Runaway Pride

  • Aired:  07/25/11
  •  | Views: 64,316

Samantha Bee and Jason Jones take to the streets of New York City to commemorate the best day of gay newlyweds' lives. (3:50)

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

>> Jon: WELCOME BACK.

YESTERDAY YESTERDAY SAME SEX

MARRIAGE FINALLY BECAME

LEGAL IN THE STATE OF NEW

YORK.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

>> Jon: APPARENTLY OUR

AUDIENCE IS ON THEIR

HONEYMOON.

OUR LEGALLY MARRIED

CORRESPONDENT SAMANTHA BEE

WAS THERE TO REPORT.

>> NEW YORK STREETS WERE

FILLED WITH JOY AND LOVE AS

GAY MARRIAGE BECAME THE LAW

OF THE LAND.

>> NOT EVEN LONG LINES WITH

100 DEGREE WEATHER OR

CREATURES THAT CRAWLED OUT

OF THE DEVIL SYPHALLITC AN

UNS COULD RUIN THIS.

>> AS A COUPLE HAPPILY

MARRIED FOR YEARS WE WENT TO

HEAR THE NEWLY-WED TALES OF

LOVE.

>> THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF

THEIR LIFE.

>> IT SERIOUSLY IS THE BEST

DAY BECAUSE AFTER THIS --

>> WHAT DOES TODAY MEAN TO

YOU GUYS.

>> IT MEANS FREEDOM.

FREEDOM FROM ALL THE-- YOU

KNOW, BACK TALKING,

CRAZINESS THAT HAPPENS,

VALIDATION OF OUR LOVE, OUR

COMMITMENT TO EACH OTHER.

>> IF YOU CAN GET THAT IN A

SHORTER SOUND BITE.

>> MAKE SURE YOU TELL

THEM-- MAKE SURE YOU PUSH

THEM AROUND AND TELL THEM

WHAT TO SAY.

>> MAKE SURE-- NO, NO,

PLEASE, FEEL FREE.

>> EXECUTIVE PRODUCE WHAT IS

GOING ON IN EVERY BRAIN.

>> I KNOW THE CONCEPT OF

HAVING YOUR BALLS IN A VICE

SOUNDS LIKE FUN, BUT WHEN

IT'S MET FOR CALL, IT'S NOT

FUN.

>> OKAY, YES, I KNOW, JAMES

SO, HARD TO BE MARRIED TO ME.

>> WELL, MARRIED COUPLES

HERE.

LET'S JUST THINK OF WORDS

THAT WE ASSOCIATE WITH

MARRIAGE.

>> TOGETHER.

>> FOREVER.

>> MONOGAMY.

>> MONOTONY.

>> LOVE.

(LAUGHTER)

>> OH MY GOSH!

LOVE.

>> WELL, IT MEANS A LOT FOR

US BECAUSE WE'VE BEEN

TOGETHER FOR FIVE YEARS AND

WE REALLY WANTED TO BE HERE

ON THE FIRST DAY.

>> PIECE GET YOUR

MICROPHONE-- I'M TAKING THE

LEAD IN THIS.

>> DO YOU HAVE ENOUGH --

>> I'M TRYING TO WORK ON A

PIECE, OKAY.

>> I REALIZE YOU'RE TRYING

TO WORK ON A PIECE BUT I'M

TRYING TO ALSO RAISE A

FAMILY AT THE SAME TIME AND

WE NEED MILK AND BANANAS.

>> WHEN I PARRIED JASON.

>> I WAS NUTS ABOUT MY WIFE

WHEN I MARRIED HER.

I MARRIED A THOUGHTFUL,

CARING, TRULY WONDERFUL

HUMAN BEING.

>> WE USED TO GO PLACES.

WE USE TO GO OUT TO DINNER.

AND EYE MEAN GOD, NOW, NOW

LOOK AT HIM.

LOOK AT HIM OVER THERE

EATING A HOT DOG.

EATS LIKE A [BLEEP] SEE

GULL.

>> NOW LOOK AT HER.

JOKE MONKEY.

OH, LOOK AT ME, I'M JASON

JONES.

I-- MY UNDERPANTS AND MY

GENITALS.

>> YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT MY

GENITALS.

>> OKAY, WELL MAYBE IF

SOMEONE PAID A LITTLE

ATTENTION TO WHAT WAS GOING

ON DOWN BELOW SOMEONE WOULD

GO DOWN THERE A LITTLE MORE

OFTEN OKAY, IT'S LIKE THE

SLUMS OF CALCUTTA DOWN THERE.

(LAUGHTER)

>> IT HAD TAKEN A LONG TIME

TO GET TO THIS MOMENT SO

WHAT BETTER WAY TO

COMMEMORATE THESE SACRED

UNION THAN WITH A SPECIAL

VOW.

TAKING INTO ACCOUNT.

>> TAKING INTO ACCOUNT.

>> THE INOBSERVATION AREABLE

INERTIA OF OUR RELATIONSHIP.

>> THE INDEX ORABLE INERTIA

IN OUR RELATIONSHIP.

>> IT WOULD BE HARDER TO

BREAK IT OFF THAN TO

CONTINUE AS WE HAVE FOR ALL

THESE YEARS SO I GUESS WE

SHOULD GET MARRIED.

>> I GUESS WE SHOULD GET

MARRIED.

AMEN.

>> AMEN.

>> WHAT LA LIEU LA.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

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