Bad Credit

  • Aired:  05/08/12
  •  | Views: 115,402

Instead of having to find reasons to criticize President Obama for things he's done right, Mitt Romney finds ways to claim those achievements as his own. (6:47)

>> Jon: WELCOME BACK TO THE SHOW!

I WOULD LIKE TO TALK ABOUT COGNITIVE DISSONANCE.

[ LAUGHTER ]

IT'S WHEN YOU HOLD TWO CONTRADICTORY IDEAS IN YOUR MIND AT THE SAME TIME.

LIKE I'VE BEEN ON FOOD STAMPS AND WELFARE, ANYBODY HELP ME OUT?

NO.

>> Jon: I WAS ON FOOD STAMPS AND WELFARE AND NOBODY HELPED ME.

[ LAUGHTER ]

PULLED HIMSELF UP BY HIS BOOT STRAPS WITH FOOD STAMPS AND WELFARE.

FOR MOST PEOPLE THESE IDEAS FIGHT LIKE TWO WRAPPED IN A BAG.

THEY'LL DRIVE YOU CRAZY BUT SOME PEOPLE ARE ABLE TO SQUARE THAT CIRCLE AND THOSE TWO OPPOSING

IDEAS END UP MAKE SWEET LOVE TO EACH OTHER.

LIKE TWO RATS IN A BAG.

THERE ARE VERY FEW THINGS,

REALLY VERY FEW THINGS RATS IN A BAG WON'T DO.

HERE IS ANOTHER ONE.

REPUBLICANS LIKE ALL AMERICANS WANTED VERY MUCH TO SEE OSAMA BIN LADEN DEAD.

AT THE SAME TIME THEY BELIEVE BARACK OBAMA SIN CAPABLE OF DOING -- IS INCAPABLE OF DOING

ANYTHING RIGHT.

HOW DO YOU GET THOSE RATS TO START FIGHTING AND START (bleep).

[ LAUGHTER ]

>> THE THING ABOUT HEROS, THEY DON'T BRAG.

THE KILLING OF OSAMA BIN LADEN AND HE SAID HE WASN'T GOING TO BE GLOATING AND HE WANTS TO MAKE

A VICTORY LAP WIT.

ADVERTISE DISTASTEFUL.

>> THE PRESIDENT SAID HE WOULDN'T SPIKE THE FOOTBALL.

>> THE OBAMA ADMINISTRATION WANTS TO MAKE IT LOOK LIKE HE DID EVERYTHING INCLUDE YOU FAST

ROPING OUT THE HELICOPTER AND PULLING THE TRIGGER.

>> Jon: FINE YOU GOT OUR NUMBER ONE ENEMY BUT YOU BRAGGED SO IT DOESN'T COUNT.

IF OBAMA HAD PULLED THE TRIGGER REPUBLICANS WOULD HAVE COMPLAINED HE WAS TAKING JOBS

AWAY FROM HARD-WORKING NAVY SEALS.

[ APPLAUSE ]

BUT UNDENIABLE BARACK OBAMA DID ACTUALLY GIVE THE ORDER TO GET BIN LADEN.

HOW DO YOU MINIMIZE THAT?

>> I DON'T THINK IT WAS A TOUGH DECISION.

TO NOT MAKE THAT DECISION IT SEEMED TO BE WOULD BE DUMBFOUNDING.

>> IN YOUR MIND NOT A TOUGH DECISION?

>> NOT AT ALL.

>> Jon: IT WOULD THE BE DUMB FOUNDING.

IT WOULD ABOUT INSANE.

IT WOULD BE CUCKOO FOR COCOA PUFFS.

ONE PERSON WHO DID HAVE THE CHANCE TO GO AFTER HIGH LEVEL TOP AL QAEDA OP PRA ACTIVES IN

PAKISTAN -- OH, DONALD RUMSFELD.

[ LAUGHTER ]

IN 2005 AND HE DIDN'T AUTHORIZE THE MISSION.

FROM WHAT I UNDERSTAND EVEN PEOPLE IN THE ROOM WITH OBAMA HAD THEIR DOUBTS.

>> SECRETARY OF DEFENSE ROBERT GATES RECOMMENDED AN AIR STRIKE WITH NO FORCES INSERTED ON THE GROUND.

VICE PRESIDENT BIDEN WANTED TO WAIT ON FURTHER PROOF THAT BIN LADEN WAS THERE.

>> AS WE WALKED OUT THE ROOM, HE SAID, YOU KNOW IT'S TIME TO MAKE A DECISION.

I KNOW THIS SOUNDS TRITE, THE PRESIDENT IS ALL ALONE.

ALL ALONE.

>> Jon: I MEAN TRUST ME, I AM NO HELP TO THAT MAN AT ALL.

[ LAUGHTER ]

I'M GOING TO TELL YOU SOMETHING.

[ APPLAUSE ]

I'M GOING TO TELL YOU SOMETHING,

BRIAN, AND I MEAN THIS SINCERELY IT'S FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY

HEART, I'M LIKE HAVING ONE LESS BRAIN IN THE ROOM.

[ LAUGHTER ]

UNTIL FACT I WANT TO GO ON RECORD RIGHT NOW SAYING THAT TERRORISTS SHOULD BE ABLE TO GET MARRIED.

THEY SHOULD GET MARRIED.

[ LAUGHTER ]

I LEARNED THAT FROM WATCHING WILL AND GRACE.

[ LAUGHTER ]

SO THE KILLING OF BIN LADEN IS A TOUGH ONE.

WHAT ABOUT THE AUTO BAILOUTS OBAMA RECOMMEND SNNCHED THE AUTO COMPANIES NEEDED TO GO THROUGH

BANKRUPTCY BEFORE GOVERNMENT HELP.

THAT WAS THE RIGHT COURSE.

I ARGUED FOR IT FROM THE VERY BEGINNING AND WHEN THAT WAS DONE AND HELP WAS GIVEN THE COMPANIES

GOT BACK ON THEIR FEET.

I'LL TAKE A LOT OF CREDIT FOR THE FACT THAT THIS INDUSTRY HAS COME BACK.

>> Jon: WHAT?

FIRST OF ALL THAT WAS AWESOME.

[ LAUGHTER ]

YOU CAN JUST TAKE CREDIT FOR -- (bleep).

I REMEMBER SAYING SAYING TO A FRIEND OF MINE I WISH TOLL BOOTHS WEREN'T

SUCH A PAIN IN THE ASS AND THEY SLOWED DOWN TRAFFIC SO MUCH.

SO YOU KNOW WHAT EZ-PASS YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'RE WELCOME.

THAT WAS ME.

I'M THAT GUY.

I TOLD SOMEBODY IN A BAR IFTS LIKE (bleep) THIS I DON'T WANT TO WAIT.

BOOM!

BY THE WAY, MITT ROMNEY, YOU THOUGHT OBAMA'S PLAN OF A TAX TEAR BACKED RE-- TAXPAYER BACKED

RESTRUCTURING WASN'T NO GOOD.

YOU WANTED PRIVATE INVESTORS LIKE YOUR BAIN CAPITAL DO TO THAT WHICH IS FUNNY BECAUSE THEY

DIDN'T WANT TO DO THAT.

IN FACT NO PRIVATE CAPITAL WANTED TO REINVEST THAT'S WHY THE TAXPAYERS HAD TO DO IT AND

THAT'S WHY YOU WERE AGAINST THAT.

INSTEAD THE OBAMA ADMINISTRATION BAILED THEM OUT AND IT WORKED.

I LIKE THE STRATEGY INSTEAD OF CRITICIZING OBAMA FOR THINGS HES HAD HAD DONE RIGHT FIND WAYS TO

CLAIM THOSE.

I KNOW HOW TO REALLY TIE THIS UP IN A NEAT PACKAGE.

A FEW YEARS AGO MITT ROMNEY SHARED THIS TOUCHING CHILDHOOD MEMORY.

>> MY DAD MARCHED WITH MARTIN LUTHER KING.

>> Jon: NOW WHILE TECHNICALLY IT TURNS OUT THAT WASN'T TRUE.

IT FEELS TRUE.

YOU KNOW, (bleep), AS A BOY MITT ROMNEY MARCHED MARCHED WITH MARTIN LUTHER KING.

FINE, LET'S DO THAT AND AS A DIRECT RESULT OF HIS -- I HADN'T SEEN THAT.

THAT'S NICE.

AS A DIRECT RESULT, THE BARRIERS THAT COULD HAVE KEPT A CERTAIN YOUNG BLACK MAN OUT OF LAW

SCHOOL FELL AWAY.

WITHOUT ROMNEY'S HELP WOULD NEVER HAVE ELECTED ITS FIRST BLACK PRESIDENT WHICH MEANS THAT

PRESIDENT WOULD NEVER HAVE GIVEN THE ORS TO KILL OSAMA BIN LADEN.

SO WHO KILLED OSAMA BIN LA

Loading...