Jon Stewart Returns

  • Aired:  09/03/13
  •  | Views: 356,440

John Oliver, Jessica Williams and Stephen Colbert help Jon to once again act American. (2:54)

>> JON IS BACK!

>> HEY, STUBIES!

>> HEY!

>> BABY.

>> MMM.

FORCE [SPEAKING IN FOREIGN

LANGUAGE]

>> HOW ARE YOU DOING?

>> MUSH, MUSHKA!

>> OH (BLEEP)!

>> WE HAVE A HUGE PROBLEM.

>> WHAT?

>> HEY, NO, I DON'T KNOW IS

BACK.

THE MIDDLE EAST HAS CHANGED HIM.

HE IS NOT EVEN ACTING AMERICAN.

GET A DEFIBRILLATOR AND TWO BIG

MACS.

LET'S DO THIS.

>> OKAY.

AH!

>> HEY, JON.

>> CLEAR!

>> OBAMACARE CAN SUCK POLLEN

BEE'S (BLEEP).

>> IT IS POLITICALLY CORRECT --

CAN'T WE SAY THAT WORD?

>> OPEN THAT THING.

JUST LOX.

HEAR ME, OH CHILDREN OF ISRAEL!

>> HA, HA, HA!

>> BICYCLE!

>> HA, HA, HA!

>> IS THAT A HEINEKEN?

>> OH, NO.

>> OKAY.

OKAY.

WE NEED THE FIXER.

>> HELLO.

>> YES.

WE NEED YOU DOWN HERE NOW.

>> ISOLATE HIM AND I WILL BE

RIGHT THERE.

>> THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

I APPRECIATE IT.

>> I WILL BREAK THIS MAN AND NO

MATTER WHAT YOU HEAR, NO MATTER

WHAT MOANS OF AGONY YOU HEAR, DO

NOT OPEN THAT DOOR.

>> I PROMISE.

>> OH, MY GOD!

>> NOW, THAT IS IT, I AM GOING

IN.

I AM GOING IN.

>> GOD BLESS AMERICA!

>> I DID WHAT I COULD.

THANKS.

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