Quadrennial Corporate-Sponsored International Ring-Based Sports Event

  • Aired:  07/30/12
  •  | Views: 68,686

NBC supplants the London Olympics' memorial tribute to subway bombing victims with an interview between the world's two most overexposed mammals. (3:44)

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

>> Jon: HEY, WELCOME TO THE DAILY SHOW.

BOOM!

MY NAME IS JON STEWART.

WE GOT ONE FOR YOU TONIGHT.

RASHIDA JONES IS GOING TO BE JOINING US.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) YOU THINK I'M LYING.

I'M NOT LYING.

FOLKS CONTINUATION HAS BEGUN.

THE FIRST TRIPLE X OLYMPICS.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

>> Jon: I'M BEING TOLD THAT'S THE 30th OLYMPICS.

(LAUGHTER) YOU SURE IT'S NOT TRIPLE X.

HAVE YOU SEEN THE BEACH VOLLEYBALL?

YOU HAVE SEEN IT?

SOMEONE HAS SAND IN THEIR BUTT.

(LAUGHTER) YOU REMEMBER THE BEIJING OPENING CEREMONIES, WHERE A TRIBUTE TO WHAT MONOLITHIC

STATE CONTROL CAN ACCOMPLISH.

LIKE THE SUMMONING OF A THOUSAND, 100,000 DRUMMERS TO BEAT OUT, WE WILL DEFEAT

NEW SYNCHRONIZED MORSE CODE.

WELL, THE LONDON OLYMPICS SEIZE YOUR AUTOCRATIC PERFECTION AND RAISES YOU THE POWER OF FREEDOM.

FROM GIANT GHOST BABIES TO A TRIBUTE TO THE FLYING BICYCLE, FROM KENNETH

BRANAGH'S SMUG APPROVAL TO MR. BEAN'S DEVASTATINGLY ENTERTAINING TOTAL INCOMPETENCE.

OH, BEAN, YOU SHOULD BE FIRED.

THE U.K. PAINTED WITH ALL OF FREEDOM'S COLORS INCLUDING THE QUEEN OF DANGER, DOUBLE

O, OH NO YOU-- GERONIMOOOOOOOO BASE HILARIOUS IS THE HEAD WHO WEARS THE CROWN.

IT WAS AN INCREDIBLE, CHEEKY AT TIMES, POIGNANT SPECTACLE.

(LAUGHTER) VERY MOVING.

EXCEPT, OF COURSE, FOR THE AMERICAN AUDIENCE.

>> NBC EDITING OUT OF THE OPENING CEREMONIESING A TRIBUTE, A DANCE TRIBUTE TO

THE VICTIMS OF THE 77 LONDON SUBWAY BOMBINGS AND INSTEAD RAN A RYAN SEECREST INTERVIEW WITH SWIMMER

MICHAEL PHELPS.

>> Jon: AND WHEN WILL THE HONOR THE VICTIMS OF THAT?

(LAUGHTER) ARE YOU-- KIDDING?

>> NBC, THE NETWORK THAT SO COMMEMORATE 9/11 ACTUALLY RE100-- RERUNS 9/11, YOU

WOULDN'T AIR A SIX MINUTE TRIBUTE TO THE REST OF THE WORLD TERRORIST VICTIMS.

BECAUSE THE WORLD'S MOST OVEREXPOSED LAND BASE MAMMAL HAD A CHANCE TO SPEAK TO THE

WORLD'S MOST OVEREXPOSED WATER BASED MAMMAL.

WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?

>> NBC SPORTS ISSUED THIS STATEMENT SAYING OUR PROGRAM IS TAILORED FOR THE U.S.

TELEVISION AUDIENCE.

>> Jon: YOU'RE NBC.

YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO TAILOR TELEVISION FOR AN AMERICAN AUDIENCE.

NBC SLAM!

SLAM!

(LAUGHTER) RANDOMLY [BLEEP] THREE SHOWS.

TAKE THAT, THOSE SHOWS.

SERIOUSLY, MAN F EVERYTHING IN THE OLYMPICS HAD TO BE AN AMERICAN AUDIENCE WHY NOT GUAL THE WAY.

INSTEAD OF A PARADE OF NATIONS, 99% OF WHICH AREN'T AMERICAN, DON'T BOTHER

SHOWING US ALL 200 COUNTRIES.

JUST GIVE US, I DON'T KNOW,

THE ALL LEBRON PARADE!

(LAUGHTER) INSTEAD OF JUST DOUBLE O 7 PICKING UP THE QUEEN Y NOT HAVE RAMBO STORM THE PLACE

AND PICK UP SOME AMERICAN

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