Talker, Texas Deranger & Scared Speechless

  • Aired:  10/24/11
  •  | Views: 101,389

Rick Perry picks up the flameless birther torch, and Eric Cantor cancels his income inequality speech. (2:57)

>> Jon: WELCOME TO THE DAILY

SHOW.

MY NAME IS JON STEWART.

MY GUEST TONIGHT IS A GOOD

ONE.

HERE'S WHAT WE'VE GOT GOING.

MY GUEST TONIGHT IS KEVIN

CLASH, BETTER KNOWN AS THE

VOICE OF ELMO AND YES I DO

PLAN ON TICKLING HIM.

SO I SPENT THE WEEKEND

WATCHING A LITTLE FOOTBALL,

BASEBALL, HAVING SOME SNACKS.

YOU KNOW WHY?

BECAUSE YOU KNOW WHAT I WAS

OCCUPYING THIS WEEKEND?

ME STREET.

I WAS OUT, I'M A LITTLE OVERLY

THEATRICAL AS WELL.

IT'S BEEN A BORING NEWS

WEEKEND.

DID I MISS ANYTHING.

>> RICK PERRY.

>> AFGHANISTAN.

>> HERMAN CAIN'S BIZARRE....

>> McRIBS.

>> Jon: ONE AT A TIME.

ONE AT A TIME.

>> TEXAS GOVERNOR RICK PERRY

BROUGHT THE ISSUE OVER THE

PRESIDENT'S BIRTH CERTIFICATE

BACK IN THE HEADLINES IN AN

INTERVIEW WITH PARADE

MAGAZINE.

>> PERRY SUGGESTED HE WENT

QUITE SURE IF THE PRESIDENT'S

BIRTH CERTIFICATE WAS LEGIT.

>> Jon: DIDN'T THAT BOAT SAIL

LAST SPRING?

APPARENTLY RICK PERRY, SEEN

HERE ON THE COVER OF PARADE

MAGAZINE, SUGGESTED...

SUGGESTIVELY OFFERING THE

NATION HIS NIPPLE.

"HEY, AMERICA, HEY, AMERICA.

ARE YOU HUNGRY?"

"ARE YOU HUNGRY?

DO YOU WANT TO SUCKAL?"

"THAT'S GOOD TEAT RIGHT THERE.

SUCK ON A GOOD BARBECUE

SAUCE."

PERRY HAS PICKED UP THE TORCH

EVEN DONALD TRUMP DROPPED SIX

MONTHS AGO THAT SUGGESTS

PERHAPS NONE OF US HAVE SEEN

THE PRESIDENT'S REAL BIRTH

CERTIFICATE.

THIS REPRESENTS PROGRESS.

RIGHT NOW HE'S ONLY SIX MONTHS

BEHIND THE NATIONAL

CONVERSATION.

BUT HIS N-WORD FAMILY HUNTING

GROUND WAS LIKE 150 YEARS

BEHIND.

SO IN MANY WAYS PERRY IS

ACTUALLY GAINING TIME.

NORMALLY PERRY GOES BIRTHER,

NO TIME.

>> HOUSE MAJORITY LEADER ERIC

CANTOR WAS SUPPOSED TO PEEK AT

PEN WHARTON SCHOOL OF

BUSINESS.

>> BUT HIS OFFICE CANCELED THE

APPEARANCE AFTER LEARNING 300

SEATS WOULD BE OPEN TO THE

PUBLIC.

>> Jon: OH, THE PUBLIC.

HEAVENS TO BETSY, WELL, I

NEVER.

I'M SORRY.

I'M SORRY.

HOLD ON.

I'M SORRY.

SORRY.

I MEANT TO SAY YOU SOUND LIKE

A... SERIOUSLY YOU'RE GOING TO

GIVE A SPEECH ABOUT INCOME

INEQUALITY BUT YOU CANCEL IT?

I GUESS TO ERIC CANTOR 300

EMPTY SEATS FEELS LIKE THIS.

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