Pox and the City

  • Aired:  08/05/14
  •  | Views: 36,353

As summer finally starts to settle down, a massive outbreak of the Ebola virus in West Africa causes a health scare in New York City. (6:17)

>> Jon: HEY, WELCOME.

THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

WELCOME TO "THE DAILY SHOW."

VERY EXCITED TO SEE YOU HERETONIGHT.

WE HAVE A TREMENDOUS SHOW.

WE'VE BEEN PLANNING IT ALMOSTALL DAY.

MY NAME IS JON STEWART.

MY GUEST TONIGHT, HELEN THORPE.

SHE IS THE AUTHOR OF "SOLDIERGIRLS: THE BATTLES OF THREE

WOMEN AT HOME AND AT WAR."

BUT FIRST, BEFORE WE EVEN GET TOTHE SHOW, BEFORE WE DO ANYTHING,

IT'S BEEN A LONG SUMMER.

WE'VE GOT GOOD NEWS.

GOOD NEWS.

THEY DON'T EVEN BELIEVE IT.

[LAUGHTER]

THEY'RE JUST SITTING THEREWAITING FOR IT. GOOD NEWS?

I'LL GIVE YOU THAT. THE SUMMERSTARTED OUT A LITTLE

DOOMSDAY-Y. BUTTHINGS ARE SETTLING DOWN.

YOU GOT YOUR PUTIN THERE FINALLYBEING SANCTIONED.

SO, HE'S CALMING DOWN, HE'SMAYBE PUTTING A SHIRT ON.

[LAUGHTER]YOU GOT A CEASEFIRE FINALLY IN

GAZA.

OH, PLEASE LET IT HOLD.

TIME FOR EVERYBODY TO TAKE ABREATH, CALM DOWN.

IT'S ALL GOOD.

>> EBOLA ALERT.

>> FAST-GROWING EBOLA OUTBREAK.

>> ONE OF THE MOST FEARED ANDDEADLY DISEASES ON EARTH.

>> SURGING OUT OF CONTROL.

>> Jon: WHAT THE [BLEEPED]!

OH, MY GOD.

WHAT THE [BLEEPED].

[APPLAUSE][BLEEPED]

THAT'S GOING TO MAKE A GOODGIF.

ALL RIGHT.

WHAT THE [BLEEPED].

FIRST IT WAS WAR.

THEN IT WAS PLAGUE. WE'RE EITHERIN THE END TIMES OR A SCI-FI

ORIGINAL MOVIE.

WE'RE ALL IN DANGER.

>> THE WORLD TRADE ORGANIZATIONREPORTS THERE ARE NOW 1,603

CASES IN WEST AFRICA.

[LAUGHTER]>> Jon: OH, I DIDN'T UH, WELL,

THAT'S TERRIBLE FORTHOSE COUNTRIES.

I DIDN'T REALIZE.

ALL RIGHT.

I GUESS I WON'T BE NEEDING THIS.

WHY DON'T I JUST CUT IT UP FORPARTS BECAUSE ONCE YOU,

YOU KNOW, YOU GOT CUT THE HOODUP BEFORE YOU THROW IT AWAY,

OTHERWISE I THINK DOLPHINS GETSTUCK IN IT OR SOMETHING.

[LAUGHTER]>> THERE ARE NEW FEARS TONIGHT

ABOUT THE EBOLA OUTBREAK RIGHTHERE IN NEW YORK CITY.

DOCTORS AT MT. SINAI HOSPITALARE PERFORMING TESTS ON A

PATIENT WHO IS SHOWING POSSIBLESYMPTOMS OF THE VIRUS.

>> Jon: MOTHER [BLEEPED].

[LAUGHTER][CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]

[LAUGHTER][CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]

HOW DO WE KNOW THIS PATIENT EVENHAS EBOLA?

>> THE MALE PATIENT ARRIVED HERETO THE EMERGENCY ROOM EARLY THIS

MORNING WITH A HIGH FEVER ANDGASTROINTESTINAL SYMPTOMS, WHICH

COULD BE CAUSED BY MANYDIFFERENT ILLNESSES.

>> Jon: YEAH, NO KIDDING.

HE'S GOT A FEVER AND DIARRHEA.

THAT'S IT?

I MEAN, YOU'RE SAYING HE COULDHAVE EBOLA, OR MAYBE HE JUST GOT

HIS LUNCH HERE.

[LAUGHTER]IT'S WHAT WE IN NEW YORK CALL

OUR-BOLA.[LAUGHTER]

DID YOU KNOW THAT ALL NEW YORKDOCTORS ARE ACTUALLY TRAINED TO

ASK, HAVE YOU BEEN TO WESTAFRICA OR EATEN

AT A SALAD BAR THAT ALSO SELLSCONDOMS AND CIGARETTES?

WELL, WHILE WE WAIT FOR THERESULTS OF THE EBOLA TEST, I'M

SURE THE HOSPITAL IS TAKINGEVERY PRECAUTION.

>> THE HOSPITAL SAID ALL THENECESSARY STEPS ARE BEING TAKEN

TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OFPATIENTS, VISITORS AND STAFF.

THE HOSPITAL SAYS THEY WILLCONTINUE TO WORK CLOSELY WITH

FEDERAL, STATE AND CITYOFFICIALS.

>> Jon: I'M NOT ANEPIDEMOLOGIST OR IMMUNOLOGIST OR

VERSED IN DISEASE CONTROL, BUT AGOOD START TO A SOLID QUARANTINE

I THINK WOULD BE SHUTTING THAT[BLEEPED] DOOR.

AM I, AM I WRONG HERE? WHAT? YOUGOT...

[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]I MEAN, RIGHT NOW YOU'RE TRYING

PULL A QUARANTINE.

EBOLA COULD JUST STROLL RIGHTOUTSIDE.

IT WOULDN'T EVEN HAVE TO HURRY.

DO-DO-DO.

NOW LOOK PROBABLY THIS GUYDOESN'T EVEN HAVE EBOLA, BUT IF

HE DOES, IS THE CITY SCREWED?

>> DR. ALEXANDER VANTULLEKEN TELLS ME EVEN AN

ACTUAL EBOLA CASE INNEW YORK CITY WOULD NOT

BE CAUSE FOR PANIC.

>> IT'S NOT LIKE FLU WHERE ITCAN BE CARRIED IN DROPLETS IN

THE AIR.

EBOLA NEEDS DIRECT CONTACT WITHBODILY FLUIDS CONTAINING THE

VIRUS.

>> Jon: I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOUPEOPLE, BUT I THINK DR. AFLAC

HERE JUST GAVE ME SOME EBOLA.

RIGHT HERE.

DIRECT CONTACT WITH BODILYFLUIDS, HUH? WORTH IT.

[LAUGHTER]SO MAYBE IT'S NOT TOO BAD, EVEN

IF THIS PATIENT IS INFECTED, WECAN HANDLE ONE CASE.

THIS IS NEW YORK CITY, BABY.

AS LONG AS ALL THE OTHER CASESSTAY OUT OF THE COUNTRY.

>> THE SECOND AMERICAN DOCTORINFECTED WITH THE EBOLA VIRUS

HAS JUST LANDED IN ATLANTA.

[LAUGHTER]>> Jon: SO WE'RE IMPORTING

EBOLA NOW.

THAT'S GOT TO BE THE WORSTAIRPORT PICK-UP GIG EVER.

NOW, DON'T THESE PEOPLE REALIZEEBOLA HAS NO TREATMENT, NO CURE,

NO TREATMENT.

SURE, YOU BRING 'EM HERE TO THEUNITED STATES.

WHAT ARE THEY EVEN GOING DO FORTHESE PATIENTS?

>> DOCTORS ARE TRYING OUT ABRAND-NEW APPROACH TO FIGHTING

THE DISEASE WITH AN EXPERIMENTALSERUM.

>> TOP-SECRET SERUM.

>> MAGIC SERUM.

>> HIS BREATHING STRAIGHTENEDOUT, THE RASH ON HIS BODY WENT

AWAY AND HIS VITAL SIGNS ALL,EVERYTHING SORT OF RETURNED TO A

MORE NORMAL STATE.

>> Jon: OH, MY GOD, THERE'SAPPARENTLY A CURE FOR EBOLA FOR

AMERICANS. [LAUGHTER]

YOU KNOW, I IMAGINE THERE'SA CONTINENT RIGHT ABOUT NOW

GOING, UM, I HAVE AN IDEA,WHY DON'T YOU SAVE [BLEEPED]

FOR MOSQUITO NETS AND GIVE USSOME OF THAT EBOLA JUICE.

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