Endless Suffrage 2012 - Of Vice and Men

  • Aired:  04/23/12
  •  | Views: 76,103

Republican vice-presidential contenders Marco Rubio, Condoleezza Rice and Jeb Bush deny interest in becoming Mitt Romney's 2012 running mate. (4:27)

>> Jon: WELCOME TO THE DAILY SHOW, MY NAME IS JON STEWART.

GOODS SHOW TONIGHT.

OUR GUEST TONIGHT, BEN RATTRAY OF THE ON-LINE PETITION WEB SITE CHANGE.ORG,

OR AS IT IS ALSO KNOWN, YES,

THERE IS ALREADY A PETITION TO LEGALIZE POT.ORG.

ALL RIGHT.

(LAUGHTER) DON'T EVEN BOTHER.

WE BEGIN OF COURSE WITH OUR ONGOING COVERAGE OF ENDLESS SUFFRAGE 2012.

AS YOU UNDOUBTEDLY KNOW BY NOW THE REPUBLICAN NOMINEE FOR PRESIDENT WILL BE ONE

SIR HITTINGTON OF ROMFORD MANOR.

(LAUGHTER) 8 MONTHS OF FAKE NAMES.

GOING TO BE A LONG YEAR.

SO ATTENTION MOVES NOW WHO WILL COMPLETE THE BUMPER STICK THEIR WILL SOON

PLASTERED ON AMERICA'S GUN RACKS.

(LAUGHTER) OVER THE FADING McCAIN PALIN BUMPER STICKER.

OBVIOUSLY THE VICE PRESIDENTIAL NOMINATION AN ENORMOUS HONOR.

POLITICIANS ARE CLAMOURING TO --.

>> IF HE ASKED TO YOU BE VICE PRESIDENT.

>> I WOULD SAY NO.

>> THAT IS AN ABSOLUTES NO.

>> I WOULD SAY THANK YOU,

BUT NO.

>> Jon: ALL RIGHT, THAT'S FINE.

SHE IS A SITTING GOVERNOR,

BUT WHAT ABOUT PAWLENTY, TWO TERMS, FORMER MINNESOTA GOVERNOR, HE'S NOT DOING ANYTHING.

>> THE ANSWER IS O I'M NOT GOING TO BE CONSIDERING THAT AND I HAVE TAKEN MYSELF OFF

THE LIST.

>> Jon: OKAY, ALL RIGHT,

THAT'S FICHBLT YOU DON'T NEED TO BE ON THE LIST.

THEY DON'T WANT YOU.

THAT IS OLD SCHOOL.

>> HOW MANY WAYS CAN I SAY T NOT ME.

(LAUGHTER)

>> Jon: YOU COULD SAY IT ♪ NOT ME ♪ ♪ NOTA MEA, I'M NOTA GONEA

DO IT.

A LOT OF WAYS YOU CAN GET OUT OF IT.

YOU COULD SAY I DON'T KNOW O I SUPPORT A WOMAN'S RIGHT TO CHOOSE, THAT WILL GET YOU

OUT OF IT.

LOOK, DENYING INTEREST-- (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

>> Jon: I THOUGHT SOMEBODY COOL JUST WALKED OUT.

LOOK, DENYING INTEREST IN BEING THE VICE PRESIDENT IS PRO FORMA IN POLITICS.

EVERYBODY DOES IT BUT THE TONE THAT THESE FOLKS ARE USING.

NOT ME!

IT IS WHAT YOU SAY WHEN SOMEONE SHOUTS WHO WANTS FREE TICKET TO ITS PUPPET REE OF THE PENIS.

(LAUGHTER) BY THE WAY, THE GUY UNDERNEATH THERE, YOU THINK THAT IS A GUY TLARX IS HIS

SCROTUM THAT IS HOW GOOD THEY ARE.

THAT IS HOW GOOD THEY ARE IN THIS SHOW.

(LAUGHTER) I'M TAKING MYSELF OFF THE LIST.

COME ON PAWLENTY THAT IS WHAT YOU TELL A TELEMARKETER WHO CALLS YOU DURING DINNER,

AND THANK YOU BUT NO THAT IS HOW RICH PEOPLE TURN DOWN FINGER FOOD.

(LAUGHTER) PLEASE, A YALE MAN DOESN'T EAT MINIQUICHE.

IF ARE YOU GOING TO PASS ON THE JOB, AT LEAST RECOMMEND SOMEONE ELSE TO FILL IT.

>> YOU'VE GOT A LOT OF REALLY TALENTED PEOPLE OUT THERE THAT MITT ROMNEY IS

GOING TO GET TO PICK FROM I THINK A LOT OF THEM, SENATOR ROB PORTMAN WOULD BE

PHENOMENAL CHOICE FOR VICE PRESIDENT.

>> Jon: THAT DOES T THAT IS ALL RIGHT.

MARCO RUBBIO SAYS ROB PORTMAN IS YOUR GUY.

I DON'T FLOW WHO THAT IS.

(LAUGHTER)

>> LET'S SEE WHAT HE HAS TO SAY ABOUT IT.

>> ROMNEY PORTMAN.

>> I THINK RUBIO HAS A BETTER RING.

(LAUGHTER)

>> Jon: WHY DOES BEING ROMNEY'S VICE PRESIDENT NOW SEEMS LIKE A DARE NOBODY

WANTS TO TAKE.

EAT A PLATE OF MY OWN

[BLEEP] BLOOEP.

>> NO NO YOU EAT IT.

HERE COMES THE PEER PRESSURE.

>> I THINK MARCO WOULD BE AMONG MANY GREAT CANDIDATE FORCE VICE PRESIDENT.

I THINK MARCO'S PROBABLY THE BEST.

>> Jon: RUBIO PASSES TO PORTMAN, PORTMAN BACK TO RUBIO, BUSH ALSO PACKS BACK

TO RUBIO, RUBIO IN THE LANE HE IS DRIVING, HE IS STANDING FLEX TO THE BASKET AND --

>> THAT IS VERY NICE OF JEB,

I HOPE HE'LL SAY YES IF THE FUTURE PRESIDENT ROMNEY ASKS HIM.

>> I THINK HE WOULD BE A FANTASTIC VICE PRESIDENT.

>> Jon: PASSES BACK TO BUSH!

DOESN'T ANYBODY WANT THE ROCK IN CRUNCH TIME.

>> IF YOUR CELL PHONE RANG BECAUSE MITT ROMNEY HAS YOUR NUMBER AND SAID HERMAN, I

NEED YOUR HELP.

>> I WOULD SAY LET'S TALK.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

>> Jon: HERMAN CAIN, WITH THE ALLEY-OOP, SLAM-DUNK.

>> IT'S NOT A SLAM-DUNK.

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