Chatty Chatty Boom Boom - No Win for Obama

  • Aired:  11/12/13
  •  | Views: 55,126

Samantha Bee relays President Obama's desperation following a failure to curtail Iran's nuclear program and HealthCare.gov's tendency to punch its users in the d**k. (3:23)

[LAUGHTER]WHAT HAPPENED TO THE DEAL?

WHAT HAPPENED?

>> SECRETARY KERRY SAYS ANINTERIM DEAL ON IRAN'S NUCLEAR

PROGRAM WAS EXTREMELY CLOSE BUTIN THE END THE IRANIANS WALKED

AWAY.

>> Jon: IRANIANS WALKED AWAY.

SON OF A BITCH.

>> THAT DIDN'T SET WELL WITH THEIRANIAN COUNTERPART WHO FIRED

BACK A DIFFERENT VERSION OFEVENTS.

>> Jon: RUTHROH?

>> HE POINTED THE FINGER FIRMLYAT THE WEST.

MR. SECRETARY WAS IT IRAN THATGUTTED OVER HALF OF U.S. DRAFT

AND PUBLICLY COMMENTED AGAINSTIT FRIDAY MORNING.

>> Jon: HE TWEETED?

[LAUGHTER]WE HAVEN'T TALKED FOR 34

YEARS, WE GET TOGETHER AND YOUTWEET A BREAK UP.

THAT'S WHAT YOU DO?

TAKES A LOT OF BALLS.

THAT TAKES A LOT OF BALLS.

[ LAUGHTER ]DOESN'T THE TWEETING TAKE THE

GRAVITAS OUT OF IT, BY THE WAY?

YOU KNOW, THE LAMPS ARE GOINGOUT ALL OVER EUROPE, WE SHALL

NOT SEE THEM LIT AGAIN IN OURLIFETIMES, HE TWEETED.

[LAUGHTER]HASHTAG PERSERVERE.

FOR MORE ON THIS WE GO TOSAMANTHA BEE.

SAM, THANK YOU FOR JOINING US.

SAM, HOW IS THE OBAMAADMINISTRATION TAKING THIS

DIPLOMATIC SETBACK?

>> OH, THEY REALLY NEEDED THISONE, JON.

OBAMA JUST REALLY NEEDED A WIN.

>> Jon: IT'S BEEN A ROUGHCOUPLE MONTHS WITH THE

PRESIDENT.

>> THE WHOLE MESS WITH THE NSA,CONGRESS HOLDING UP HIS

APPOINTMENTS AND THEHISHEALTHCARE.GOV

ROLL OUT WAS PATHETIC.

>> Jon: NIGHTMARE.

>> A DISASTER STUFFED IN A TRAVESTY WRAPPED IN

INCOMPETENCE. THEY CALL THE A CLUSTER

(bleep) NOW THIS NEWTERHEALTHCARE.GOV

SOFTWARE GLITCH.

>> Jon: WHAT IS THAT?

>> WHEN YOU TRY TO SIGN UP FOROBAMACARE YOUR COMPUTER PUNCHES

YOU IN THE DICK.

[LAUGHTER]>> Jon: WHAT IF YOU DON'T

HAVE -->> IN YOUR DICK.

[ LAUGHTER ]I MEAN -- HOW DO YOU NOT THINK

ABOUT THAT WHEN YOU DESIGN A WEBSITE?

OBAMA JUST WANTS SOMETHING TO GORIGHT FOR A CHANGE.

HE IS SO DESPERATE FOR A WIN HEIS PLAYING CALL OF DUTY GHOSTS

ON EASY TO RACK UPACHIEVEMENTS. IT'S A PUNK MOVE.

>> Jon: IT IS A PUNK MOVE.

IT'S (bleep).

I WOULD NEVER DO THAT. I KNOW.

HIS STAFF IS TRYINGTO CHEER HIM UP.

THEY HAVE HIM ON THE WHITE HOUSEBASKETBALL COURT RIGHT NOW

TRYING TO BUILD UP HISCONFIDENCE.

>> Jon: DID THEY LOWER THE RIMFOR HIM?

>> YEAH, JUST A LITTLE.

>> Jon: I HOPE IT BRINGS BACKHIS --

>> SORRY, OH, BOY, A BIG BONEDGIRL IN A FLANNEL NIGHTGOWN JUST

GWON THE GAME WITH A TOMA HAWKSTDUNK. WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT,

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