The Best F#@king News Team Ever & The Election Speculometer

  • Aired:  11/06/13
  •  | Views: 37,656

The Best F#@king News Team Ever makes s**t up about the 2013 elections because there are no consequences for being wrong. (4:41)

SO CHRISTIE AND McAULIFFE,OBVIOUSLY THESE ELECTIONS WILL

HAVE SERIOUS RAMIFICATIONSFOR THE POLICIES OF

THESE TWO GREATSTATES, RAMIFICATIONS THAT

IMPACT REAL PEOPLE'S LIVES.

FOR MORE ON THE SUBSTANTIVEPOLICY EFFECT OF THESE

ELECTIONS, WE GO TO OURNEWS ANALYSIS. I'M JUST [BLEEP]

WITH YOU.

SET THE SPECULOMETER TOTHREE YEARS HENCE.

>> WHAT DOES THE NEW JERSEYRACE SAY ABOUT CHRIS

CHRISTIE'S PROSPECTS IN2016.

>> McAULIFFE CAMEOUT ON TOP, WHAT IT MEANS

FOR 2016.

>> WHAT DO THE RESULTS SAYABOUT THE TEA PARTY.

>> IF VIRGINIA IS IN PLAY,OHIO IS IN PLAY.

>> THIS WAS A GREAT NIGHTFOR THE DEMOCRATS.

>> NOT A GREAT NIGHT FORTHE TEA PARTY.

>> SHOULD CONSERVATIVES BENERVOUS.

>> IF VIRGINIA IS IN PLAY,FLORIDA IS IN PLAY.

WHAT DOES IT MEAN FOR TEDCRUZ'S CAMPAIGN? WHAT

COULD IT MEAN FOR POSSIBLEHILLARY CLINTON RUN?

>> THE DEFEAT AND WHAT THATMEANS FOR RUBIO.

>> 2013 TURNS INTO 2014, WEBEGIN TO THINK OF 2016.

>> Jon: TO INFINITY ANDBEYOND!

YOU KNOW WHAT, THE BEST[BLEEP] NEWS JOINS ME, BEST

NEWS TEAM FOR MORE ON LASTNIGHT'S ELECTION.

WITH US TONIGHT WE HAVE GOTSIR AASIF MANDVI, JASON

JONES ESQUIRE AND DR. ALMADRIGAL.

ONCE AGAIN THE MEDIA SPENDSMONTHS AND MONTHS

SPECULATING ON WHAT IS GOINGTO HAPPEN IN THIS ELECTION,

WHAT MIGHT HAPPEN IN THISELECTION.

THEN ON THE EVE OF THEELECTION THEY SPEND 10

MINUTES REPORTING ON WHATACTUALLY HAPPENED AND JUMP

RIGHT BACK INTO WHAT ITMEANS FOR THE NEXT ELECTION.

>> IT'S PATHETIC.

>> EMBARRASSING.

>> YEAH, [BLEEP] THOSEGUYS.

>> THEY WERE WAY OFF.

>> WAY OFF, THEY WERE-- .

>> Jon: WAIT, THEY WERE WAYOFF?

>> YES, THE MESSAGE OF THISELECTION IS CLEAR, TERRY

McAULIFFE'S WIN PROVES IN2016 DEMOCRATS WILL NOMINATE

TERRY McAULIFFE.

>> Jon: WAIT, TERRYMcAULIFFE? THAT IS IDIOTIC.

>> HE WON.

>> Jon: HE WON ONE ELECTION,THAT'S --

>> HOW DO YOU NOT GET THAT?

>> IT'S MATH, JON.

>> Jon: THIS ELECTION PROVESTHEN FOR THE REPUBLICANS

THAT CHRIS CHRISTIE WILL BETHE NOMINEE IN 2016, IS THAT

RIGHT.

>> JON-- (LAUGHTER)

>> SWEET, SWEET BRAINDAMAGED JON.

(LAUGHTER)LET ME MASH UP THIS NEWS AND

SPOON-FEED IT TO YOU.

BASED ON LAST NIGHT'SRESULTS WE CAN ABSOLUTELY

SEE THAT IN 2016 REPUBLICANVOTERS WILL WANT A TOUGH

TALKING NO-NONSENSE NON TEAPARTY NORTHEASTERNER WHO HAS

HAD LAP BAND SURGERY.

>> Jon: SO GOVERNOR CHRISTIE.

>> CHRISTIE, NO, OPEN YOUREARS, MAN.

THE NEXT PRESIDENT OF THEUNITED STATES IS REX RYAN.

A BLUE BLOODED NORTHERNER,A BIG SALTY PRESENCE AND HAS THE

FLUCTUATINGWEIGHT THAT AMERICA's

ELECTORATE IS CLEARLYCLAMOURING FOR AND HE PROVED

HE'S NOT AFRAID TO STAND UPTO THE RELIGIOUS RIGHT.

>> GREAT ANALYSIS RIGHTTHERE.

>> THANK YOU.

>> THIS IS-- AL, YOU AREBUYING THIS, YOU ARE BUYING

THIS?

>> NOT REALLY, JON.

FOR MY MONEY THE REALMESSAGE FROM YESTERDAY'S

ELECTION IS AMERICANS ARETHIRSTY FOR A

SPANISH-SPEAKING ITALIANAMERICAN SASQUATCH OF A MAN

IF AND I SAY THIS IF THEYARE ALSO MARRIED TO A FORMER

BLACK LESBIAN.

>> Jon: YOU MEAN A BLACKFORMER LESBIAN BECAUSE --

>> DO I?

CLEARLY SHE EXPERIMENTEDWITH BOTH AND STUCK WITH

ONE.

>> Jon: YOU KNOW, YOU GUYSARE GOING WAY OUT ON A LIMB

HERE.

>> I THINK IT'S SMARTPOLITICAL ANALYSIS.

>> SHREWD EXPERTISE.

>> MAKING UP [BLEEP]BECAUSE THERE'S NO

CONSEQUENCE FOR BEING WRONG(LAUGHTER)

>> Jon: SEE THAT'S MY POINT.

LET ME SHOW YOU SOMETHING.

THIS IS TRUE.

THESE ARE FROM THEIR PASTBIG ELECTORAL NIGHT

PREDICTIONS.

>> WHAT DOES 2010 MEAN FOR2012.

>> I TELL HOW THE VICEPRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE IS

GOING TO BE.

MARCO RUBIO, PRESIDENTIALNOMINEE.

>> SARAH PALIN.

>> I SAY HILLARY CLINTONABSOLUTELY HANDS DOWN, SHE'S

GOT THE MONEY.

>> I THINK THAT PERSON ISMIKE HUCKABEE.

>> MARCO RUBBIO 2012, VICEPRESIDENTIAL NOMINEE.

>> WHAT DOES THIS MEAN FOR2012.

>> SUBWAY SERIES, IT'S RUDYVERSUS HILLARY IN 2008.

>> YEAH, SO WHAT'S YOURPOINT.

>> Jon: THEY WERE ALLCOMPLETELY WRONG.

>> AND THEY ARE ALL STILL ONTV.

>> YEAH.

>> THAT'S RIGHT.

>> YEAH!

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)>> WHOOO!

>> AASIF MANDVI, JASON JONESAND AL MADRIGAL, EVERYBODY.

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