White House M.D.

Aired:  07/23/09 Views: 116,321

President Obama holds a press conference to clarify his health care plan, but his response to the Henry Louis Gates Jr. arrest gets all of the attention. (8:51)

>> Jon: WELCOME, WELCOME,

WELCOME TO "THE DAILY SHOW".

MY NAME IS JON STEWART.

MY GUEST TONIGHT AUTHOR SALLY

JENKINS HAS WRITTEN A BOOK ABOUT

THE CIVIL WAR.

THE ONE THAT HAS ALREADY

HAPPENED NOT ONE OBVIOUSLY THAT

IS COMING.

THAT BOOK IS NOT OUT UNTIL 2012.

LET'S GET TO THE BIG STORY.

HEALTH CARE IS THE STORY ON THE

TIP OF EVERYONE'S TONGUE AND

THEY ARE NOT SURE IF THEY CAN

AFFORD TO GET THAT LOOKED AT.

BARACK OBAMA WOULD LIKE TO

REFORM HEALTH CARE BUT HE IS UP

AGAINST SOME OBSTACLES.

POWERFUL LOBBIES AGAINST REFORM.

A PLINT SPLINTERED DEMOCRATIC

PARTY.

A COUNTRY WITH NO MONEY AND A

REPUBLICAN MACHINE WHOSE

REPRESENTATIVES WHO CREATE SARI

LOOKING DISINGENUOUS HEALTH CARE

REFORM OP ART THAT SOMEHOW FINDS

ITS WAY TO FOX NEWS THAT IS

TREATED AS GOSPEL.

>> A FLOW CHART.

I CALL IT CANDYLAND.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS.

THAT'S A LOT OF CIRCLES.

SEE IF WE CAN GET THROUGH THE

GUM DROP MOUNTAINS TO YOUR

DOCTOR GO.

>> OVER HERE.

NOW I'M LOST.

DON'T KNOW WHERE I AM.

THE REPUBLICANS SAY WHAT IF YOU

STARTED WITH THE DOCTORS AND

WENT STRAIGHT TO THE CONSUMERS

YOU WOULD HAVE -- WOULD YOU HAVE

STRAIGHTFORWARD HEALTH CARE.

YOU WOULDN'T HAVE ALL OF THAT.

>> Jon: WOW.

THAT'S INCREDIBLY HONEST.

YOU COULD SPEND MONTHS MA

TICKOUSLY CONSTRUCTING A

MINIATURE CLIPPER SHIP OR DO THE

REPUBLICAN METHOD AND JUST ROLL

A DILDO IN GLITTER.

EITHER WAY YOU GOT YOURSELF A

CONVERSATION PIECE.

[ LAUGHTER ]

BY THE WAY, JUST TO POINT OUT,

ROLL A DILDO IN TKPWHREUTER IS A

COPY -- GLITTER IS A COPYWRITED

PHRASE FROM BRIAN WILLIAMS IN

NBC NIGHTLY NEWS.

WE'LL GET A CASE ON ANOTHER

NETWORK.

>> WE'RE JOINED BY BOB CASEY,

DEMOCRAT OF PENNSYLVANIA.

>> Jon: HERE WE GO A MEMBER OF

THE UPPER CHAMBER OF CONGRESS

AND THE BLITZ AND THE MAGIC

SCREEN.

LET'S DO THIS.

>> HERE ARE THE CONSUMERS OVER

HERE, ALL RIGHT.

THIS IS ME, I'M A CONSUMER.

OVER HERE IS THE FEDERAL

GOVERNMENT.

HERE IS THE GOVERNMENT OVER HERE

[ LAUGHTER ]

>> Jon: SO MAGIC FINGER MAN IS

THE CONSUMER AND HE WILL BE

TRYING TO SUCKEL FROM THE GIANT

UNITEET OF THE FEDERAL

GOVERNMENT.

SEEMS SIMPLE ENOUGH.

>> YOU ARE SAYING I CAN STILL DO

THIS WITH NO CONNECTION TO THIS.

>> YOU NEED TO GO THROUGH THE

SO-CALLED GATEWAY.

>> WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

>> ONCE YOU GET INTO THE GATEWAY

THEN YOU HAVE OFPGS OPTIONS HNCH

>> THIS IS THE GOVERNMENT

OFFICE.

>> IT'S NOT AN OPTION.

>> IT'S NOT AN OFFICE.

>> IF I CALL THEM ON THE PHONE,

WHAT AM I CALLING?

>> Jon: NAILED IT.

[ LAUGHTER ]

YOU KNOW WHAT?

TIME OUT.

TIME OUT.

(bleep) ALL THIS.

EVERYBODY CLEAR OUT.

LET'S GIVE THE BALL TO LEBRON

AND SEE WHAT HE CAN DO.

ON THREE, TEAM.

SO IT WAS THAT ONCE AGAIN LEBRON

HUSSEIN OBAMA HAD TO DRIVE THE

LANE HOPING FOR A MIRACLE FINISH

>> IF SOMEBODY TOLD YOU THAT

THERE'S A PLAN OUT THERE THAT IS

GUARANTEED TO DOUBLE YOUR HEALTH

CARE COSTS OVER THE NEXT TEN

YEARS.

GUARANTEED TO RESULT IN MORE

AMERICANS LOSING THEIR HEALTH

CARE AND THAT IS BY FAR THE

BIGGEST CONTRIBUTOR TO OUR

FEDERAL DEFICIT.

>> Jon: YOU ARE BLOWING IT!

THAT SOUNDS LIKE A TERRIBLE

PLAN.

>> WELL, THAT'S THE STATUS QUO.

THAT'S WHAT WE HAVE RIGHT NOW.

>> Jon: OH, A GET IT.

[ LAUGHTER ]

THE OLD SWITCHEROO.

TEACH ME SOMETHING TERRIBLE AND

LET ME KNOW THAT WHAT I ALREADY

HAVE.

HOW WOULD YOU LADIES LIKE TO

MEET A FELLA THAT IS 50 POUNDS

OVERWEIGHT AND SMELLS LIKE URINE

NAL CAKE.

ROLL OVER, YOU MARRIED HIM.

I'M PRIMED FOR THE HEALTH CARE.

HIT ME WITH THE DETAILS OF THE

NEW PLAN THAT IS GOING TO SAVE

OUR COUNTRY AND MY LIFE.

IF THERE'S A BLUE PILL AND A RED

PILL AND THE BLUE PILL IS HALF

THE PRICE OF THE RED PILL AND

WORKS JUST AS WELL.

IF YOU FOUND OUT THAT YOUR

NEIGHBOR HAD GOTTEN THE SAME CAR

FOR $6,000 LESS, YOU WOULD WANT

TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO GET THAT

DEAL.

AND THAT'S WHAT REFORM SAUL

ABOUT.

[ LAUGHTER ]

>> Jon: ENOUGH ANALOGIES.

I DON'T WANT TO KNOW WHAT MY

INSURANCE PREEM JUM LIKE.

WHAT IS MY DEDUCTIBLE?

IS GONE REA COVERED?

HOW ARE WE PAYING FOR THIS?

>> THE HOUSE SUGGESTED A

SURCHARGE ON WEALTHY AMERICANS.

TO ME THAT MEETS MY PRINCIPLE

THAT'S IT'S NOT P BEING

SHOULDERED BY FAMILIES WHO ARE

ALREADY HAVING A TOUGH TIME.

>> Jon: (bleep) THE RICH.

THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.

TAX THOSE MOTHER -- SORRY.

HOLD ON.

I AM.

[ LAUGHTER ]

REALLY.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

SO IT'S COMING FROM ME.

OKAY P. IF I'M TAXED, WOULDN'T I

LOSE MY INCENTIVE TO EXCEL?

BOTTOM LINE AT THE VERY LEAST

OBAMA WENT TO TELEVISION.

HE DID HIS BEST TOLL CLARIFY A

PRESSING ISSUE.

ALL RIGHT.

THAT'S IT FOLKS.

VAL LAYS FROM YOUR -- VALETS

HAVE YOUR CARS OUT FRONT.

IT'S OVER.

>> I TRIED TO MAKE IT SHORT AND

SWEET SO WE COULD GET THE LAST

QUESTION IN.

>> Jon: WHY NOT ROLL THE DICE

ONE MORE TIME.

>> RECENTLY PROFESSOR WAS

ARRESTED HAD THE HIS HOME IN

CAME CAMBRIDGE.

WHAT DOES THAT SAY TO YOU AND

ABOUT RACE RELATIONS IN AMERICA.

>> Jon: NOOOOOOOOOOOO!

DOOOON'TANNNNAWWWEEERRR THAT!

>> NOW, I DON'T KNOW NOT HAVING

BEEN THERE AND NOT SEEING ALL

THE FACTS WHAT ROLE RACE PLAYED

IN THAT, BUT I THINK IT'S FAIR

TO SAY --

>> Jon: THAT'S IT'S A

COMPLICATED ISSUE AND I DON'T

HAVE ANY COMMENT AT THIS TIME

BECAUSE I WASN'T THERE AND I

DON'T HAVE THE FACTS.

>> THE CAMBRIDGE POLICE ACTED

STUPIDLY.

(bleep).

>> Jon: I COULDN'T SAVE HIM.

I COULDN'T SAVE HIM!

NOW, I WASN'T AT THE PRESS

CONFERENCE LAST NIGHT.

I ALSO DON'T HAVE ALL THE FACTS

BUT I THINK IT'S FAIR TO SAY

OBAMA HANDLED THAT QUESTION D

OH, WHAT'S THE WORD I'M LOOKING

FOR?

STUPIDLY.

ALL RIGHT 56 MINUTES OF PRESS

CONFERENCE, 55 MINUTES AND 30

SECONDS ON HEALTH CARE, 30

SECONDS OF RACIAL CONTROVERSY, I

WONDER WHAT THE MEDIA WILL LEAD

WITH THE NEXT DAY.

LET'S GO TO THE WHEEL AND GIVE

IT A SPIN.

ROUND AND ROUND.

COME ON HEALTH CARE.

DADDY NEEDS A NEW HIP

REPLACEMENT.

(bleep) I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN

ALWAYS BET ON BLACK.

>> WELCOME THIS THURSDAY MORNING

>> PRESIDENT OBAMA'S NEWS

CONFERENCE LAST NIGHT MOSTLY

ABOUT HEALTH CARE BUT IT WAS THE

COMMENTS HE MADE ABOUT THE

ARREST OF AN AFRICAN-AMERICAN

HARVARD PROFESSOR LAST WEEK

GETTING A LOT OF ATTENTION.

THE TOPIC OF HEALTH CARE BUT IT

WAS THE QUESTION AT THE END OF

HOUR THAT HAS EVERYONE TALKING

THIS MORNING.

>> PRESIDENT OBAMA WAS ASKED

ABOUT HENRY LEWIS GATES.

>> DID HE REWRITE THE HEADLINES

THAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN BILLION

HEALTH CARE REFORM.

>> Jon: YES, HE WENT TOO FAR.

BUT I

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