Double-Wide World of Sports

  • Aired:  08/09/12
  •  | Views: 51,246

Jason Jones reports from the 2012 Redneck Blank in Hebron, ME, where champions are crowned for toilet seat horseshoes, pickup truck dressage and wet t-shirt events. (5:19)

>> Jon: WELCOME BACK.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

THE OLYMPIC GAMES -- THE OLYMPIC GAMES IN LONDON HAVE INSPIRED THE WORLD.

THERE'S ANOTHER CONTEST CLOSER TO HOME THAT IS PERHAPS EVEN MORE DESERVING OF OUR ATTENTION.

JASON JONES HAS MORE.

>> HAROLD BROOKS OF HEBRON,

MAINE LOVES THE OLYMPICS SEW DECIDED TO HOST AN ATHLETIC CONTEST IN HIS BACKYARD.

>> BY BRINGING PEOPLE TOGETHER AND HAVE COMPETITIONS IT RELIEVED PEOPLE FROM A DAY TO

DAY STRESMS WE CALLED THE REDNECK OLYMPICS.

>> ONE PROBLEM THE USOC DIDN'T LIKE THE WORD OLYMPICS.

WHY WOULD THEY GIVE A (bleep) ABOUT PEOPLE HAVING FUN IN A FIELD.

>> THEY NEED TO PREVENT CONFUSION.

PEOPLE MIGHT THINK THE RED NECK OLYMPICS IS SOMEHOW ASSOCIATED WITH THE UNITED STATES OLYMPICS.

>> RIGHT PEOPLE WITHOUT A TV OR INTERNET CONNECTION OR EYES OR A BRAIN WOULD DEFINITELY THINK THAT.

>> IT'S POSSIBLE, SURE.

>> WHAT ARE THE RED NECK OLYMPICS SUPPOSED TO DO.

>> CHANGE THEIR NAME FROM OLYMPICS.

>> TO WHAT?

>> RED NECK GAMES.

>> IT'S TAKEN.

IT'S WHEN YOU BEAT A MAN TO DWET A CAT FISH.

SEW CHANGED IT TO RED NECK BLANK.

WOULD PEOPLE KNOW WHAT THAT SNEENS HE NEEDED MY HELP.

I'M GOING GIVE YOU ALL THE POMP AND CIRCUMSTANCE OF AN NBC-STYLE COVERAGE.

>> I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE HELL YOU JUST SAID.

>> I'M IMG TO COVER THE GAMES FOR YOU.

>> YEAH?

>> FULL "THE DAILY SHOW" PRODUCTION TEAM ALL THEIR MIGHT BEHIND YOU.

>> YEAH.

>> ALL RIGHT WOULD YOU JUST ACT LIKE I JUST MOVED YOU.

MAYBE TEAR UP, SOMETHING.

♪ ♪ (bleep) WE'LL EDIT IN POST.

♪ ♪ WELCOME TO THE 2012 RED NECK BLANK LIVE FROM HEBRON, MAINE.

WE'VE SEEN EXCITEMENT FROM THE CLIFF EXERCISES TO THE MEMBER'S

QUARTER METER HIGH DIVE AND NOW THE GAMES ARE MOVING DOWN TO HISTORIC RED NECK PACE.

I'VE GOT THIS THING COVERED FROM EVERY ANGLE.

GO I TOP JASON JONES AT THE SIDELINES I'M AT THE TOILET SEAT QUARTER FINALS WHERE A MAN KNOWN

AS JUST AS YUMMY IS SQUARING OFF TO AGAINST A SQUIRRELY GUY FROM AUGUSTA.

YOU QUALIFIED FOR THE SEMIS, HOW DO YOU FEEL?

>> I DON'T CARE.

>> LET'S GET A CLOSER LOOK AT THE RISING STAR.

YUMMY GROW UP IN A PICTURESQUE CORNER OF MAINE.

>> MY NAME IS YUMMY I THROW TOILET SEATS IN THE CONTEST.

>> JUST 29 AND ALREADY AT THE TOP OF HIS GAME.

WITH THAT WE'RE GOING BACK DOWN TO THE RING TOSS FINAL WHERE SPOILER ALERT YUMMY TAKES GOLD.

I DON'T THINKUMMER IS GOING TO PULL THIS OFF.

HE NEEDS A PERFECT BULL'S EYE TO WIN THIS GOLD.

HE HAS DONE IT A PERFECT TOSS.

A PERFECT TOSS.

>> GETTING THE GOLD MEDAL,

EVERYBODY.

>> SO WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE COVERAGE?

PRETTY GOOD, RIGHT?

>> YEAH.

THIS IS GOING TO COST ME A LOT OF MONEY SO SHOW A LITTLE EXCITEMENT.

>> YEAH, YEAH.

>> (bleep) LAID BACK, MAINE.

WELCOME BACK TO THE REDNECK BLANK.

WE HAVE THE PICKUP TRUCK DRESSAGE BUT A PROMO FOR THE NEW SHOW THE NETWORK IS GOING TO

SHOVE DOWN YOUR THROAT ALL WEEK.

>> THIS FALL IT WILL REIN SUPREME.

AMERICA'S NEXT TOP ANIMATED VOICE ACTOR.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

>> THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING WITH.

>> I'LL FLY YOU TO SAFETY.

>> YOU ARE A LE RENT MICKEY MOUSE.

>> GET YOUR VOICE IN TUNE.

>> NOW WE'RE GOING TO MEET A SPECIAL ATHLETE COMPETING IN THE

MOST POPULAR AND CHALLENGING EVENT OF THE GAMES, THE VERY WET T-SHIRT CONTEST.

MEET 24-YEAR-OLD JESSICA HALL OF LIVERMORE FALLS.

SHE'S DOMINATED THE REGIONAL COMPETITION BUT DOES SHE HAVE WHAT IT TAKES TO WIN ON THE BIG STAGE.

WELCOME TO THE RED NECK BLANK AQUATICS CENTER.

I FOUND OUT YOU ALMOST DIDN'T MAKE IT.

TWO DAYS AGO YOU HAD SURGERY.

>> I DIDN'T HAVE SURGERY I GOT MY (bleep) PIERCED.

>> WELL, GOOD LUCK OUT THERE.

>> SHE COMES BOUNDING OUT AND RIGHT TO A BACKSIDE GATOR THERE.

THE SIGNATURE MOVE.

THE DOUBLE FLOP.

SHE NAILED IT.

ARE YOU SEEING THIS?

ARE YOU SEEING THIS?

AN HISTORIC PERFORMANCE.

YOU JUST TOOK GOLD.

HOW DO YOU FEEL.

>> I FEEL GREAT I BEAT THAT RUSSIAN SLUT.

>> YOU CERTAINLY DID AND I BET YOUR FAMILY IS PROUD OF YOU.

>> THAT CONCLUDES THE COVERAGE.

BEFORE WE GO WE'LL CHECK BACK IN WITH YUMMY.

IF THE USOC NONE OF THIS WOULD HAVE HAPPENED.

HOW DOES IT FEEL TO TRIUMPH IN THE FACE OF ADVERSITY?

>> IF THE TRUTH BE KNOWN I DON'T REALLY GIVE A (bleep).

>> THAT'S ALL YOU GOT?

OKAY.

THANKS FOR WATCHING.

>> Jon: JAS

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