Anthony and Cleopenis

  • Aired:  06/01/11
  •  | Views: 136,203

Anthony Weiner can't say with certitude that a picture sent from his Twitter account is his junk shot. (2:59)

CAPTIONING SPONSORED BY

COMEDY CENTRAL

[THEME SONG PLAYING]

[APPLAUSE]

>> Jon: WELCOME TO "THE DAILY

SHOW."

MY NAME IS JON STEWART.

MY GUEST TONIGHT, WE GOT A GOOD

ONE FOR YOU TONIGHT, THE GREAT

BILL MOYERS WILL BE JOINING US,

ONE OF THE FEW LEGENDS OF PUBLIC

BROADCASTING NOT MADE OF FOAM

RUBBER.

PERHAPS YOU SAW ME ON MOYERS'

SHOW.

LAST NIGHT WE TOOK A MEASURED

LOOK.

GOD, THERE'S REALLY NO WAY TO

COVER THIS WEINER STORY.

ALL RIGHT.

FINE.

I GUESS [BLEEPED] WAS TAKEN.

ANYWAY, THE UPSHOT IS OBVIOUSLY

VERY STRANGE STORY.

CONGRESSMAN POSSIBLY TWEETED A

PICTURE OF HIS JOHN OR HAD HIS

TWITTER ACCOUNT HACKED AND A

PICTURE OF HIS JUNK SENT OR A

PICTURE OFcLINE IS THEREe1 WAS A JUNK SH

ODDLY ENOUGH, IT'S ALSO THE NAME

NAME OF WHAT WAS USED TO CLOG

THE GULF OIL LEAK.

ALSO HE'S A VERY GOOD FRIEND OF

MINE.

I WAS HOPING HE'D HAVE A VERY

CLEAR AND STRONG EXPLANATION

THAT HASN'T NECESSARILY HAPPENED

SO FAR.

BUT AFTER SAYING THAT HE WASN'T

GOING TO COMMENT ON THE

SITUATION, HE'S DIDN'T A FEW

INTERVIEWS THIS AFTERNOON.

OBVIOUSLY TOO LATE IN THE DAY

FOR US TO REALLY SINK OUR

TEETH...

[LAUGHTER]

I MEAN, THERE'S NO... IT'S TOO

LATE IN THE GAME FOR US TO SUCK

HIS [BLEEPED].

WHY RUN FROM IT?

FINE.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

WE CAN'T SHOW YOU A -- WE CAN

SHOW YOU A QUICK SNIPPET.

>> I DIDN'T SEND THAT PICTURE

OUT.

>> BUT THAT'S NOT A PICTURE OF

YOU MANY

>> I CAN'T SAY WITH CERTAINTUDE.

MY SYSTEM WAS HACKED.

PICTURES CAN BE MANIPULATED.

PICTURES CAN BE DROPPED IN AND

INSERTED.

[LAUGHTER]

I GUESS THAT CLEARS THAT UP.

YOU KNOW, I'M NOT CERTAIN ABOUT

A LOT OF THINGS.

THERE ARE THREE THINGS IN THIS

WORLD THAT I DO HAVE CERTAINTUDE

ON.

THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK IS THE

BEST STAR WARS MOVIE.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

O.J. KILLED THOSE TWO PEOPLE.

AND THE THIRD ONE IS WHAT MY

ERECT PENIS LOOKS LIKE IN MY OWN

UNDERWEAR.

[APPLAUSE]

I WILL TELL YOU THIS: I KNOW."| MY

PENIS LIKE THE FRONT OF MY HAND

THAT I USE TO GET TO KNOW MY

PENIS.

[LAUGHTER]

SO I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON

HERE.

I DON'T KNOW HOW THIS THING'S

GOING THE PLAY OUT, BUT

OBVIOUSLY WE'LL KEEP YOU

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