Hillary Clinton Joins Twitter

  • Aired:  06/13/13
  •  | Views: 21,695

Jessica Williams offers Hillary Clinton five simple rules for growing her Twitter constituency. (4:53)

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ).

>> John: WELCOME BACK TO THE

SHOW.

EARLIER THIS WEEK, ONE OF

AMERICA'S MOST PROMINENT

POLITICIANS HAD SOME BIG NEWS.

>> SHE IS THE MOST TRAVELED

SECRETARY OF STATE IN U.S.

HISTORY, BUT THERE WAS ONE PLACE

HILLARY CLINTON HAD YET TO GO

UNTIL NOW.

>> John: THAT'S RIGHT, WE'RE

SHOOTING HER INTO ORBIT.

( LAUGHTER )

THIS SUMMER, HILLARY CLINTON IS

SECRETARY OF SPACE.

( LAUGHTER )

UNLESS, UNLESS IT'S SOMETHING

EVEN MORE UN-NEWSWORTHY.

>> HILLARY CLINTON HAS ARRIVED,

ON TWITTER.

>> CLINTON IS TAKING TWITTER BY

STORM.

THE FORPER SECRETARY OF STATE,

SENATOR, AND FIRST LADY ALSO

DESCRIBED HERSELF AS WIFE, MOM,

LAWYER, AND-- GET THIS-- HAIR

ICON AND PANTSUIT AFICIONADO.

MOST TELLING OF ALL IN CLINTON'S

TWITTER BIO, T.B.D.

>> John: OH!

T.B.D.

YOU BIG TEASE.

WHAT COULD YOU POSSIBLY BE

REFERRING TO?

IS IT PRESIDENT OR IS IT-- THERE

IS LITERALLY NOTHING ELSE.

FOR MORE WE'RE JOINED BY SENIOR

SOCIAL MEDIA CORRESPONDENT

JESSICA WILLIAMS.

JESSICA.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ).

CAN YOU PUT THE PHONE DOWN,

PLEASE?

>> OH, NO, NO.

I CAN DO BOTH.

>> John: SERIOUSLY, PUT IT

DOWN.

>> JON STEWART LETS ME TEXT AND

DO CHATS.

>> John: IF HILLARY IS RUNNING

IN 2016, HOW CAN TWITTER HELP

HER?

>> WELL, JOHN, TWIT SER A

MICROBLOGGING INTERNET SERVICE.

THINGS CALLED MOBILE DEVICES BY

YOUNG PEOPLE LIKE MYSELF--

>> John: JESS, JESS, JESS.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO THAT WHOLE

OLD MAN WITH ME.

I'M ONLY IN MY 30s.

>> EW!

THERE'S A 30s.

TWITTER LEFT POLITICS AND BUILT

A BRAND WITH THEIR CONSTITUENTS.

HILLARY HAS TO FOLLOW THESE FIVE

BASIC RULES.

RULE NUMBER ONE, DON'T TWEET

YOUR JUNK.

>> John: OKAY, OKAY-- OKAY-- I

DON'T THINK THAT RIL HILLRY

WOULD DO THAT.

>> IT'S STILL WORTH SAYING.

NOBODY THOUGHT A CONGRESSMAN WHO

WAS ALREADY A WALKING DICK JOKE

WOULD BE TWEETINGAISE PICTURE OF

HIS JUNK.

>> John: NO TWEETING JUNK.

THAT'S GOOD ADVICE.

WHAT'S NEXT?

>> RULE NUMBER TWO.

DON'T BE BORING.

HAVE YOU SEEN NEWT GINGRICH'S

TWITTER FEET.

>> UH, NO.

>> CHECK IT OUT AND BELIEVE ME,

THESE ARE ALL REAL TWEETS.

HE SPENDS HIS TIME TWEETING

ABOUT WELL-BEHAVED DOGS OR

RIDING THE ZOO'S HAIRY ARMADILLO

ARE VERY ACTIVE TODAY.

( LAUGHTER )

>> John: WHO GOES TO ROME AND

VISIT THE ZOO?

>> WHO GOES TO ROME!

>> John: GIVE ME ANOTHER ONE.

>> RULE NUMBER 3-- SERIOUSLY,

THOUGH, DON'T SQUEEZE THE JUNK.

>> John: YOU ALREADY SAID THAT

ONE.

>> TRUST ME, IT'S WORTH

REPEATING.

RULE NUMBER FOUR.

DON'T BE WEIRD, AND I'M LOOK AT

YOU SENATOR GRASSLEY.

HE'S TWEET CONFESSING TO KILLING

BAMBI SAYING, "FRED AND I HIT

DEER ON HIGHWAY.

ASSUME BEER DEAD."

-- I-- REALLY HOPE THAT BEAR'S

FAMILY DIDN'T HAVE TO FIEND OUT

ABOUT HIS DEATH THAT WAY.

>> YEEL NEVER KNOW.

RULE NUMBER 5-- HIGHLIGHT YOUR

SUPER POWERS BUT MAKE SURE TO

SET LIMITS.

LOOK AT CORY BOOKER.

LIKE WHEN THEY'RE IN THE

SNOWSTORM EVERYBODY COMPLAINED

ABOUT BEING SNOWED INSPECT.

YOU KNOW WHAT CORY BOOKER DID?

HE SHOWED UP WITH HIS SNOW

SHOVEL.

>> John: THAT'S PRETTY GOOD

POLITICAL OPTICS FOR HIM.

>> EXACTLY, BUT REMEMBER PART

TWO OF THE RULE, SET LIMITS.

THIS GUY ACTUALLY TWEETED TO

MAJOR BOOKER:

>> John: WOW!

TWITTER IS ROUGH.

>> OH, NO, DEFINITELY.

AND YOU KNOW WHAT, LET ME PUT IT

IN TERMS HILLARY CLINTON WOULD

UNDERSTAND.

HILLARY, GIRL, WITH BEING ON

TWITTER IS LIKE HAVING 100

BENGHAZI HEARINGS EVERY

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