Good/BadFellas

  • Aired:  10/29/13
  •  | Views: 116,645

The news networks are there to let you know that whether you look at an issue from the right or from the left, those are the only two ways you can look at it. (6:49)

WELCOME TO "THE DAILY SHOW".

I'M JON STEWART.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]I CAN AT LEAST DRAW LIKE A NICE

CHARACTER.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT IS --JUST SCRIBBLES.

CONGRESSWOMAN AND DNC CHAIRDEBBIE WASSERMAN SCHULTZ WILL BE

JOINING USMS CHANCES ARE WE'LLTALK ABOUT NSA SPY, HEALTH CARE,

THE GOVERNMENTSHUTDOWN.

WE'LL TALK ABOUT THE JONASBROTHERS BREAKING UP.

HOW COULD YOU DO IT AGAIN YOKO?

HAVEN'T YOU DONE ENOUGH?

WHY?

[LAUGHTER]THEY ARE SO --

EAH, I I WAS PRIZED WHEN I FOUNDTHEY THEY ARE -- I WAS SURPRISED

WHEN THEY FOUND OUT THEY WERETOGETHER, TOO.

THIS IS WHY THE NEWS NETWORKSSERVE SUCH AN IMPORTANT PURPOSE.

ALL THOSE ISSUES ARE COMPLEX ANDWE LIE ON THE NEWS NETWORKS TO

PROVIDE CONTEXT, SUBSTANCE.

I'M JUST (bleep) WITH YOU.

[ LAUGHTER ]THE NEWS NETWORKS ARE THERE TO

LET YOU KNOW THAT WHETHER YOULOOK AT AN ISSUE FROM THE RIGHT

OR FROM THE LEFT, THOSE ARE THEONLY TWO WAYS YOU CAN LOOK AT

IT.

[ LAUGHTER ]NOT ANYMORE.

RECENTLY, YEAH --[LAUGHTER]

-- CNN HAS MOVED BEYOND THISSIMPLISTIC PARTISAN WORLD VIEW

TO A SIMPLISTIC-IER ONE.

>> THE ALL IMPORTANT U.S. RUSSIASUMMIT OVER SYRIA ISN'T ENDING

WHEN WE THOUGHT IT WOULD S. THATA GOOD THING OR BAD THING?

>> ONE OF THE MOST HISTORICNEWSPAPERS, "THE WASHINGTON

POST" IS CHANGING HANDS, A GOODTHING OR BAD THING?

>> Jon: GOOD THING OR BADTHING?

LET'S GO TO THE ANALYST FLIPPYTHE COIN.

[ LAUGHTER ]WHAT DO YOU SAY FLIPPY?

[LAUGHTER]BAD!

WHAT ARE THEDIEDE ODDS.

BEAUTIFUL THING ABOUT GOOD SLASHBAD IS LIKE BEIGE IT GOES WITH

EVERYTHING N. AN EQUALLYUNSATISFYING MANNER, LEGAL

STORIES.

>> JODY ARIAS ON THE WITNESSSTAND FOR 18 STRAIGHT DAYS.

IS IT A GOOD THING OR A BADTHING?

>> Jon: MY GUESS IS FOR 18DAYS SHE DIDN'T GET TO KILL

ANYBODY ELSE.

[ LAUGHTER ]I'M GOING TO GO WITH GOOD THING.

REMEMBER THAT COMPLICATED STORYABOUT JP MORGAN TAKE OVER

WASHINGTON MUTUAL AND BEARSTERNS?

WATCH IT BECOME A LOT LESSCOMPLICATED.

>> SOMEBODY NEEDED TO DOSOMETHING TO PREVENT A SYSTEMIC

BREATHDOWN -- BREAKDOWN AND JPMORGAN TOOK OVER THOSE BANKS

JUST LIKE WELLS FARGO -->> CAN YOU JUST SAY IS THAT A

GOOD THING OR A BAD THING?

[LAUGHTER]>> Jon: AND MAKE IT SNAPPY,

NERD!

[LAUGHTER]WE DON'T HAVE ALL DAY.

WELL, ACTUALLY WE DO LITERALLYHAVE ALL DAY 24 HOURS 7 DAYS A

WEEK.

BUT STILL GOOD OR BAD!

AND WEAR A TIE!

[LAUGHTER]NOW WATCH WOLF BLITZER.

TAKE AN ANALYST MAKING A NUANCEDARGUMENT ABOUT THE BALANCE IN

THIS COUNTRY BETWEEN LIBERTY ANDSECURITY.

WATCH BLITZER TAKE THIS CAT TO JSCHOOL.

>> AFTER 9/11 I THINK THEAMERICAN PEOPLE GAVE THE

EXECUTIVE BRANCH EXTRAORDINARYLEEWAY TO SORT OF KEEP.

>> IS THAT GOOD OR SPHWHAD.

>> THINK ULTIMATELY IT'S A GOODTHING.

>> Jon: IT'S JUST NOT -- GOODOR SPHWHAD CAN'T BELIEVE THIS

DUDE LET HIMSELF GET BLITZED SOQUICKLY.

LET'S MICHEL BACHMAN SHOW YOUHOW IT'S DONE IN THE TIMELY

AFFORDABLE CARE ACT.

>> LET'S GO THROUGH THE POINTSTELL ME IF IT'S GOOD OR BAD.

IS IT GOOD OR BAD THAT CHILDRENCAN BE ON THEIR PARENTS HEALTH

INSURANCE POLICIES UNTIL THEYREACH 26.

>> THESE ARE BIFTZ DONE NOW.

>> BUT THAT'S PART OF OBAMACARES. THAT GOOD OR BAD?

-- IS THAT GOOD OR BAD?

[LAUGHTER]>> Jon: WUFT WANT TO MAKE THIS

CLEAR -- JUST WANT TO MAKE THISCLEAR, THAT'S MICHEL IMICHELLE I

THINK VACCINES GIVE YOU BRAINDAMAGE BACHMAN BEING TOLD BY

WOLF BLITZER TO DUMB IT DOWN.

THAT'S NOT THE GAME.

PLAYING GOOD OR BAD.

GOOD OR BAD SHALL MICHELE.

GOOD OR BAD!

THIS IS NO ANCHOR VERBAL TICK.

IT EXTENTS ACROSS THE NETWORK.

>> PRESIDENT OBAMA'S REQUEST FORA GREEN LIGHT TO STRIKE SYRIA

ADDS A WHOLE NEW DIMENSION TOTHE STRAINED RELATIONSHIP WITH

CONGRESS.

LET ME START WITH YOU, DAVID,GOOD THING, BAD THING?

>> Jon: SHOULD WE ATTACK SYRIAGOOD OR BAD, GO!

IT'S LIKE THE WORD WENT OUT FROMCNN HQ.

LOOK NOBODY WATCHES THIS NETWORKUNLESS THEY ARE IN THE AIRPORT

OR GOING SOMEWHERE SO 86 THEPROFESSOR TALK AND LET THE

PEOPLE KNOW ASK THIS STORY GO INTHE HAPPY BAG OR SAD BAG.

EMOTICON ME, CHOP CHOP!

THESE PEOPLE HAVE PLANES TOCATCH.

EVERYBODY PLAY AS LONG, EVERYEXCEPT CAROL COS TELLO , THE

REBEL.

WATCH AS SHE LETS US KNOW THATTHE RABBIT HOLE OOZE AN EXIT.

>> OBAMACARE THE FINAL SHOWDOWN.

THE IS U.S. SUPREME COURT COULDSTRIKE IT DOWN TODAY OR RULE IT

UNS CONSTITUTIONAL.

-- UNCONSTITUTIONAL S. THAT GOODOR BAD?

IT ALL DEPENDS.

THE NFL STRIKES A DEAL WITHTHOUSANDS OF PLAYERS.

GOOD THING?

BAD THING?

SOME IN THE MID SNL.

>> Jon: WHAT IS THIS MIDDLEYOU SPEAK OF AND WHERE BE IT?

BE THE MIDDLE BEYOND THE REALMOF THE CRAIKEN RING SUPREME?

OR PERHAPS IS A LAND DOWN BELOWWHERE BILBO BAGINS SCRIBBLES IN

HIS REDBOOK AND ALL THE ELFS BESURPRISINGINGLY (bleep).

[ LAUGHTER ]AM I ALONE ON THAT?

I THOUGHT THE ELFS WEREUNBELIEVABLE ATTRACTIVE.

YOU HAVE THE ORK, NAH, THE

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