The States: Meth Labs of Democracy

  • Aired:  02/20/14
  •  | Views: 110,361

For America's state legislatures, the arc of the moral universe bends not toward justice but backwards and up their own asses. (5:04)

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]>> Jon: WELCOME TO "THE DAILY

SHOW".

MY NAME IS JON STEWART.

MY GUEST TONIGHT RONAN FARROW.

HE HAS A NEW SHOW ON A NETWORKCALLED MSNBC, LOOK IT UP IN YOUR

CABLE GUIDE IT'S CALLED RONANFARROW DAILY.

SO I ASSUME THAT MEANS IT WILLAIR FOUR DAYS A WEEK FOR 22

MINUTES.

[LAUGHTER]BUT IF I MAY: I BELIEVE IT WAS

MARTIN LUTHER KING JR WHO SAIDTHE ARC OF THE MORAL UNIVERSE IS

LONG BUT IT BENDS TOWARDSJUSTICE.

OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT.

[ LAUGHTER ]HOWEVER, IT APPEARS SOME OF

AMERICA'S STATE LEGISLATURESWOULD LIKE TO MAKE THAT ARCLONGER AND

MAYBE HAVE IT BEND NOT AS MUCHTOWARDS JUSTICE BUT BACKWARDS

AND UP THEIR OWN ASSES. AS WE'LLSEE IN OUR NEXT SEGMENT, THESTATES: METH LABS OF DEMOCRACY.

LIKE KANSAS THE WHEAT STATE.

THE PLACE YOU ARE DESPERATELYTRYING TO GET BACK TO FROM OZ,

OL BOXY.

WHERE STATE LAWMAKERS ASKINGTHEIR PARENTS IS THAT ALL YOUGOT?

[LAUGHTER]PUT YOUR BACK INTO IT.

>> ONE KANSAS LAWMAKER WANTS TOALLOW PARENTS TO HIT THEIR KIDS

HARDER.

[LAUGHTER]>> Jon: YEAH.

CHEW ON THAT FOR A LITTLE BIT.

HELLO MY NAME IS REPRESENTATIVEGALE FINNEY.

ARE YOU HOLDING BACK FROMPUNCHING THE (bleep) OUT OF

YOUR CHILDREN BECAUSE YOU FEARLEGAL REPERCUSSIONS?

FEAR NO MORE YOUR NIGHTMARE ISOVER WHEREAS THEIRS IS JUST

BEGINNING.

>> THIS BILL ALLOWS SCHOOLTEACHERS, ALLOWS BABY-SITTERS,WHOEVER HAS

GUARDIAN'S WRITTEN PERMISSION TOHIT A CHILD HARDER.

>> Jon: BIRTHDAY CLOWNS, OTHERCHILDREN.

[ LAUGHTER ]LOCAL DRIFTERS, BOOGEYMEN OR

WOMEN.

WHOEVER IT IS IN YOUR LIFE THATYOU BELIEVE HITS THE HARDEST.

[ LAUGHTER ]YOU CAN SIGN THAT POWER OVER TO

THEM.

WHILE YOU ARE HERE TO FIX THECABLE WOULD YOU MIND GOING

UPSTAIRS?

I GOT A NINE-YEAR-OLD THAT WON'TMAKE THE BED.

[LAUGHTER]A QUICK SHOT TO THE CHOPS WOULD

DO IT.

WHAT IS THIS LAW SPECIFICALLYMEAN BY HARDER.

AND COULD YOU FORM YOURANSWER THE WAY PERHAPS A SERIAL

KILLER MIGHT?

>> HOUSE BILL 2699 QUOTECORPORAL

PUNISHMENT MEANS UP TO 10FORCEFUL APPLICATIONS IN

SUCCESSION OF A BARE OPENHANDED PALM AGAINST THE CLOSED

BUTTOCKS OF A CHILDACKNOWLEDGING THATBRUISING OR REDNESS MIGHT OCCUR

ON THE TENDER SKIN OF A CHILD ASA RESULT.

>> Jon: YEA AS THE ROSIEHANDPRINT BLOSSOMS ON THE YOUNG

CHILD'S BUTTOCKS LIKE A BLUSHINGFLOWER AGAINST A FIELD OF VIRGIN

SNOW ONLY THEN WILL A LESSON BEBRANDED ON YOUR ONCE DEFIANT

WARD.

-- YOUR HONOR.

WHY SHOULDN'T WE HIT OURCHILDREN HARD ENOUGH TO BRUISE

THEM?

>> THEY HAVE RESEARCH THAT HASSHOWN IT IS LESS EFFECTIVE THAN

TIME OUT.

IT TENDS TO LEAD TO MOREAGGRESSIVE BEHAVIORS WITH A

CHILD.

>> Jon: SCIENTIFIC STUDIESFROM A BONA FIDE EXPERT ON

DISCIPLINE.

AND THE COUNTER ARGUMENT.

>> SURE SHOT TWEETED US.

I AGREE WITH THE BILL.

I GOT SPANKED WITH MARKS AND ITTAUGHT ME TO BE A GROWN UP.

[ LAUGHTER ]>> Jon: AMERICAN ACADEMY OF

PEDIATRICS AND SURE SHOT AT DARNTOOTIN.

I GUESS ALL WE CAN DO IS TEACHTHE CONTROVERSY.

I'M NOT GOING TO HIT MY KIDS,BECOME SOME ANONYMOUS TWEETER

THINKS IT NEVER BOTHERED HIM.

I NEED ROLE MODELS.

>> DID YOUR PARENTS EVER SPANKYOU?

>> OH, GOD YES WITH THE HAIRBRUSH ON THE SIDE OF ROAD.

>> WITH MY DAD IT WAS ONE MOTIONA BELT.

SIDE OF THE ROAD. HUMILIATION.

>> IT WASN'T HUMILIATION.

IT WAS JUST SHEER CORPORALPUNISHMENT AND I MUST SAY IT WAS

EFFECTIVE.

[ LAUGHTER ]>> YEAH.

>> Jon: NO DEEP EMOTIONALSCARS THERE.

[ LAUGHTER ]BY THE WAY MIKA BRAZINSKI'S

FATHER IS A FORMER NATIONALSECURITY ADVISOR. I IMAGINE THAT

ANECDOTE WAS A TASTY ADDITION TOHIS WIKIPEDIA PAGE.

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