Canada High - A Heritage of Crack

  • Aired:  05/21/13
  •  | Views: 52,004

In response to Toronto Mayor Rob Ford's scandal, Samantha Bee and Jason Jones identify Canada's two largest national industries: crack production and blow jobs for crack. (3:22)

CRACK.

IT COULD BE CRACK, I GUESS.

FOR MORE WE TURN TO OUR

SENIOR CANADIAN

CORRESPONDENT SAMANTHA BEE

AND JASON JONES.

THEY JOIN USNOW FROM

TORONTO.

SAM, THANKS FOR-- SAM.

>> YES.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

SAM, IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE

AWE AND JASON, WHERE IS

JASON.

>> OH, HE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

HE'S JUST BUYING SOME CRACK.

>> Jon: WAIT, JASON, CRACK.

>> YEAH, HE'S CANADIAN!

JON, WE ALL DO IT, SMOKING

CRACK IS ONE OF CANADA'S

MOST CHERISHED PASTIMES.

>> Jon: SO --

>> SORRY I'M LATE.

I WAS JUST BUYING SOME

CRACK.

(LAUGHTER)

IT'S ONE OF CANADA'S MOST

CHERISHED PASTIMES.

>> I ALREADY SAID THAT.

>> SORRY ABOUT THAT, I'M

JUST WHACKED OUT OF MY MIND

ON CRACK.

>> Jon: JASON, THAT'S AN

AWFUL LOT OF CRACK YOU'VE

GOT THERE.

>> WELL, I'VE GOT THREE KIDS

AT HOME, JON.

AND THEY ALL SMOKE CRACK.

>> Jon: I'M-- MY MINE IS

BLOWN HERE, YOU KNOW.

ITS CANADIAN PAST TIME I

THINK OF CANADA I THINK OF

POLITENESS AND CLEAN STREETS

AND --

>> WELL, SURE, JON, IT'S ALL

OF THAT ON THE SURFACE.

>> AND JUST UNDER THAT

SURFACE IS A THICK LAYER OF

CRACK.

>> YEAH.

>> JON, CANADA IS NOT LIKE

THE POSTCARDS YOU BUY AT

NIAGARA FALL, IT'S LIKE THE

POSTCARDS YOU BUY FROM THE

GUY IN TORONTO WHOSE [BLEEP]

YOU SUCK FOR CRACK.

>> Jon: WHAT?

YOU ARE ON-- YOU ARE ON

TELEVISION, SO YOU-- YOU

GUYS HAVE TO [BLEEP] FOR

CRACK?

>> UH, YEAH, YEAH, SURE, WE

HAVE TO.

(LAUGHTER)

>> JON, WHY DO YOU THINK

THEY ONLY SELL ALCOHOL AT

GOVERNMENT RUN DISPENSARIS.

CAN WANT-- WE CAN'T BE

TRUSTED WITH ANYTHING.

IT'S LIKE THAT OLD FRENCH

CANADIAN SAYING, S'IL EST

DANS LA MAISON.

>> IF IT'S IN THE HOUSE.

>> NOUS IL FUMEE.

>> WE WILL SMOKE IT.

>> APRES BEE COUP DEGRANDE

BLOW JOBS.

>> YOU CAN PROBABLY

TRANSLATE THAT ONE YOURSELF.

>> Jon: WHOA, WHOA, WHOA,

WHOA, JASON!

JAYSON, STOP THAT, ARE YOU

SMOKING CRACK RIGHT NOW?

>> IT'S 6 A.M. SOMEWHERE.

>> OH MY GOD, JON, ARE YOU

JUDGING US?

THIS IS OUR NATIONAL LETTER

TAJ.

NOT TO MENTION THE DRIVER OF

OUR ECONOMY.

CAN GA'S LARGE-- CANADA'S

LARGEST NATIONAL INDUSTRY IS

CRACK PRODUCTION.

AND OUR SECOND LARGEST

INDUSTRY IS GIVING BLOW JOBS

FOR CRACK!

>> Jon: THIS SIN SANE.

I MEAN IT'S LIKE CANADA IS

THAT FRIEND YOU HAVE IN HIGH

SCHOOL THAT ALL YOUR PARENTS

LOVE THEM BECAUSE HE'S SO

POLITE AND CALLS EVERYBODY

MR. AND MRS. S BUT YOU FIND

OUT HE IS A DATE RAPEST WITH

A ROOFY --

>> WLOE, EASY, WE ARE NOT A

NATION OF DATE RAPISTS.

WE ARE A NATION OF BLOW JOB

BESTOWING CRACK AFFICIONADOES.

BY THE WAY, YOU GOT ANY

CRACK, I'LL BLOW YOU FOR IT?

>> Jon: JASON, YOU HAVE A

WOL BACK!

>> OH, RIGHT, JEEZ, I FORGOT,

FORGOT ABOUT THIS.

IT'S THE CRACK.

IT REALLY [BLEEP] WITH YOUR

HEAD.

YOU WANT A HIT OF THIS?

>> IS THE-- THE CAPITAL OF

NUNAVUTT.

GIVE ME THE [BLEEP] CRACK,

GIVE ME --

>> ALL RIGHT.

>> Jon: SAMANTHA BEE AND

JASON JONES, EVERYBODY,

WE'L

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