Tree Fighting Ceremony

  • Aired:  12/06/11
  •  | Views: 189,144

Fox News objects to Rhode Island Governor Lincoln Chafee leaving "Christmas" out of the Statehouse tree lighting ceremony invitation. (4:28)

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COMEDY CENTRAL

>> Jon: WELCOME TO "THE DAILY

SHOW"!

MY NAME IS JON STEWART!

YOU'RE VERY KIND.

HOW MANY PEOPLE GET THIS WHEN

THEY GO TO WORK, REALLY?

I DON'T EVEN GET THIS WHEN I GO

HOME.

I NEED TO HAVE SOMEBODY GO AND

WARM UP MY FAMILY FOR WHEN I GET

HOME.

WHEN I GET HOME "DAD!"

MY GUEST TONIGHT, JONAH HILL.

FRIENDS... FRIENDS-- AND I SAY

THAT NOT REALLY BEING ABLE TO

SEE WHO'S WATCHING-- FRIEND,

IT'S THAT TIME OF YEAR AGAIN.

HOLIDAY MAGIC.

THE TWINNING OF LIGHTS, THE

NOTHING OF EGGS AND, OF COURSE,

ANGER AND BITTER DISAPPOINTMENT.

>> RHODE ISLAND GOVERNOR LINCOLN

CHAFEE COMING UNDER FIRE AFTER

REFUSING TO CALL THE TREE IN THE

RHODE ISLAND STATEHOUSE A

CHRISTMAS TREE.

>> Jon: HE INSISTS PEOPLE CALL

IT THE DEVIL'S PINE!

(LAUGHTER)

SATAN'S SPRUCE!

A TREE BORTION.

(LAUGHTER)

IT'S FOX'S WAR ON CHRISTMAS!

IT'S BACK, BABY.

AND THIS YEAR'S DESIGNATED

KROOJ, RHODE ISLAND GOVERNOR AND

PART TIME STEVE DOOCY

IMPERSONATOR...

(LAUGHTER).

LINCOLN CHAFEE.

A COUPLE OF WEEKS AGO CHAFEE HAD

THE AUDACITY TO INVITE AMERICANS

TO A "TREE LIGHTING."

OR, JUDGING BY THE REACTION, A

JESUS TIPPING.

>> IT'S A CHRISTMAS TREE.

KEEP CHRIST IN CHRISTMAS.

>> FOR FOLKS WHO ARE WATCHING

RIGHT NOW AND THINKING THAT'S

CRAY SHIRKS I SHOULD CALL THE

GOVERNOR.

WE'VE GOT HIS PHONE NUMBER.

>> IT HAS LIGHTS AND ORNAMENTS

AND A DECORATION ON TOP, IT'S A

CHRISTMAS TREE.

>> FOR THE PAST EIGHT YEARS

BEFORE THIS GOVERNOR, YOUR

FORMER GOVERNOR IN FACT DID CALL

IT A CHRISTMAS TREE, RIGHT?

>> HE DID, GRETCHEN.

>> Jon: YES, AND WHILE THAT'S

NOT TRUE...

(LAUGHTER).

WHO CARES?

IT MAKES THEM ANGRY.

SEE, THE PREVIOUS REPUBLICAN

GOVERNOR'S 2009 INVITATION TO

THIS VERY SAME CEREMONY ALSO

USES THE OFFENDING PHRASE

"HOLIDAY TREE LIGHTING!"

I MEAN, SOMEHOW THAT NOT AKIN TO

WIPING YOUR ASS WITH THE SHROUD

OF TURIN?

I MEAN, REALLY.

(LAUGHTER)

THAT'S A RHETORICAL QUESTION,

OBVIOUSLY.

NOW, WHO CARES IF THE STORY IS

TRUE OR WHAT IT ACTUALLY MEANS?

THE IMPORTANT THING IS IS TO

ALLOW THIS HEATHEN GOVERNOR TO

DEFILE A SACRED RITUAL... RITUAL

RITUAL.

I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT I WAS

COMBINING THAT WORD WITH.

TO ALLOW HIM TO DEFILE A SACRED

RITUAL.

(LAUGHTER)

IT'S TO IMPERIL OUR NATION'S

VERY FOUNDING PRINCIPLES.

>> WHY DO THESE PILGRIMS BRAVE

INCREDIBLY DIFFICULT CONDITIONS

TO LIVE HERE, DIE HERE, AND TO

TRY TO START A NEW WAY OF LIFE

FOR THEPTSES?

>> RELIGIOUS FREEDOM FOR

EVERYONE.

>> RELIGIOUS FREEDOM.

>> AND NOW IT'S ON THE ROCKS.

>> Jon: YES.

YES, LADY WEARING CROSS ON

TELEVISION.

(LAUGHTER)

RELIGIOUS FREEDOM IS ON THE

ROCKS!

THE ROCKS!

OF COURSE, NOT AS ON THE ROCKS

AS IT WAS IN THE 17th

CENTURY WHEN YOUR FRIENDS THE

PILGRIMS OUTLAWED CHRISTMAS

CELEBRATIONS AS A SACRILEGE AND

DECLARED GIFTS AND CHRISTMAS

DECORATIONS SATAN CAL, LEVYING A

FIVE-SHILLING FINE ON ANYONE FOR

SAYING MERRY CHRISTMAS.

FIVE SHILLINGS.

I MEAN, IN THOSE DAYS THAT'S TWO

MILK COWS AND A BUCKLED HAT.

(LAUGHTER)

IF THE PILGRIMS WERE ALIVE

TODAY, THIS IS HOW THEY'D

DECORATE THE TOWN SQUARE.

(LAUGHTER)

OR PERHAPS YOU'D PREFER TO

CELEBRATE CHRISTMAS THE WAY OUR

FOUNDING FATHERS DID?

>> ON DECEMBER 25, 1789, THE

UNITED STATES CONGRESS SAT IN

SESSION AND CONTINUED TO STAY

OPEN ON CHRISTMAS DAY FOR MOST

OF THE NEXT 67 YEARS.

>> Jon: HOW'S THAT TASTE,

MOTHER (BLEEP)ERS?

(LAUGHTER)

THAT'S RIGHT!

WHEN THE COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED,

CONGRESS HAD EXACTLY THE SAME

ATTITUDE ABOUT THE SANCTITY OF

CHRISTMAS CELEBRATIONS THAT A

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