Gaywatch - Red Weddings

  • Aired:  01/16/14
  •  | Views: 46,686

Gay marriage sort of goes forward in Utah and Oklahoma, and Jason Jones questions Jon's grasp of post-Newtonian physics. (5:49)

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]>> Jon: WELCOME BACK.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]MARRIAGE EQUALITY SEEMS

TO BEGAINING TRACTION IN EVEN THE

REDDEST OF RED STATES.

WE TAKE A LOOK AT A SPECIALEDITION OF -- GAYWATCH

[LAUGHTER][CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

SOME PEOPLE HAVE PAY CABLE.

FIRST UP, BIG NONOSMOND NEWS OUT OF UTAH.

>> WEDDING BELLS FOR SAME SEXCOUPLES IN UTAH.

A FEDERAL JUDGE STRUCK DOWN THESAME-SEX MARRIAGE BAN DECLARING

IT UNCONSTITUTIONAL THERE BYLEGALIZING GAY UNIONS IN THAT

STATE.

>> Jon: WOOO!

WOOO!

WOOO!

CHEERS TO YOU, UTAH, FINALLY ALLTHOSE CLEAN CUT YOUNG MEN IN

SHORT SLEEVE SHIRTS WE SEEPAIRED UP HERE IN NEW YORK CITY

CAN GO HOME AND GET MARRIED.

>> THE SUPREME COURT HAS PUT ASTOP TO SAME-SEX MARRIAGES IN

UTAH.

[ LAUGHTER ]>> Jon: OH, THOSE POOR BOYS.

>> THE JUSTICE DEPARTMENT HASJUST ANNOUNCED THAT THE FEDERAL

GOVERNMENT WILL RECOGNIZE SAMESEX MARRIAGES PERFORMED FOR A

SHORT TIME IN UTAH.

DOES IT CLEAR UP ANY OF THECONFUSION?

>> IT REALLY DOESN'T.

IT'S ON HOLD IN UTAH.

UTAH IS NOT RECOGNIZING THEMARRIAGES.

[LAUGHTER]>> Jon: HOORAY IT'S BACK ON

KIND OF.

HERE COMES THE BRIDES BUT ONLYFOR FEDERAL TAX PURPOSES.

[ LAUGHTER ]OTHERWISE IT'S JUST SHARON AND

HER ROOMMATE.

[ LAUGHTER ]>> HOW RIDICULOUS IT IS IN THIS

COUNTRY THAT YOU CAN BE AMARRIED COUPLE ONE MONTH AND

THEN THE NEXT MONTH HAVE IT BECOMPLETELY ANNULLED.

>> Jon: THE WHOLE THING ISRIDICULOUS.

I'LL TELL YOU ONE THING YOU HAVETO FIGURE THIS OUT, UTAH BECAUSE

THESE COUPLES ARE SIMULTANEOUSLYCONSIDERED MARRIED AND

UNMARRIED.

A SHRODINGER'S COUPLE IF YOUWILL. SHRODINGER'S COUPLE, IF

YOU WILL.

>> NO, I WON'T JON.

>> Jon: JASON I'M TRYING TODO A HEADLINE HERE.

>> OH COOL. IS IT A HEADLINE ONHOW YOU

FUNDAMENTALLY MISUNDERSTOODSHRODINGER'S THEORY?

>> Jon: WHAT ARE YOU TALKINGABOUT?

>> WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

>> OBVIOUSLY THERE ARE CERTAINRHETORICAL SIMILARITIES BUT A

LEGAL DISACCORDANCE IS HARDLYANALOGOUS TO QUANTUM

INDETERMINECY.

>> Jon: I DIDN'T REALIZE YOUHAD SUCH A FLUENCY IN POST

NEWTONIAN PHYSICS.

>> PERHAPS NEXT TIME YOU WON'TBE SO CAVALIER IN YOUR

ASSUMPTIONS ABOUT ME.

NOW IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME I SEEMTO HAVE GOTTEN MY PENIS STUCK

INSIDE THIS CANTALOUPE.

[ LAUGHTER ]-- MY MEANOUS STUCK INSIDE

THIS -- PENIS STUCK INSIDE THISCANTALOUPE.

[ LAUGHTER ]>> Jon: ALL RIGHT.

EITHER THAT OR YOU HAVE ATERRIBLE MOSQUITO BITE.

THANK YOU VERY MUCH JASON.

[ LAUGHTER ][ APPLAUSE ]

ALL RIGHT.

THE OLD QUANTUM PHYSICS AND IGOT MY [BLEEP] STUCK IN

SOME FRUITGAG.

MOVING ON, OKLAHOMA, IF UTAH ISA DEEP CLARET, OKLAHOMA IS

A SLIGHTLY LITTER VERMILION.

SOMETIMES I NAME COLORS FOR THEJ CREW CATALOGUE.

>> A FEDERAL JUDGE RULES THATOKLAHOMA'S BAN ON MARRIAGE

EQUALITY WASUNCONSTITUTIONAL

>> Jon: IF THAT KEEPSGOING

SOMEONE WILL WRITE A MUSICALABOUT THAT PLACE. THIS DECISION

CAME IN PART BECAUSE OF COUPLESLIKE SHARON BALDWIN AND MARY

BISHOP,TWO OF THE PLAINTIFFS WHO

SUED TO OVERTURN THE BAN.

>> YOU ARE BOTH JOURNALISTS.

GIVE ME A HEADLINE ON THISSTORY.

YOU FIRST, SHARON.

>> ECSTASY.

>> Jon: WOW.

YOU KNOW I THINK THE ONLY THINGYTHAT ANGERS CONSERVATIVES MORE

THAN A LESBIAN COUPLESUING FOR MARRIAGE EQUALITY IS A

LESBIAN COUPLE OF JOURNALISTSSUING FOR MARRIAGE EQUALITY.S

IT'S AN EMOTIONAL ISSUE, ONEPEOPLE HAVE SENSITIVE FEELINGS

ABOUT. WHO BETTER TOADDRESS IT THAN TEXAS

CONGRESSMAN LOUIE GOHMERT.

>> THE SUPREME COURT DIDN'T SEEANY BIOLOGICAL EVIDENCE TO

SUPPORT MARRIAGE BEING BETWEEN AMAN AND A WOMAN AND THEY NEED

SOME BASIC PLUMBING LESSONS.

>> Jon: YEAH, MAN, PLUMBING,RIGHT.

[LAUGHTER]YOU ARE RIGHT LOUIE WE HAVE TO

MODEL ALL SEXUAL RELATIONSHIPSON PLUMBING WHERE THE ONLY

ACCEPTABLE MATCH IS A MALEPIPE TO A FEMALE FITTING UNLESS

OF COURSE YOU HAVE A MALE TOMALE CONNECTION OR FEMALE TO

FEMALE CONNECTION ORA COUPLING BETWEEN TWO MALES OF

DIFFERENT SIZESAND ONE FEMALE.

AI WOULDN'T WOULDN'T RECOMMENDIT,

JON, YOU'LL NEVER GET IT OFF.

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