Daily Show: Democalypse 2012 - Cockblock the Vote

  • Aired:  08/16/12
  •  | Views: 171,159

A Pennsylvania court upholds a controversial voter I.D. law affecting 9% of the state electorate, but that's the price they pay to prevent something that doesn't happen. (5:15)

>> Jon: WELCOME TO THE DAILY SHOW.

THANK YOU FOR JOINING US.

YES, OH, WE'RE EXCITED TO WELCOME THIS GENTLEMAN BACK,

OUR GUEST TONIGHT ROB CORDDRY IS JOINING US.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

>> THAT MAN, AND I DON'T MIND SAYING IT THIS, THAT MAN IS EASILY IN MY TOP TWO

FAVORITE CORDDRY'S WHO HAS EVER WORKED HERE.

(LAUGHTER) HEY, YOU'RE A REGULAR WATCHER OF THIS PROGRAM.

YOU MAY HAVE NOTICED ONE, I RECENTLY HAD A BREAST REDUCTION.

(LAUGHTER) (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) THEY ARE REAL AND THEY ARE-- AND TWO, WE'VE GOT A

PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION COMING UP.

AMERICA'S DEMOGRAPHICS HAVE CHANGED DRAMATICALLY IN THE PAST TWO DECADE THERE ARE

TWO WAYS A POLITICAL PARTY CAN REACT TO THAT YOU CAN EITHER EXPAND YOUR APPEAL TO

A NEW FIELD OF VOTERS BY MAKING THEIR ISSUES YOUR ISSUES.

WELL, OR --

>> CAN THEY PASS THE VOTER OHIO LAW, LOY LOY,

PENNSYLVANIA.

>> GORGE GRA, QUIND END RNLD KANSAS, ARE ALLOWED TO REQUIRE PHOTO I.D..

>> IT DISPROPORTIONATELY AFFECTS DEMOCRATIC VOTERS.

>> THESE LAWS DISPROPORTIONATELY AFFECT MINORITY, THE YOUNG, THE OLD,

THE POOR.

>> Stephen: THE YOUNG, THE OLD, THE POOR MINORITIES.

FOUR HORSEMEN OF THE DEMOCALYPSE.

WHICH IS WHY IT IS THE SUBJECT OF TONIGHT'S DEMOCALYPSE 2012.

AS YOU KNOW-- AS YOU KNOW AND YOU WELL KNOW THIS, IN PERSON VOTER FRAUD IS AN

ENORMOUS ISSUE WITH MORE THAN EXACTLY 10 DOCUMENTED CASES OF IT IN THE ENTIRE COUNTRY ALONE.

JUST SINCE THE BEGINNING OF THE MILLENNIUM.

THAT'S .000000284% OF ALL VOTES!

(LAUGHTER) SO YOU CAN SEE WHY PENNSYLVANIA WOULD WANT TO ENACT A VOTER I.D. LAW THAT

ONE CITY CLAIMS COULD-- OR AROUND 9% OF THE ENTIRE PENNSYLVANIA ELECTORATE.

BUT THAT'S THE PRICE YOU PAY TO PREVENT SOMETHING THAT DOESN'T HAPPEN.

(LAUGHTER) IT'S LIKE HOW PEANUT PUT CERTIFICATE MADE WITH HUGE AMOUNTS OF HYDRO COLORIC

ACID TO-- DRAGON BONES THAT MAY HAVE GOTTEN INTO IT DURING THE MANUFACTURING PROCESS.

WILL YOU LOSE SOME PEOPLE WHO DIE BY EATING HYDRO COLORIC ACID, OF COURSE.

BUT ISN'T IT WORTH KNOWING THAT YOUR PEANUT BUTTER IS DRAGON BONE FREE?

NOW PENNSYLVANIA HAS VOTED DEMOCRAT-- DEMOCRATIC IN THE LAST FIVE PRESIDENTIAL ELECTIONS.

LEANING TOWARD OS BAMA IN THIS ELECTION.

NOT ONLY THIS VOTER I.D. LAW IS BLATANTLY DESIGNED TO SKEW THAT RESULT, RIGHT?

THE HOUSE REPUBLICAN MAJORITY LEADER THAT DESIGNED IT.

>> VOTER I.D. WHICH IS GOING TO ALLOW GOVERNOR ROMNEY TO WIN THE STATE OF PENNSYLVANIA, DONE.

(LAUGHTER)

>> Jon: LORD KNOWS WE DIDN'T WANT ROMNEY RUNNING ON HIS PERSONALITY AND POLICY, AM I

RIGHT PEOPLE.

AND I'M ASSUMING THAT THE JUDGE IN PENNSYLVANIA WHO HAS BEEN ASKED TO REVIEW IT

WILL SEE IT AS A PARTISAN ACT.

>> IT IS A STUNNING DECISION FROM THE PENNSYLVANIA COURT.

THE STATE'S NEW TOUGH VOTER I.D. LAW WILL NOT BE STOPPED.

THE JUDGE BELIEVES IT WILL BE CARRIED OUT IN A NONPARTISAN EVENHANDED MANNER.

(LAUGHTER)

>> Jon: YES, OF COURSE.

THIS LAW CREATED FOR SPECIFICALLY PARTISAN PURPOSES WILL BE CARRIED OUT IN A NONPARTISAN EVENHANDED MANNER.

MUCH IN THE WAY THAT ROBO SAARUS WHILE CREATED SOLELY AS AN AUTOMOBILE EATING

MACHINE, WILL MOST LIKELY VALET PARK AT YOUR PARTY WITH NO FORESEEABLE PROBLEMS.

WHY WOULD IT-- MAYBE I'M BEING TOO HARD ON IT.

AS LONG AS VOTERS ARE EDUCATED ABOUT THE LAW IN A NONPARTISAN WAY.

>> A CONTRACT?

FOR THE JOB OF EDUCATING PENNSYLVANIAIANS ON THE NEW VOTING RESTRICTIONS WAS GIVEN TO A MAN WHO HAS

HELPED RAISE $30,000 FOR THE MITT ROMNEY FOR PRESIDENT CAMPAIGN.

HE'S ALSO THE FORMER EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR OF THE STATE REPUBLICAN PARTY.

>> Jon: ROBO SAARUS HUNGRY!

ROBOSAURUS SMASH!

WELL, I GUESS THAT DOES EXPLAIN THE NEW VOTER I.D.

AD I SAW.

>> WAS'S UP, PENNSYLVANIA,

GUESS WHOSE'S COME TOGETHER MONTGOMERIE COUNTY AMPITHEATRE.

IT'S THE MOTOR CITY MAD MERN TED NUDGE ENT.

REASONS HEY, FELLOW REPUBLICANS, NOW THAT ALL THE DEMOCRATS ARE CHANGED THE CHANNELS HERE IS VOTING INFORMATION.

WHEN YOU GO TO VOTE FOR MITT ROMNEY BRING PHOTO IDENTIFICATION.

IT IS REQUIRED.

AND DON'T TELL ANY BLACKS OR OLD PEOPLE.

AD PAID FOR BY THOSE WHO WANT ROMNEY TO WIN.

>> Jon: I WONDER IF HE

Loading...