Lord of the Rings

  • Aired:  05/10/12
  •  | Views: 99,100

It's a great day when the President of the United States says on national television that gay people should no longer be relegated to only planning other people's weddings. (2:46)

Captioning sponsored by

COMEDY CENTRAL

( THEME SONG PLAYING )

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

>> Jon: WELCOME TO THE DAILY SHOW, MY NAME IS JON STEWART.

WE HAVE A SHOW FOR YOU TODAY.

ROBERT CARO WILL BE JOINING US, AUTHOR OF "THE PASSAGE OF POWER"

IT'S THE FOURTH VOLUME IN HIS REMARKABLE BIOGRAPHY OF LBJ, LBJ, OF COURSE, SPANISH FOR THE BJ.

(LAUGHTER) BUT WE BEGIN TONIGHT WITH LAST NIGHT'S MOMENTOUS NEWS.

>> IT IS IMPORTANT FOR ME TO GO AHEAD AND AFFIRM THAT I THINK SAME-SEX COUPLES

SHOULD BE ABLE TO GET MARRIED (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

>> Jon: FINALLY,-- FROM ITS PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES.

OF COURSE THE PRESIDENT STILL BELIEVES IT IS AN ISSUE BEST LEFT TO THE STATES.

BUT THEY'RE NOT COMPLAINING TONIGHT.

IT'S A GREAT DAY WHEN THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES SAYS ON NATIONAL IT

WAS GAY PEOPLE SHOULD NO LONGER BE RELEGATED TO ONLY PLANNING OTHER PEOPLE'S WEDDINGS.

IT'S NOT RIGHT!

IT'S LIKE PUTTING A CAT IN CHARGE OF THE GOLDFISH TOSS GAME.

IT'S NOT FAIR!

YOU'RE JUST TORTURING THE CAT.

LET HIM EAT THE FISH OR MOVE HIM DOWN TO THE CLOWN.

THAT'S A BETTER GAME FOR THE CAT.

WHAT ARE WE TALKING ABOUT?

I FORGOT ALREADY.

GAY MARRIAGE.

MANY WERE SUGGESTING THAT THE PRESIDENT'S HAND WAS FORCED BY HIS VICE PRESIDENT

OLD FLUBS McGILL CUTIE OF THE DELAWARE BLABBERMOUTH BY ADDRESSING THE ISSUE WITH

HIS REMARKS ON "MEET THE PRESS" LAST SUNDAY.

>> SO YOU ARE NOT UP SET WITH FEBRUARY.

>> WOULD I HAVE PREFERRED TO HAVE DONE THIS IN MY OWN WAY.

>> Jon: I'M SORRY MR. PRESIDENT, I APOLOGISE FOR CUTTING YOU OFF THERE,

I'M HAVING TROUBLE HEARING YOU BECAUSE OF ALL THE

[BLEEP] BIRDS!

DID YOU FILM THIS AT THE WHITE HOUSE OR THE RAINFOREST CAFE?

WHAT IS GOING ON BACK THERE!

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) THE IMPORTANT THING FOR AMERICAS IS-- CAW, CAW, CAW!

OOOH-HA-HA,-A,-AN.

WHAT ARE WE TALKING ABOUT AGAIN?

GAY MARRIAGE, ANYWAY, LET'S GO BACK TO THE SET OF RIO TO HEAR THE REST OF THE

PRESIDENT'S STATEMENT.

>> WOULD I HAVE PREFERRED TO HAVE DONE THIS IN MY OWN WAY,

IN MY OWN TERMS, WITHOUT, I THINK THERE BEING A LOT OF NOTICE TO EVERYBODY, OF COURSE.

BUT ALWAYS'S WELL THAT ENDS WELL.

>> Jon: THERE YOU GO.

SO YOU KIND OF FORCED YOUR HAND.

A BIG MOUTH FRIEND OF YOURS,

YOU KNOW, SAID SOMETHING.

NOW EVERYBODY KNOWS SOMETHING ABOUT YOU THAT YOU WERE HOPING TO TELL THEM IN YOUR OWN WAY.

(LAUGHTER) CONGRATULATIONS,

MR. PRESIDENT.

YO

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