Hope and Change 2 - The Democratic National Convention

  • Aired:  09/04/12
  •  | Views: 142,247

The nuanced economic reasoning at the Democratic National Convention in Charlotte, NC, faces the combined force of Ronald Reagan and Chuck Norris. (6:12)

Captioning sponsored by COMEDY CENTRAL

>> VERY EXCITED YOU'RE FROM NORTH CAROLINA LINE -- SO NAMED FOR THE BAND WHO WAS HERE IN 1986.

WE'RE AT THE IMAGINON THEATRE,,

JOE ARE HERE TO ENTERTAIN US IN TONIGHT DNC HOST CITY.

WE ARE IN TAMPA AT THE REPUBLICAN NATIONAL CONVENTION.

WE ARE SLOWLY WORKING OUR WAY BACK HOME.

>> WE'RE NOT BETTER OFF THAN WE WERE FOUR YEARS AGO.

>> HOPE AND CHANGE WERE ELECTED FOUR YEARS AGO.

AND WHERE HAS THAT GOTTEN US.

THIS PRESIDENT CANNOT TELL US THAT YOU'RE BETTER OFF TODAY WHEN WE TOOK OFFICE.

SURE HE CAN [BLEEP] HEY,

MR. PRESIDENT, IT'S STILL A FREE COUNTRY UNTIL OBAMA GETS RE-ELECTED.

NO -- HE GOT ME AGAIN.

AT THE REPUBLICAN CONVENTION,

ARE YOU BETTER OFF?

NO.

NOW THE NEXT DAY OF THE 1KREU79D 1KREU79D -- SCRIPTED DANCE, DO THE JOURNALIST -- CAN YOU

HONESTLY SAY THAT PEOPLE ARE BETTER OFF TODAY THAN THEY WERE FOUR YEARS AGO?

>> THAT'S NOT THE QUESTION OF THIS SELECTION.

>> SEE, IT'S JUST A SCRIPTED DANCE WHERE, WAIT A SECOND.

[LAUGHTER]

DO YOU KNOW THE DEMOCRATIC GOVERNOR OF MARYLAND SAY.

>> NO,.

[LAUGHTER]

>> ALL RIGHT ONE SURROGATE DOWN.

ON AXELROD, ON COLOR, ON SWAP.

DAVID CAN YOU HONESTLY SAY THAT THE AVERAGE AMERICAN IS BETTER OFF TODAY THAN THEY WERE FOUR

YEARS AGO.

>> HERE'S WHAT I CAN SAY, CHRIS.

I CAN SAY THAT WE'RE IN A BETTER POSITION THAN WE WERE FOUR YEARS AGO.

>> I JUST WANT TO REMIND YOU WHAT WAS HAPPENING FOUR YEARS AGO AT THIS TIME.

>> LISTEN GEORGE, I THINK THE AMERICAN PEOPLE UNDERSTAND THAT WE GOT INTO TERRIBLE ECONOMIC SITUATION.

>> NO, THEY DON'T.

THE AMERICAN PEOPLE DON'T UNDERSTAND THAT.

HERE'S WHAT THE AMERICAN PEOPLE UNDERSTAND.

YOU'RE GETTING A FREE SANDWICH WHICH IS A GOOD REASON FOR BUYING TEN OTHER SANDWICHES.

[LAUGHTER]

HERE'S WHAT WE AND THE AMERICAN PEOPLE UNDERSTAND.

ANGELS ARE REAL.

[LAUGHTER]

HERE'S WHAT WE, THE AMERICAN PEOPLE UNDERSTAND THAT MALCOLM X WAS THE LEADER OF THE --

[LAUGHTER]

SO I WOULD URGE YOU TO STOP WITH THE WHOLE --

>> THE PEOPLE MADE THE DECISION ON THEIR OWN.

>> JUST SAY YES, WE'RE BETTER OFF, SURE, WHY NOT.

ARE WE?

YES, OF COURSE.

YOUR NUANCE REASONING IS GOING INTO THE OCTAGON AGAIN.

>> HI, I'M CHUCK NORRIS.

[LAUGHTER]

>> IS HE GOING TO YELL AT THE OTTOMAN.

>> OUR GREAT COUNTRY AND FREEDOM IS UNDER ATTACK.

OUR COUNTRY AS WE KNOW IT MAY BE LOST FOREVER IF WE DON'T CHANGE

THE COURSE OUR COUNTRY'S HEADED.

WE CAN NO LONGER SIT QUIETLY OR STAND ON THE SIDELINES AND WATCH OUR COUNTRY GO THE WAY OF

SOCIALISM OR SOMETHING MUCH WORSE.

>> WE WILL PRE SERVE FOR OUR CHILDREN THIS LAST BEST HOPE OF MAN ON EARTH OR WE WILL TAKE THE

FIRST STEP INTO A THOUSAND YEARS OF DARKNESS.

[LAUGHTER]

[LAUGHTER]

[APPLAUSE]

>> I MAY NOT AGREE WITH THE STATE OF THE COUNTRY IS QUITE THAT FAR.

[LAUGHTER]

I JUST THINK THEY PITCHED THE PERFECT PREMISE FOR AN OFTEN CHUCK NORRIS COME BACK.

THIS IS AMERICA AND A THOUSAND YEARS OF DARKNESS.

[LAUGHTER]

AS THAT MAN IS 72.

[LAUGHTER]

CHUCK NORRIS IS TEXAS RANGER.

[APPLAUSE]

DEMOCRATS, DEMOCRATS, HOW DO YOU GET CAUGHT FLAT-FOOTED ON THE BETTER OFF QUESTION.

IT'S THE MOST IMPORTANT QUESTION AN INCUMBENT HAS FACED SINCE ONALD REAGAN LAID OUT JIMMYR

CARTER IN 1980.

ARE YOU BETTER OFF THAN YOU WERE FOUR YEARS AGO.

THE ANSWER TO THAT QUESTION IS WE HAVE AND WE WILL ONLY BE BETTER OFF UNDER THE LEADERSHIP

OF RONALD REAGAN.

IT'S ALL THERE.

[LAUGHTER]

FOR GOD'S SAKE DEMOCRATS,.

DO YOU EVEN REMEMBER, DO YOU EVEN REMEMBER OBAMA USED TO BE THE CHALLENGER?

I DON'T QUOTE RONALD REAGAN THAT OFTEN, BUT LET ME ASK YOU TO SIMPLE QUESTION, ARE YOU BETTER

OFF THAN YOU WERE FOUR YEARS AGO.

[LAUGHTER]

DID I HAVE MEETINGS.

[LAUGHTER]

DO YOU KNOW, HE DIDN'T SEE IT COMING FOR THE WEEKEND NEWS SHOW.

FINE, NOTHING MATTERS.

JUST TAKE HIM AGAIN.

[LAUGHTER]

AND OH WHAT A DIFFERENCE A GOOD NIGHT'S SLEEP CAN MAKE.

>> ARE WE BETTER OFF TODAY THAN WE WERE FOUR YEARS AGO WHEN PRESIDENT OBAMA WAS ELECTED.

ABSOLUTELY.

>> WE ARE CLEARLY BETTER OFF AS A COUNTRY BECAUSE WE'RE NOT

CREATING JOBS RATHER THAN LOSING THEM.

>> Jon: OH, BETTER OFF.

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