Indecision 2012 - New Hampshire Primary Results

  • Aired:  01/11/12
  •  | Views: 84,555

Mitt Romney becomes the first Republican non-incumbent to win both Iowa and New Hampshire without being liked by anyone, and Jon Huntsman celebrates his third-place finish. (6:16)

>> Jon: HEY, EVERYBODY.

WELCOME TO "THE DAILY SHOW."

MY NAME IS JON STEWARTMENT WE

HAVE A GOOD ONE FOR YOU TONIGHT.

OUR GUEST TONIGHT, UNITED STATES

SENATOR JIM DeMINT, AUTHOR OF

A NEW BOOK "NOW OR NEVER."

I'M GOING TO GET HE FALLS ON THE

NOW SIDE.

TOMORROW NIGHT OUR GUEST WILL BE

THE INTERNET.

[LAUGHTER]

WE'LL BE ALL, WHAT?

THAT'S ALL I'M GOING TO SAY

ABOUT THAT.

I HAVE SOME READING TO CATCH UP

ON.

BUT WILL BEGIN TONIGHT WITH YOUR

RESULTS OF LAST NIGHT'S VOTING

IN NEW HAMPSHIRE IN INDECISION

2012.

WITH 100% OF THE VOTES COUNTED,

THE MAN OF THE NIGHT ONE MILLARD

MITTINGTON ROMNEY, WHO CAPTURED

NEW HAMPSHIRE WITH 39% OF THE

VOTE.

IT WAS AN HISTORIC WIN FOR

ROMNEY.

HE BECAME THE FIRST REPUBLICAN

NON-INCUMBENT TO WIN IOWA AND

NEW HAMPSHIRE WHILE STILL HAVING

NO ONE LIKE HIM.

[LAUGHTER]

ROMNEY WAS INTRODUCED BY HIS

WIFE ANN, WHO STILL HAS YET TO

ENDORSE A CANDIDATE.

AND WAS ACCOMPANIED BY WHAT I

CAN ONLY ASSUME IS SOME TYPE OF

OSMOND TRIBUTE BAND.

[LAUGHTER]

I GOT TWO WORDS FOR THE ROMNEY

CAMPAIGN: BACHELOR AUCTION.

MEOW.

I'M SORRY.

TO THE VICTORY SPEECH.

>> WE DO REMEMBER WHEN BARACK

OBAMA CAME TO NEW HAMPSHIRE FOUR

YEARS AGO.

HE PROMISED TO BRING PEOPLE

TOGETHER.

HE PROMISED TO CHANGE THE BROKEN

SYSTEM IN WASHINGTON.

HE PROMISED TO IMPROVE OUR

NATION.

THOSE WERE THE DAYS OF LOFTY

PROMISES MADE BY A HOPEFUL

CANDIDATE.

>> Jon: YEAH, WHAT A JERK THAT

OBAMA WAS.

[LAUGHTER]

I'M GOING TO DO THIS AND I'M

GOING TO DO THAT.

[BLEEPED]

EMPTY SUIT STANDING ON A

PLATFORM IN NEW HAMPSHIRE MAKING

LOFTY PROMISES HE KNEW HE

COULDN'T POSSIBLY FULFILL I'M

SORRY, MITT.

I INTERRUNNINGED YOU.

CONTINUE.

>> I WILL CUT, CAP AND BALANCE

THE FEDERAL BUDGET.

LY MAKE THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT

SIMPLER, SMALLER AND SMARTER.

I WILL INSIST ON A MILITARY SO

POWERFUL NO ONE WOULD EVER THINK

OF CHALLENGING IT.

>> Jon: SEE, PEOPLE, MY

PROMISES ARE REALISTIC.

A TINY GOVERNMENT, A BALANCED

BUDGET AND A GIANT INVINCIBLE

ARMY.

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, I GIVE YOU

NEW SPARTA.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

IT'S LIKE OLD SPARTA, VERY

SIMILAR.

IT'S LIKE OLD SMART THAT BUT

WITH LESS CAPITAL GAINS TAXES

AND NOT AS GAY.

[LAUGHTER]

THANK YOU.

WITH MITT ROMNEY'S VICTORY IN

THE BAG, THE ONLY QUESTION THAT

REMAINED LAST NIGHT, WHO WOULD

BE FIRST PUNDIT TO DISMISS RON

PAUL'S SECOND-PLACE FINISH.

>> NBC NEWS CAN NOW PROJECT THAT

RON PAUL WILL FINISH SECOND.

>> IF YOU TAKE RON PAUL OUT OF

THIS, WHAT WOULD HAVE HAPPENED

TO HUNTSMAN?

>> HUNTSMAN IS THE REAL SECOND

HERE.

JON JON NO.

YOU CAN'T... YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED

TO JUST TAKE RON PAUL OUT OF IT.

THAT'S JUST PHYSICS.

YOU'RE NOT... AND YOU KNOW, IF

YOU ADD TWO ZEROS TO THE END OF

HUNTSMAN'S TOTAL, HE WOULD HAVE

BEEN IN FIRST BY HUNDREDS OF

THOUSANDS OF VOTES, AN

UNPRECEDENTED VERY TRY.

WHY IS NO ONE TALKING ABOUT

THIS?

BECAUSE IT DIDN'T HAPPEN!

[LAUGHTER]

SINCE WE BROUGHT UP JON HUNTSMAN

, SEEING AS I BELIEVE

THE OPPORTUNITY TO DO SO IS A

LIMITED-TIME OFFER.

NEW HAMPSHIRE WAS HUNTSMAN'S BIG

GAMBLE.

HE SKIPPED IOWA TO CONCENTRATE

ALL HIS EFFORTS ON WINNING

THERE.

HE PROVED THERE FOR A YEAR.

AND FINISHED A DISTANT THIRD.

>> WE GOT IT DONE, LADIES AND

GENTLEMEN.

I SAY THIRD PLACE IS A TICKET TO

RIDE, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.

[LAUGHTER]

>> Jon: A TICKET TO RIDE...

HOME.

IN COACH.

LOOK HOW HUNTSMAN ENDS HIS

SPEECH.

>> THANK YOU ALL SO VERY MUCH.

>> Jon: THERE'S NO CONFETTI

FOR THIRD PLACE.

THIRD PLACE DOESN'T GET

CONFETTI.

THE ONLY CONFETTI IS THIRD PLACE

CAN GET IS, "I CAN'T BELIEVE I

MOVED HERE FOR A YEAR AND I

LOST."

I WAS TRYING TO MAKE THAT INTO

SMALLER PIECES AND THEN IT WOULD

HAVE LOOKED MORE LIKE CONFETTI,

BUT OBVIOUSLY MY HAND SPEED IS

NOT WHAT IT USED TO BE.

ARTHRITIS AND MAYBE GOOD...

HOW'S A GUY SPEND A YEAR IN NEW

HAMPSHIRE AND NOT CONNECT WITH

THE GONE ET STATE'S SALT OF THE

EARTH, BEDROCK, AMERICAN LOVING

YANKEE, JUST ROLL THE TAPE.

>> AS THEY WOULD SAY IN CHINA,

MITT...

[SPEAKING MANDARIN]

[LAUGHTER]

>> Jon: OH, RIGHT, HE SPEAKS

MANDARIN.

I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT'S NOT

IMPRESSIVE TO A REPUBLICAN

PRIMARY AUDIENCE WHO WON'T EVEN

EAT MANDARIN ON, BECAUSE THEY

DON'T WANT TO TAKE JOBS AWAY

FROM AMERICAN FRUIT.

YOU KNOW WHAT, HUNTSMAN, MEET ME

AT CAMERA YOU CAME IN THIRD.

LOOK, I KNOW THIS IS HARD FOR

YOU, BUT IT'S OVER.

YOU'RE SMART MAN.

YOU HAD A GOOD RUN AS A GUY

PUNDITS COULDN'T BELIEVE PEOPLE

DON'T LIKE ME, BUT THEY DON'T.

YOU HAVE A GREAT LIFE, A

BEAUTIFUL FAMILY, BUT IT'S TIME

TO PUT THE CONFETTI INTO

STORAGE.

YOU KNOW WHAT, THIS ISN'T

GETTING THROUGH.

LET ME PUT THIS IN TERMS YOU CAN

UNDERSTAND.

GNAW PUO.

LOON ZIE HWAH.

TYE LOO SURE DEE ARE TSI.

[LAUGHTER]

WOAH G

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