Democalypse 2012 - The New New Low Edition

  • Aired:  08/15/12
  •  | Views: 334,060

Joe Biden's gaffe triggers Republican DEFCON Apes**t from prominent pundits like Sarah Palin, who decry the Obama White House's divisive campaign tactics. (5:31)

TO BE A BOWLING BALL.

UM...

(LAUGHTER) NOW, IF YOU BELIEVE IN THE HEAT OF THIS CAMPAIGN SEASON THAT THIS CLEARLY INAPPROPRIATE

STATEMENT FROM THE VICE PRESIDENT IS GOING TO CAUSE A MINOR STIR, YOU HAVE NOT BEEN

PAYING ATTENTION TO THIS CAMPAIGN SEASON.

CUE UP REPUBLICAN DEFCON (BLEEP).

(LAUGHTER)

>> THIS OPERATION IS ONE OF THE MOST HATEFUL, DIVISIVE OPERATIONS THAT WE'VE EVER SEEN

IN THIS COUNTRY.

>> AND BROUGHT THIS CAMPAIGN TO A LOW WE'VE NOT SEEN IN YEARS.

>> WHERE'S THE DECENCY?

I'M A LITTLE SHOCKED.

>> MR. PRESIDENT, TAKE YOUR CAMPAIGN, THE DIVISION AND ANGER AND HATE BACK TO CHICAGO AND LET

US GET ABOUT REBUILDING A UNITED AMERICA.

>> Jon: OKAY, TWO THINGS.

FIRST...

(LAUGHTER) ... AS A GENERAL RULE, I FIND IT HELPS NOT TO FRAME A PLEA FOR

NATIONAL UNITY BY INSULT AGO MAJOR CITY WITHIN THAT NATION.

(LAUGHTER) I'M SAYING, MR. PRESIDENT, WE MUST ALL COME TOGETHER NO MATTER

WHAT THOSE SACKS OF HUE HUMAN FECES FROM THE METROPOLITAN ANUS THAT IS CHICAGO WOULD HAVE US DO.

THEY CAN (BLEEP) MY DEEP DISH (BLEEP).

NO DISRESPECT.

(LAUGHTER) HOW YOU DOING?

AND, SECOND, ARE THE REPUBLICANS IN THE MORAL HIGH GROUND POSITION ON THE ISSUE OF

DIVISIVE ANGER AND HATE VIS-A-VIS THEIR OPPONENT?

LET'S FACE FACTS: CHICAGO DOESN'T EVEN APPEAR TO BE THE ONLY AREA OF AMERICA NOT INVITED

TO THE REPUBLICAN UNITY PARTY.

>> LIBERAL HAVEN THAT IS KNOWN AS NEW YORK STATE.

>> UPPER EAST SIDE.

>> LIBERAL MADISON AVENUE.

>> MASSACHUSETTS.

>> EAST COAST HOLLYWOOD.

>> CALIFORNIA.

>> CHICAGO.

>> MARTHA'S VINEYARD.

>> BERKELEY, WHICH IS A WELL-KNOWN LIBERAL...

>> IT'S A COMMUNIST PLACE.

(AUDIENCE REACTS) (LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE)

>> Jon: YEAH, IT'S A COMMUNIST PLACE.

FIDEL CASTRO'S THE DEAN OF THE SCHOOL.

THEY GOT A GULAG.

I UNDERSTAND THE CAFETERIA HAS A MEAL PLAN.

(LAUGHTER) SO WE KNOW WHAT AREAS OF AMERICA ARE NOT WELCOME IN AMERICA.

WHAT AMERICANS ARE NOT WORTHY OF INCLUSION IN THIS UNIFIED ROMERICA.

>> IVORY TOWER PROFESSORS.

>> UNION THUGS.

>> T MOOCHER CLASS.

>> POOR PEOPLE.

>> RADICAL ENVIRONMENTALISTS.

>> TEACHERS JUST LIKE BARACK OBAMA ARE AGAINST COMPETITION.

(AUDIENCE REACTS)

>> Jon: THESE TEACHERSINGS BELIEVE IN THE REDISTRIBUTION OF INFORMATION INFORMATION.

WOW, I HAD NO IDEA HOW HATEFUL AND DIVISIVE THESE GROUPS YOU ARE DESCRIBING ARE.

IF WE COULD ONLY GET RID OF TEACHERS, LAWYERS, UNIONS AND POOR PEOPLE WE COULD UNITE THE

REMAINING LESS THAN HALF OF THIS COUNTRY.

(LAUGHTER) NOW, OBVIOUSLY SINCE WE'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO GO TO COLLEGE AND BE

AROUND THESE TEACHERS, WHERE CAN I LEARN MORE ABOUT THE LESS DIVISIVE AND ANGRY RHETORIC.

>> UNHINGED EXPOSING LIBERALS GONE WILD.

>> HOW ISLAM AND THE LEFT SABOTAGE AMERICA.

>> HOW THE LEFT SWIFT BOATED AMERICA.

>> LIBERAL MEDIA'S ATTACK ON CHRISTIANITY.

>> DEMONIC HOW THE LIBERAL MOB IS ENDANGERING AMERICA.

>> 48 LIBERAL LIES ABOUT AMERICAN HISTORY.

>> LIBERAL FASCISM.

>> CONTROL FREAKS.

>> THE HOLLYWOOD HACKS,

LIMOUSINE LIBERALS AND PANDERING POLITICIANS WHO ARE DESTROYING AMERICA.

(LAUGHTER)

>> Jon: I MAGIC FIND THESE BOOKS AT MY LOCAL BARNS & AWFUL?

OR PERHAPS YOU'D PREFER SHOPPING AT TOTALLY CLOSED BORDERS?

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) ARE THE REPUBLICANS REALLY THAT BLIND?

YOU KNOW, THE RHETORIC ON ALL SIDES CAN BE HATEFUL SOMETIMES BUT ARE THE REPUBLICANS REALLY

THAT BLIND TO THE DEPTHS OF THEIR OWN VITRIOL?

YOU WON'T BELIEVE HOW BLIND.

BLINDER THAN A MAN JOE BIDEN WOULD PUBLICLY CHALLENGE TO A STARING CONTEST.

(LAUGHTER)

>> NAME ONE PROMINENT REPUBLICAN WHO EVEN COMES CLOSE TO WHAT,

LIKE, THE ALAN GRAYSONS, JOE BIDEN'S, HARRY REIDS SPEW TO THE AMERICAN PUBLIC.

I DIDN'T THINK OF ONE PROMINENT REPUBLICAN WHO TALK IT IS WAY THAT THEY TALK.

(LAUGHTER)

>> Jon: LET ME ASK YOU A QUESTION.

DOES THE LAKE BEHIND YOU HAVE REFLECTIVE PROPERTIES?

(LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE) IF SO, YOU MAY FIND THE ANSWER TO YOUR RIDDLE.

AND IF NOT...

>> OUR OPPONENT IS SOMEONE WHO SEES AMERICA AS IMPERFECT ENOUGH

TO PAL AROUND WITH TERRORISTS.

COME ON, BARACK OBAMA, WHO ARE YOU PALING AROUND WITH NOW?

JAN BREWER THAT HAS COJONES THAT OUR PRESIDENT DOESN'T HAVE.

>> NANCY PELOSI IS A DINGBAT.

>> LEFT WING LIBERAL SOCIALIST WASHINGTON ELITE.

>> THEY'RE LIKE DEAD FISH.

>> THEIR RADICAL LEFT AGENDA.

>> ALL THAT SMOKING AND THAT COCAINE SNORTING AND WHAT HE ATE FIDO.

(AUDIENCE REACTS)

>> Jon: SO YOU DON'T KNOW OF ANY PROMINENT REPUBLICANS WHO SPEW DIVISIVE VITRIOL.

THERE CAN ONLY BE TWO EXPLANATIONS FOR THAT: ONE, NOT EVEN SARAH PALIN BELIEVES SHE'S

A PROMINENT REPUBLICAN ANYMORE OR, TWO, SARAH PALIN CAN NO LONGER HEAR HERSELF SPEAK.

YOU CAN READ ABOUT IT IN MY N

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