Mess O'Potamia - 2014 Edition

  • Aired:  06/12/14
  •  | Views: 130,101

Two years after U.S. troops left Iraq, militant extremists sweep through the country, seizing American military equipment along the way. (6:17)

>> Jon: WELCOME TO "THE DAILYSHOW."

MY NAME IS JON STEWART.

WE PREPARED A PROGRAM FOR YOUTHIS EVENING, VERY EXCITING.

TONIGHT'S GUEST, CHRISTOPHERWALKEN WHO IS GOING TO BE

JOINING US. HE'S IN A NEW MOVIECALLED "JERSEY BOYS."

"JERSEY BOYS," THE STORY OFFOUR YOUNG MEN WHO ACHIEVED

SUCCESS DESPITE THE REALLY THETERRIBLE DISADVANTAGE

OF BEING FROM NEW JERSEY.

[LAUGHTER]WE DO THE BEST WE CAN.

BUT FIRST, REMEMBER THAT COUNTRYWE INVADED A LITTLE WHILE BACK.

THAT WAS, NO, NO, THAT WAS TOOFAR BACK.

NO, NO, THAT WAS... NO, THAT WASA SHADOW COUP.

THAT WASN'T AN INVASION.

THAT WAS A POLICE ACTION.

THAT WAS A GIANT STEP FOR ALLMANKIND.

I'M TALKING ABOUT IRAQ.

THAT'S THE ROCK.

THAT'S... THANK YOU.

IRAQ.

REMEMBER?

WE INVADED IT BECAUSE 9/11 ANDWEAPONS AND THEN WE HAD TO

PRETEND THAT WE WERE REALLYTRYING BRING DEMOCRACY AND

STABILITY TO THE MIDDLE EAST.

I MEAN, DON'T REMEMBER WHATHAPPENED OVER THERE, BUT I

GUESS HISTORY WILL BE THE JUDGE.

>> IN IRAQ WHERE AMERICAN TROOPSLEFT MORE THAN TWO YEARS AGO,

INSURGENTS ARE MAKING A COMEBACKTHIS MORNING.

THE COUNTRY'S SECOND LARGESTCITY, MOSUL, IS UNDER CONTROL OF

MILITANTS.

>> Jon: WHOA.

SLOW DOWN, JUDGE HISTORY.

I CAN'T BELIEVE THE MILITANTSTOOK MOSUL, TWO MILLION PEOPLE.

WELL, THOSE REBELS ARE GOING TOHAVE THEIR HANDS FULL TRYING

CORRAL THAT TOWN.

>> TIKRIT, THAT'S SADDAM'SHOMETOWN, GONE.

THE EXTREMISTS CONTROL THAT.

>> Jon: HOLY [BLEEPED].

TIKRIT, TOO, THEY TOOK TIKRIT?

TIKRIT AND MOSUL, THE TWINCITIES, AS NO ONE THERE CALLS

THEM.

[LAUGHTER]ALTHOUGH NOW I THINK THE

MILITANTS WILL PROBABLYCONSOLIDATE THEIR GAINS, FORTIFY

THEIR POSITION RESEARCH SCHOOLSFOR THEIR KIDS MAYBE.

>> THE MILITANTS ARE ADVANCINGTOWARDS IRAQ'S CAPITAL OF

BAGHDAD.

>> Jon: WHAT THE [BLEEPED] ISGOING ON OVER THERE.

HOW ARE THE MILITANTS MOVING SOQUICKLY?

IS IT... EZ PASS.

[LAUGHTER]AND WE BROUGHT THAT THERE.

[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]NO.

DON'T CHEER FOR THE MILITANTS.

I DIDN'T THINK WE'D HAVE DO THISANYMORE.

WELL, LOOKS LIKE WE'RE GOING TOHAVE TO RETURN TO OUR OLD

COVERAGE.

LET ME JUST GET THIS OUT THERE.

LET ME JUST GET... LET ME GETIT.

THERE WE GO.

[LAUGHTER]MESS 'O POTAMIA COVERAGE IS

BACK.

[APPLAUSE]SO WHO ARE THESE MILITANT

OVERACHIEVERS?

>> THE MILITANTS BELONG TO THEISLAMIC STATE OF IRAQ AND SYRIA

OR I.S.I.S.

>> THEIR AMBITION IS TO CREATE AMUSLIM CALIFATE, A SINGLE

ISLAM STATE.

>> THEIR LEADER, ABU BAKRAL-BAGHDADI.

>> 44 YEARS OLD, WAS A HIGHLYREGARDED PROFESSOR, HAS A

MASTER'S DEGREE AND Ph.D. INISLAMIC STUDIES FROM THE

UNIVERSITY OF BAGHDAD.

>> Jon: OH, DID YOU HEAR THAT,LADIES?

HE'S A DOCTOR.

[LAUGHTER]A BRUTAL DOCTOR.

GUESS WE SHOULD HAVE BEEN TIPPEDOFF BY HIS Ph.D. DISSERTATION.

[LAUGHTER]SO TECHNICALLY HE'S

DR. AL-BAGHDADI.

WHAT ELSE DO WE KNOW ABOUT THISGUY?

>> SOME ANALYSTS CALL HIM THEWORLD'S MOST POWERFUL JIHADI

LEADER.

HE'S ALSO SAID TO BE MOREVIOLENT AND MORE ANTI-AMERICAN

THAN OSAMA BIN LADEN EVER WAS.

>> Jon: OKAY.

OKAY.

MORE VIOLENT?

FINE.

BUT REALLY?

MORE ANTI-AMERICAN THANBIN LADEN?

COME ON.

GUY'S AT THE TOP OF THEANTI-AMERICAN... SO,

YOU'RE TELLING ME IF AL-BAGHDADIAND BIN LADEN ARE HAVING AN

ARGUMENT ABOUT AMERICA, BINLADEN IS THE ONE GOING, NO,

LOOK, I HATE THEM TOO, I'M JUSTSAYING.

[LAUGHTER]NOBODY DOES A THEME PARK LIKE

THE AMERICANS.

[LAUGHTER]THERE'S A REASON IT'S NOT CALLED

"THE GREAT AFGHANI SCREAMMACHINE."

WELL, EITHER WAY, DOESN'TMATTER, BECAUSE NEWS FLASH

MOTHER [BLEEPED], YOU MAY HAVEAN INTERNATIONAL TERRORIST

MILITIA HEADED BY A REAL-LIFESUPERVILLAIN, BUT IRAQ HAS

SOMETHING EVEN BETTER.

>> THE UNITED STATES SPENT $17BILLION TO HELP TRAIN AND EQUIP

IRAQI SECURITY FORCES.

>> Jon: AMERICA, [BLEEPED]YEAH!

THAT'S RIGHT.

[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]THE AMERICA-TRAINED,

AMERICA-FUNDED, BAD-ASS,BUTT-KICKING IRAQI SECURITY

FORCES. LOOKS LIKETHE ISIS MILITANTS

ARE ABOUT TO ENTERTHE HURT LOCKER.

>> THE IRAQI FORCESTHAT WERE TRAINED BY THE U.S.,

THEY JUST SIMPLY RAN.

>> STRIPPING THEIR UNIFORMS,LEAVING THEM IN THE STREETS, AND

ABANDONING THEIR POSTS, WEAPONSAND VEHICLES.

[LAUGHTER]>> Jon: DID I SAY HURT LOCKER?

I MEANT THE LOCKER WHERE YOUKEEP THE UNIFORMS AND OTHER

STUFF YOU DISCARD WHILE YOU'RERUNNING AWAY. BY THE WAY,

WHAT HAPPENED TO ALL THE STUFFWE PROBABLY LEFT OVER THERE?

>> THE TERRORIST GROUP OVERRAN AMILITARY BASE.

AMERICANS SUPPLIED HUMVEES,WEAPONS AND AMMUNITION.

NOW IN THEIR HANDS.

>> Jon: HA!

JOKES ON YOU, WE HAD FAILED TOPROPERLY UP-ARMOR MANY OF THOSE

VEHICLES.

GOTCHA.

IS THERE ANY GOOD NEWS TO REPORTHERE?

>> THE IRAQI GOVERNMENT IS NOWREACHING OUT FOR HELP, ASKING

THE U.S. MILITARY TO FLY COMBATMISSIONS, DRONES, PROVIDE

INTELLIGENCE TO REVERSE THISADVANCE FROM THIS GROUP.

>> Jon: YES!

WE DID IT!

WE FINALLY GOT IT SO THAT IRAQWILL NOW GREET US AS LIBERATORS.

[LAUGHTER]WAY TO GO, EVERYBODY. [BLEEPED]

Loading...