Gaywatch - Holdouts Edition

  • Aired:  07/23/12
  •  | Views: 321,134

The Boy Scouts of America reaffirms its ban on openly gay boys and adult leaders, and Chick-fil-A's exclusionary policy incurs the wrath of the Muppets. (6:31)

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

>> Jon: WELCOME BACK.

YOU KNOW, IT'S BEEN NEARLY A YEAR SINCE THE UNITED STATES MILITARY ENDED ITS BAN ON OPENLY

GAY AND LESBIAN TROOPS AND SINCE THEN THE UNITED STATES HASN'T WON A SINGLE WAR!

BUT YOU WON'T HEAR ABOUT THAT ON THE LAME STREAM NEWS.

NOPE.

(LAUGHTER) MAYBE BRIAN ROSS WILL THROW IT OUT THERE.

(LAUGHTER) THIS GUY WAS IN THE TEA PARTY,

HE MIGHT BE A KILLER!

(LAUGHTER) IT'S ALL BEEN COMING UP ROSES FOR THE GAY EQUALITY MOVEMENT.

NOT TONIGHT!

TONIGHT WE'LL TALK ABOUT THE PEOPLE DIGGING IN THEIR HEELS,

LIKE THE JAPANESE SOLDIERS ON GUAM WHO BRAVELY FOUGHT WORLD WAR II WELL INTO THE 1970s.

THIS IS GAY WATCH, HOLDOUTS EDITION.

THE ARMY MAY NOW BE HOS PIT TO BELIEVE GAY PEOPLE BUT THE FAKE ARMY FOR CHILDREN ISN'T GIVING IN.

>> THE BOY SCOUTS OF AMERICA REAFFIRMING ITS BAN ON OPENLY GAY BOYS AND ADULT LEADERS.

THE SCOUTS MAKING THIS ANNOUNCEMENT AFTER CONDUCTING AN INTERNAL REVIEW AND, DESPITE

PROTESTS FROM THE PUBLIC, IT PUT OUT A NEWS RELEASE SAYING ITS EXCLUSIONARY POLICY "REFLECTS

THE BELIEFS AND PERSPECTIVES OF THE ORGANIZATION."

>> Jon: WOW.

I'VE NEVER SEEN A NEWS ORGANIZATION TAKE SUCH A HARSH STAND GOENS SEXUALITY SINCE THE

GIRL SCOUTS DISCONTINUED THE CHALET CREEM.

WHATEVER YOUR TAKE ON THIS ISSUE YOU HAVE TO ADMIT THAT WAS A PRETTY GAY COOKIE.

(LAUGHTER) LOOK, I DON'T WANT TO MINIMIZE THE CONCERNS OF THE BOY SCOUTS.

(LAUGHTER) BUT YOU ALREADY... YOU'RE THERE ARE GAYEST ORGANIZATION IN AMERICA.

(LAUGHTER) (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) I MEAN, IF YOU ARE IN ANY WAY CONCERNED ABOUT COMING OFF LIKE

A GAY ORGANIZATION, I'M NOT SURE THE NECKERCHIEF IS THE BEST ACCESSORY CHOICE.

AND THIS DOESN'T HELP "WAIT,

GUYS, I'M JUST GOING TO SEW MY BASKET WEAVING PATCH TO MY SASH BECAUSE, YOU KNOW, I WANT TO

LOOK GOOD FOR THE JAMBOREE." (LAUGHTER) HEY, THE NEW ISSUE OF BOYS LIFE" IS HERE.

"HEY, I JUST GOT IT!

WOW!

CHECK OUT THIS GUY'S... OUT DOORSMANSHIP." (LAUGHTER) THE BOY SCOUTS DON'T STAND ALONE.

THERE'S ANOTHER IMPORTANT CULTURAL INSTITUTION ALSO HOLDING OUT.

>> CHICK-FIL-A HAS MADE NO SECRET OF ITS CHRISTIAN VALUES AND NOW ITS PRESIDENT IS MAKING

IT CLEAR THAT WHEN IT COMES TO OPPOSING GAY MARRIAGE HE AND HIS COMPANY ARE GUILTY AS CHARGED.

>> REALLY?

HAS ANYBODY TOLD THIS GUY?

(LAUGHTER) THAT IS HOW A COW WOULD SPELL (BLEEP).

COWS SOUND THINGS OUT.

(BLEEP).

(LAUGHTER) SO WHAT EXACTLY IS CHICK-FIL-A C.E.O.'S PROBLEM WITH SAME-SEX MARRIAGE?

>> I THINK WE'RE INVITING GOD'S JUDGMENT ON OUR NATION WHEN WE

SHAKE OUR FIST AT HIM AND SAY "WE KNOW BETTER THAN YOU AS TO

WHAT CONSTITUTES A MARRIAGE." WE HAVE THE AUDACITY TO REDEFINE WHAT MARRIAGE IS ALL ABOUT.

>> Jon: I AGREE WITH THIS MAN WHO MAKES DELICIOUS SANDWICHES!

THAT IS WHY I HAVE AND WE AS A CULTURE HAVE ALWAYS DEFINED MARRIAGE AS IT WAS DESIGNED IN

THE FINAL.

YES, LET'S SEE HOW IT'S DEFINED IN... YES!

(LAUGHTER) "IF BROTHERS ARE LIVING TOGETHER AND ONE OF THEM DIES WITHOUT A

SON HIS WIDOW MUST NOT MARRY OUTSIDE THE FAMILY.

HER HUSBAND'S BROTHER SHALL TAKE HER AND MARRY HER AND FULFILL THE DUTY OF A BROTHER-IN-LAW TO

HER." DUET RONNIE.

WAIT "IF A MAN HAPPENS TO MEET A VIRGIN WHO IS NOT PLEDGED HE SHALL PAY HER FATHER 50

SCHECKELS OF SILVER." HE'S NOT AN ASS (BLEEP).

(LAUGHTER) "HE MUST MARRY THE YOUNG WOMAN FOR HE HAS VIOLATED HER.

HE CANNOT DIVORCE HER AS LONG AS HE LIVES." MARRIAGE!

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) MARRIAGE!

SAMUEL 18 "DAVID TOOK HIS MEN WITH HIM AND KILLED 200 PHILISTINES AND BROUGHT BACK

THEIR FORE SKINS." (LAUGHTER) NOT AS EASY AS IT SOUNDS.

(LAUGHTER) THEY COUNTED OUT THE FULL NUMBER TO THE KING.

(LAUGHTER) (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) SO DAVID MIGHT BECOME THE KING'S SON-IN-LAW.

THEN SAUL GAVE HIM HIS DAUGHTER IN MARRIAGE.

YUP.

THAT'S ABOUT AS MANY FORESKINS AS SHE'S WORTH.

NATURALLY THERE WAS BOUND TO BE BUSH PAC.

THIS WEEKEND THE MUPPETS TOOK TO FACEBOOK TO SAY THE JIM HENSON COMPANY HAS NOTIFIED CHICK-FIL-A

THAT WE DON'T WISH TO PARTNER THEM ON ANY FUTURE ENDEAVORS.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) THE MUPPETS WERE PARTNERED WITH CHICK-FIL-A?

(LAUGHTER) THE DOES BIG BIRD KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THAT?

(LAUGHTER) (AS BIG BIRD") HEY, GUYS, WHAT'S EVERYBODY EATING?

>> NOTHING, BIG BIRD,

EVERYTHING'S COOL?

>> HAS ANYONE SEEN MY KIDS?

(LAUGHTER) ANYWAY, NOT JUST THE MUPPETS.

BOSTON MAYOR TOM MENINO HAD A MESSAGE FOR CHICK-FIL-A.

>> MAYOR MENINO SAYS THE SOUTHERN FAST FOOD CHAIN'S POLICY WON'T FLY IN BOSTON.

>> HE WON'T ALLOW CHICK-FIL-A INTO BOSTON UNLESS THEY CHANGE THEIR POLICY.

>> Jon: WOW.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) OPEN YOUR EYES.

OPEN YOUR EYES, OWNER OF CHICK-FIL-A.

YOU'RE BEING SUCH AN AS (BLEEP) NOT EVEN BOSTON WILL TOLERATE YOU.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) WE'LL BE RIGHT

Loading...