Zach Galifianakis

  • Aired:  11/01/10
  •  | Views: 110,355

Zach Galifianakis remembers hitchhiking with a couple guys in handcuffs and saying hi to Jon with marker on his face. (6:09)

MY GUEST TONIGHT VERY FUNNY

ACTOR AND COMEDIAN.

HIS NEXT FILM IS "DUE DATE."

>> WHAT BROUGHT TO YOU ATLANTA?

>> MY DADDY DIED.

I WENT TO ATLANTA TO GO TO HIS

FUNERAL.

HE MOTIVATED KNOW GO ON TV.

>> I HAVE A FRIEND IN THE

INDUSTRY.

>> DOES HE WORK ON TWO AND A

HALF MEN?

>> NO.

>> THAT'S TOO BAD BECAUSE THAT'S

THE REASON I WANTED TO BECOME AN

ACTOR.

ESPECIALLY THE SECOND SEASON.

>> WHY DO YOU HAVE THIS?

>> BECAUSE THIS IS MY DADDY.

THESE ARE HIS ASHES.

>> WHY ARE HIS ASHES HERE?

>> BECAUSE HE'S DEAD, PETER.

>> Jon: PLEASE WELCOME ZACH

GALIFIANAKIS.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

NICE TO SEE YOU.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

>> THANK YOU.

>> Jon: I LIKE YOUR ACTING.

I'M ALWAYS IMPRESSED WHEN

COMEDIANS ARE ALSO GOOD ACTORS.

>> ME, TOO.

[LAUGHTER]

WHY DO YOU SAY THAT?

>> Jon: BECAUSE COMEDIANS

SPEND SO MUCH TIME CRAFTING A

PERSONA FOR OURSELVES ON STAGE

TO BE ABLE TO INHABIT SOMEONE

ELSE FEELS SO ALIEN.

I CAN DO MYSELF 108% ANGRIER OR

SADDER.

YOU CAN DO A WIDE VARIETY.

IT'S IMPRESSIVE.

>> NICE OF YOU TO SAY.

THAT WAS GOOD ACTING.

>> Jon: I WAS BEING SINCERE.

>> OKAY, GOOD.

>> Jon: SON OF A GUN.

[LAUGHTER]

HAVE YOU EVER DONE THESE TIP

TYPES OF ROAD TRIPS WITH

FRIENDS?

ARE YOU A ROAD TRIP --

>> I REASON IS CROSS COUNTRY A

COUPLE OF TIMES.

I USED TO HITCH HIKE WHEN I WAS

YOUNGER AND I USED TO CARRY A

SIGN THAT SAYS, "I DON'T HAVE A

GUN."

AND PEOPLE WOULD JUST PICK ME UP

BECAUSE THEY LIKED THE SIGN.

[LAUGHTER]

ON THE OTHER SIDE IT SAID, "I'M

JUST KIDDING."

ONCE I GOT IN.

I ACTUALLY GOT INTO A COUPLE OF

CARS THAT I FELT AN AMBER ALERT

NEEDED TO HAPPEN.

[LAUGHTER]

>> Jon: REALLY?

>> SOME PEOPLE THAT WERE A HAND

ON THE THIGH WHAT DOES THAT

MEAN?

>> Jon: COULD BE A COMFORTING

GESTURE.

>> THERE WERE A COUPLE

SITUATIONS WHERE I GOT INTO --

>> Jon: HOW OLD WERE YOU?

>> FOUR.

[LAUGHTER]

NO.

I WAS -- I WAS IN COLLEGE.

>> Jon: YOU ARE NOT AN OLD MAN

SO THIS WAS THE NOOINT OR

LATE -- 90s OR LATE 80s.

>> IT WAS THE EARLY 90s.

>> Jon: WE LEARNED IN THE

70s NOT TO DO THAT.

>> RIGHT, YEAH, EXACTLY.

>> Jon: I GUESS A DECADE

PASSED --

>> I WAS TRYING TO BRING IT

BACK.

THAT AND MOONING.

NOBODY MOONS ANYMORE EITHER.

>> Jon: HULA HOOPS, MOONING,

STREAKING.

WOULD YOU DO IT BY YOURSELF?

WOULD YOU HAVE FRIENDS.

>> I DID IT WITH A COUPLE GUYS

AND HANDCUFFS.

>> Jon: IT WAS A ROAD GROUP.

>> EXACTLY.

I DIDN'T HAVE A CAR A LOT OF

TIMES AND THAT'S HOW I WOULD

SOMETIMES TAKE LONG TRIPS.

>> Jon: LISTEN THAT'S FAIR.

I WOULD DO THAT OCCASIONALLY.

BUT THAT WAS LATE 70s?

>> YOU WEREN'T LATE STPHEFPBTS

STPHEFPBTS -- 70s?

NO.

>> Jon: ARE YOU -- WHAT?

[LAUGHTER]

YOU DON'T --

[LAUGHTER]

I REMEMBER -- I MET YOU, YOU

WERE A YOUNG RENEGADE.

[LAUGHTER]

I DON'T EVEN REMEMBER -- YOU

WERE A YOUNG THUG.

>> IN THE COMOM I DID CIRCUIT --

COMEDY CIRCUIT.

I MET YOU, I WOULD SAY THIS THE

MID TO LATE 90s.

>> Jon: MMMMM HMMMM.

[LAUGHTER]

I WAS FEELING YOUR THIGH, YES,

YES.

GO ON.

[LAUGHTER]

>> I MET YOU -- I WAS -- I GOT

HIRED -- I DON'T KNOW IF YOU'LL

RECALL.

I GOT HIRED TO DO STAND UP WHEN

I WAS FIRST STARTING.

FIRST PAID GIG IN THE CITY TO DO

STAND UP FOR FOUR YEAR OLDS.

IT'S TRUE.

THIS IS TRUE.

>> Jon: THAT'S NOT TRUE.

>> IT'S TOTALLY TRUE.

>> Jon: FOR FOUR YEAR OLDS?

>> FOUR FOUR YEAR OLDS.

THE WOMAN PAID ME $50.

I STOOD ON A FOOT LOCKER AND I

TOLD JOKES TO FOUR YEAR OLDS.

>> Jon: PWAOGER JOKES?

DBOOGER JOKES?

>> I REMEMBER ONE, HAVE YOU EVER

HAD A HAPPY MEAL?

THEY SHOULD CALL IT AN UNHAPPY

MEAL.

IT WORKS, TRUST ME.

IT WORKS ON THE PRESCHOOL

CIRCUIT.

>> Jon: HOW DID I COME INTO

THIS?

WAS I THE PRESCHOOL CLOSER?

>> THIS IS WHAT HAPPENED.

SO I RAN OUT OF MATERIAL.

THERE WERE PERMANENT MARKERS

NEARBY.

PERMANENT MARKERS.

I HAD MORE MATERIAL BUT I DIDN'T

HAVE MORE JOKES SO I INVITED THE

CHILDREN, 20 OF THEM TO WRITE ON

MY FACE.

SO I DID.

I GOT MY $50.

I'M LEAVING, THE WOMAN NAMED

WENDY SAYS THERE'S SOMEBODY

HERE -- THAT WANTS TO SAY HI TO

YOU.

YOU LIVED ACROSS THE HALLWAY.

WE MET BRIEFLY ONCE BEFORE

AND -- I STILL HAVE ALL THE

MARKER STUFF ON MY FACE AND YOU

SAID HEY, ZACH, HOW ARE YOU

DOING?

HOW IS YOUR CAREER GOING?

[LAUGHTER]

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

ALL TRUE AND I LOOKED AT THE

GROUND AND I WENT PRETTY WELL.

ALL TRUE.

[LAUGHTER]

>> Jon: I'M SO TEMPTED NOW TO

WRITE YOU ARE DOING GREAT.

"DUE DATE" IS OUT ON FRIDAY.

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