Fantastic Mrs. Fox

  • Aired:  06/17/13
  •  | Views: 122,191

Sarah Palin returns to Fox News and forces America into a difficult choice. (3:15)

COMEDY CENTRAL

>> John: WELCOME TO THE "DAILY

SHOW."

WELCOME.

I AM JOHN OLIVER, JON STEWART

STILL NOT HERE.

HE IS AT HOME RECOVERING THERE A

STATE-OF-THE-ART PROCEDURE IN

WHICH HE SWITCHED FACES WITH

NICHOLAS CAGE.

( LAUGHTER )

THEY TOOK HIS FACE OFF.

MY GUEST TONIGHT FROM "MAD MEN,"

LINDA CARDELLINI IS HERE.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ).

BUT FIRST, FIRST TONIGHT, I AND

THE REST OF AMERICA WOKE UP THIS

MORNING IN THE WORST WAY

IMAGINABLE.

>> GOVERNOR, WELCOME BACK TO THE

CHANNEL.

>> THANK YOU.

I GET TO BE HERE THE ENTIRE

HOUR.

>> John: WELL, WELL, WELL.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

WELL, WELL, WELL.

LOOK WHAT THE FOX DRAGGED IN

( LAUGHTER )

SARAH PALIN HAS BEEN HIRED BACK

BY FOX NEWS, AND SHE ONLY LEFT

FIVE MONTHS AGO.

SHE'S NOW EFFECTIVELY QUIT

QUITTING.

( LAUGHTER )

SHE CAN'T EVEN COMMIT TO BEING

UNCOMMITTED.

BUT, YOU KNOW, YOU KNOW WHAT?

LET'S BE FAIR TO HER.

PEOPLE DO CHANGE.

WHAT ARE YOU UP TO?

>> I AM DOING GREAT, WRITING A

BOOK, A BOOK ABOUT CHRISTMAS,

AND PUSHING BACK ON THE

POLITICALLY CORRECT WHO WOULD

TRY TO TAKE CHRIST OUT OF

CHRISTMAS.

DO NEW YORKERS FEEL LIKE YOU'RE

JUST A BUNCH OF LITTLE BABIES

WITH THANK GOODNESS YOU GOT THIS

NANNY.

YOU JUST PUT THE B.S. IN CBS.

WITH BENGHAZI, THE GOVERNMENT

LIED AND PEOPLE DIED.

GOVERNMENT LIED AND GOVERNMENT

SPIED.

>> John: OKAY, DR. SEUSS.

( LAUGHTER )

BY THE WAY, THAT LITTLE RHYME IS

FROM ONE OF SARAH'S KIDS' BOOKS,

"ALL THE PLACES YOU'LL LEAVE."

I JUST DON'T EVEN KNOW WHERE TO

BEGIN WITH HER.

I MEAN-- HOLD ON.

I THINK I'VE JUST REALIZED

SOMETHING.

( BLEEP ).

THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT SHE WANTS.

JUST BECAUSE I WALKED INTO A

SUPERMARKET DOESN'T MEAN I HAVE

TO BUY ANYTHING.

THIS IS BRINGS US TO OUR NEW

INCREDIBLY IMPORTANT SEGMENT.

"WAIT A SECOND.

WE CAN JUST IGNORE HER."

( LAUGHTER )

WE CAN DO THAT.

( CHEERS )

WE CAN ALL DO THAT.

THAT IS A POWER WE HAVE.

BECAUSE, YES, WE COULD SPEND THE

WHOLE SHOW JUXTAPOSING VIDEO

CLIPS TO DEMONSTRATE HOW SARAH

PALIN'S STRONGLY FELT

CONVICTIONS ARE NOTHING MORE

THAN SELF-CONTRADICTORY

NONSENSE.

OR WE CAN JUST IGNORE HER.

YES!

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

WE CAN RESPOND TO HER OBVIOUS

TROLLING WITH A SERIES OF

INSULTING JOKES, AND MAYBE

TOGETHER ENJOY A BRIEF MOMENT OF

CATHARSIS, OR WE CAN JUST

( BLEEP ) IGNOG HER.

I PROMISE, AMERICA, IT WILL FEEL

SO GOOD.

IT WILL BE LIKE WE GIVE OUR

BRAINS AN ENEMA TOGETHER.

I'M NOT SAYING IT WILL BE EASY.

I MEAN, JUST LOOK AT HER.

SHE'S A TEMPTRESS.

( LAUGHTER )

OH, SARAH, IF ONLY IT WAS AS

EASY FOR US TO QUIT YOU AS IT IS

FOR YOU TO

Loading...