Ricky Gervais

  • Aired:  04/11/12
  •  | Views: 69,748

Comedian Ricky Gervais relates his friend Karl Pilkington's thoughts on Anne Frank and the crucifixion of Jesus. (5:41)

>> Jon, WELCOME BACK.

MY GUEST TONIGHT, THE "RICKY GERVAIS" SHOW RETURNS APRIL 20.

>>20.

>> .

>> BADGERS.

WHENEVER YOU SEE THEM, YOU SAW THEM WANDERING ABOUT THE ROADSIDE, THEY'RE ON THE ROAD.

THEY'RE NOT--

>> WHAT THEY DOING?

>> I DON'T KNOW.

MOST OF THE TIME THEY'RE DEAD.

( LAUGHTER ).

I'VE SEEN MORE DEAD BADGERS THAN A LIVE ONE.

I'VE NEVER SEEN A LIVE BADGER.

>> THAT'S WHY THEY'RE, ONE,

ALONE, AND, TWO, GETTING ON WITH IT.

>> THEY START OUT WITH SOME KIND OF POETIX ANALOGY.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT WAS.

>> OH, GOD.

>> Jon: WELCOME BACK TO THE SHOW RICKY GERVAIS ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) HOW ARE YOU?

>> GOOD.

>> Jon: YOU KNOW, WHEN YOU WERE ON THE SHOW LAST WEEK-- LAW ( LAUGHTER )

YOU'RE LIKE OUR WEEKLY GUEST.

YOU COME ON WEEKLY TO REGALE US WITH ANIMAL HUSBANDRY STORIES.

>> THAT WENT VIRAL.

>> Jon: I'M SURE IT WOULD.

I'M SURE THERE ARE ALL KINDS OF INFECTIONS.

HOW DO YOU EVEN-- WHEN DO YOU SLOW DOWN?

WHEN THIS DTHIS SHOW COME ABOUT?

YOU YOU HAVE THIS OTHER SHOW--

>> I CREATED THIS SHOW BECAUSE I WANTED TO SHARE CARL WITH THE WORLD.

>> Jon: HE'S A GENIUS.

>> HE'S NOT LIKE US.

>> Jon: NO!

>> HE'S NOT LIKE OTHER-- YOU-- YOU'RE INTELLECTUAL.

WE KNOW THAT.

>> Jon: WHAT?

OKAY.

DID YOU SEE THE PIECE WE JUST DID?

( LAUGHTER )

>> WHEREAS CARL IS THE MISSING LINK, WHICH I-- HE-- HE DOESN'T UNDERSTAND THE WORLD.

THIS IS A MAN, THIS IS A MAN WHO GENUINELY THOUGHT THAT ANNE FRANK WAS JUST AVOIDING PAYING RENT.

( LAUGHTER ) I SAID, "WHAT DO YOU MEAN?" HE SAID, "I THOUGHT SHE WAS A SQUATTER.

I THOUGHT SHE WAS LIKE--" HE SAID, "I KNEW SHE LIVED IN THE CUBBARD.

BUT I THOUGHT IT WAS TO KEEP AWAY FROM THE LANDLORD." HAD TO EXPLAIN THE LANDLORD IN

THIS SITUATION WERE THE NAZIS.

>> Jon: ASK CARL REALLY THINK A WHOLE INDUSTRY WOULD CROP UP OVER SOMEONE WHO WAS

HIDING FROM A LANDLORD?

IT DOESN'T-- WHY WOULD WE STILL KNOW ABOUT IT?

WHY WOULD THERE BE MOVIES?

>> I DIDN'T KNOW HOW FAR BACK I HAD TO GO AND EXPLAIN ABOUT THE WAR AND NAZIS.

AND JUST THE FACT THAT SHE WAS HIDING.

I'VE BEEN TO ANNE FRANK'S HOUSE IN AMSTERDAM AND IT'S TINY.

SO I DON'T KNOW WHY THEY DIDN'T FIND HER EARLIER TO BE HONEST ( LAUGHTER )

NO, IT'S TERRIBLE.

BUT NAUGHTIES MUST BE STUPID.

REALLY?

EVERY DAY THEY WENT IN.

DIDN'T ONE OF THEM SAY, "CAN WE LOOK UPSTAIRS TODAY, SERGEANT?" I MEAN --

>> SHE DIDN'T LIVE IN A NAZI'S HOUSE.

>> NO, BUT THEY WERE LOOKING FOR HER --

>> BUT THEY DIDN'T COME IN EVERY DAY AND GO-- YOU SHOULD READ THE BOOK.

IT'S NOT WHAT YOU'RE--

>> THAT'S WHAT I MEAN.

SHE HAD TIME TO WRITE A BOOK!

WHAT'S THAT TAPPING.

MOVE ON, IT'S JUST MICE.

I CAN HEAR SOMETHING.

IT'S RIDICULOUS.

>> Jon: THE NAZIS IN GENERAL DID NOT GO-- IT'S NOT LIKE HALLOWEEN, EVERY DAY THE

NAZIS CAME BY AND KNOCK AND GO,

"ANY JEWS TODAY?" SHE LIVED WITH A FAMILY THAT WAS HARBORING PEOPLE-- PEOPLE WOULD

HARBOR JEWISH PEOPLE AND PROTECT THEM, BUT THE NAZIS WOULDN'T DO,

LIKE, BED CHECKS.

>> SAY WHAT YOU WANT, BUT I THINK THE NAZIS ARE USELESS, AND THAT'S ALL I'M SAYING.

I DON'T THINK --

>> WELL, YOU'RE NOT GOING TO GET A LOT OF PUSH-BACK FROM ME ON THAT POINT.

IT'S MORE THE LOGISTICS OF WHAT HAPPENED.

IT WOULD BE LIKE JUST DESCRIBING OTHER THINGS THAT WAY, LIKE IN THE BIBLICAL.

YOU KNOW, WHAT THEY SHOULD HAVE DONE WITH JESUS IS JUST NOT PUT HIM UP ON THE WOOD.

THAT WAS THE TROUBLE.

YOU KNOW, IT'S MAYBE A CONTEXTUALIZING OF A HISTORICAL--

>> THIS WEEKEND, CARL, RIGHT, HE WAS DOING SOME BUILDING WORK

BECAUSE HE'S BUILDING HIS HOUSE,

AND HE NEEDED TO GET AN EMERGENCY BUILDER AND HE SAID I CAN'T FIND A-- I CAN'T FIND A CARPENTER.

AND I SAID IT'S GOOD FRIDAY.

AND HE SAID HOW DID JESUS EVER GET CRUCIFIED.

HE THOUGHT THEY MUST HAVE GONE,

"YEAH, CRUCIFIXION." "I'LL BE THERE." HE SAYS THINGS LIKE THAT ALL THE TIME.

>> Jon: HE THOUGHT ON GOOD FRIDAY, BECAUSE IT WAS GOOD FRIDAY, CARPENTERS WOULDN'T BE

WORKING SO YOU COULDN'T GET CRUCIFIED?

>> WELL, I DON'T KNOW-- GR HE THOUGHT TO ACTUALLY CRUITIFY SOMEBODY YOU HAD TO CALL A CARPENTER.

BECAUSE THE COMPLEX UTOF THE DESIGN--

>> YEAH, EXACTLY.

>> Jon: "HOW SHOULD WE NAIL THIS?" "I DON'T KNOW.

I'M NOT A CARPENTER."

>> NO WAY, NO WAY.

( APPLAUSE ) YOU CARRY IT.

>> Jon: I THINK PEOPLE ARE GOING TO BE COMING BACK SAYING,

"I LIKE IT WHEN THE OLD DAYS WHEN ALL THEY TALKED ABOUT WAS PANDA ( BLEEP ).

"THE RICKY GERVAIS SHOW" PREMIERES ON HBO APRIL 20 AT 9:00 P.M.

I GUESS I'LL SEE YOU NEXT WEEK.

RICKY GERVAIS,

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