYOR -- NIGHTMARE MAY SOON BE

OVER.

>> TODAY WE'RE EXTREMELY

GREATIFIED, AND I CAN'T THINK OF

A BETTER WORD, TO ANNOUNCE THAT

EARLY NEXT MONTH THE iPHONE 4

BE PART OF THE GRIT VERIZON

PORTFOLIO OF PRODUCTS.

>> Jon: FREEDOM!

FREEDOM!

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

[LAUGHTER]

FREEDOM ACTUALLY TO SWITCH

PROVIDERS.

REALLY NOTHING MORE THAN THAT.

HOW BAD HAS IT BEEN?

FOR THE PAST FEW YEARS I'VE

ACTUALLY HAD TO CARRY NOT ONLY

MY iPHONE BUT A SECOND

PHONE --

[LAUGHTER]

-- THAT I WOULD USE AS A

PHONE --

[LAUGHTER]

-- OBVIOUSLY THERE WERE SOME

DRAWBACKS TO THIS PHONE.

FIRST OF ALL, MY FOUR-YEAR-OLD

DAUGHTER WOULD LIKE IT BACK.

[LAUGHTER]

AND WHILE THE RECEPTION IS

CRYSTAL CLEAR IT ONLY ALLOWS YOU

TO CALL UNIFORMS AND CARRIES.

[LAUGHTER]

DOCTOR UNICORNS AND FAIRIES.

[LAUGHTER]

IT'S A LITTLE BULKY.

THIS IS HOW BAD IT'S BEEN.

THIS IS HOW I'VE HAD TO SEND

TEXT MESSAGES.

HERE IS WHAT I WOULD DO.

TO LET'S SAY STEPHEN COLBERT.

GREAT SHOW LAST NIGHT, URDA-MAN.

THEN I PUT LIKE AN EMOTICON

INDICATING AMUSEMENT AS WELL AS

AFFECTION.

XXOO.

AND NOW I'M READY TO SEND MY

TEXT MESSAGE.

BOY!

[LAUGHTER]

>> ANOTHER TEXT MESSAGE, MR. S.

>> Jon: THAT'S RIGHT.

BRING THIS PHONE TO MR. STEPHEN

COLBERT AS FAST AS YOUR LEGS

WILL CARRY YOU.

AS FAST AS YOUR LEGS WILL CARRY

YOU, BOY!

>> BUT, SIR, MY POLIO.

MR. COLBERT RESIDES AT THE TOP

OF A TALL MOUNTAIN WITH FEW

FOOTHOLES AND THERE'S A BLIZZARD

COMING.

>> Jon: THEN YOU BEST HURRY

BOY.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

WHICH REMINDS ME, AND NOW TO

TEXT MOTHER.

YOU SEE?

TEXTING IS COSTING ME A FOR THE

FORTUNE.

EACH TEXT COSTS ME $400 NOT TO

AMONGST POURAGE FOR MY RUNNER.

WE TURN NOW LIVE TO JOL JOHN

OLIVER AT THE SITE OF TODAY'S

VERIZON ANNOUNCEMENT.

JOHN, TELL US -- WHAT -- WHAT

IS --

[LAUGHTER]

WHAT DOES THE SCENE LOOK LIKE

DOWN THERE?

>> I'VE GOT TO TELL YOU, JON.

IT'S [BREAKING UP] FANTASTIC

OCCASION.

>> Jon: JOHN, WHY IS THERE A

DELAY?

YOU ARE IN COLUMBUS CIRCLE?

IT'S FIVE BLOCKS AWAY.

>> I'M TRANSMITTING FROM MY

IPHONE.

I HAVEN'T SWITCHED OVER

CONTRACTS YET.

>> Jon: YOU GOOD AND I'LL --

>> YOU GO.

YOU SPEAK --

>> Jon: IN THE DELAY I'M -- I

HEAR --

>> YOU DROPPED OUT.

WHAT IS THAT?

>> Jon: YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT.

>> LET ME SPEAK.

>> Jon: OKAY.

OKAY.

>> I'LL SPEAK.

JON, THIS IS AN INCREDIBLY

EXCITING --

[LAUGHTER]

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

>> Jon: WE SEEM TO HAVE LOST

JOHN OLIVER.

WE LOST JOHN OLIVER.

OKAY.

HE'S BACK.

HE'S BACK.

>> SORRY, JON.

SORRY I'M BACK.

I THINK I MUST HAVE LOOKED AT A

TUNNEL.

[LAUGHTER]

ANYWAY, TODAY, JON, I FILED THIS

REPORT.

>> Jon: GRIT.

>> AMERICA --

>> Jon: GREAT.

>> AMERICA SUFFERED FOR FAR TOO

LONG.

>> I GET NO SERVICE OVER HERE

BUT SOME IN THE DINING ROOM.

>> YOU HAVE TO WALK -- HOW MANY

PACES IS THAT?

>> ABOUT FIVE OR --

>> FIVE OR SIX WHOLE PACES.

>> YES.

>> AND THE VICTIMS WERE TOO MANY

TO COUNT.

>> IT DOES NOT WORK AS A

TELEPHONE.

>> CALLS DROPPED ALL THE TIME.

>> I HATE AT&T.

THEY ARE (bleep).

>> WHAT DOES IT SEEM LIKE LIVING

UNDER THE TYRANNY OF THIS

REGIME.

>> THE SERVICE IS HORRIBLE

ESPECIALLY IN THE CITY.

>> AT&T (bleep) SERVICE.

>> WE'RE TECHNOLOGY HOSTAGE.

>> THAT IS DEFINITELY NOT

OVERSTATING IT.

>> IT'S LIKE BEING A SLAVE.

>> WHY NOT THROW THAT IN THERE

AS WELL?

THE PEOPLE WERE READY TO RISE UP

AGAINST THEIR OPPRESSOR.

RIGHT?

CAN WE HEAR THAT AT&T OR DO WE

NEED TO TURN IT UP LOUDER.

THERE WAS NO TELLING WHEN OR IF

THE LIBERATORS WOULD ARRIVE.

>> THERE ARE KNOWN KNOWNS AND

THINGS WE KNOW.

THERE WE KNOW THERE ARE THINGS

WE DO NOT KNOW.

>> SUDDENLY BEFORE ANYONE KNEW

WHAT HAD HAPPENED THE MOMENT OF

LIBERATION WAS A AT HAND AND I

WAS THERE AS VERIZON'S OWN DAVID

PATREAUS TOOK THE STAGE.

>> EARLY NEXT MONTH THE iPHONE

4 WILL BE PART OF VERIZON

WIRELESS PORT MANOLO OF --

PORTFOLIO OF PRODUCTS.

>> YEAH (bleep).

THANK YOU.

WOO.

>> WITH THAT THERE WAS AN

OUTPOURING OF EMOTION IN THE

STREETS.

>> I'M VERY HAPPY.

I'M VERY HAPPY THAT VERIZON IS

DOING THIS.

>> TAKING A CUE FROM HISTORY

CROWDS EMBRACES THEIR NEW

FREEDOM.

>> DOWN WITH TYRANNY.

>> 1-11-11, A DAY THAT WILL BE

FOREVER AS VZ DAY.

-- FOREVER BE KNOWN AS VD DAY.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

>> THANK YOU.

>> Jon: RIGHT.

>> SO, JON, AS YOU CAN SEE A

VERY EMOTIONAL DAY.

JUBILATION, HOPE.

NOW, IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME I'LL

MOVE SLIGHTLY TO SCRATCH AN

ITCH --

>> Jon: NO!

SUN OF A --

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