Game of Drones

  • Aired:  12/07/11
  •  | Views: 168,148

Not only did America not find out if Iran is developing dangerous new technology, it inadvertently gave Iran its dangerous new technology. (4:00)

WE TURN NOW TO IRAN, WHERE

TENSIONS ARE RUNNING HIGH AFTER

NEW EVIDENCE THAT SCIENTISTS

THERE HAVE REVIVED THEIR

TOP-SECRET NUCLEAR PROGRAM.

EITHER THAT OR IRAN EMBRACING A

NEW STYLE OF GLOW-IN-THE-DARK

ARCHITECTURE, "DARKITECTURE."

[LAUGHTER]

NOW, A NEW DRAMA IS UNFOLDING.

>> IRAN CLAIMS IT HAS CAPTURED

ONE OF AMERICA'S MOST

SOPHISTICATED SPY PLANES.

>> THE IRANIANS SAY THEY HAVE

THEIR HANDS ON AN RQ-170, A

SECRET STEALTH AIRCRAFT THAT

CARRIES THE MOST ADVANCED

CENSORS, CAMERAS AND LISTENING

DEVICES FOR SPYING FROM THE AIR.

>> Jon: WHAT?

THE RQ?

OUR TOP-SECRET SPY PLANE THINGY

IS IN IRAN?

HOW DID THAT HAPPEN?

>> U.S. OFFICIALS TELL NBC NEWS

THAT C.I.A. OPERATORS ON THE

GROUND WERE FLYING THE DRONE

WHEN IT SUDDENLY VEERED OUT OF

CONTROL AND HEADED DEEP INTO

IRAN.

[LAUGHTER]

>> Jon: THAT BRINGS US TO OUR

NEW SEGMENT, "I'M NOT EXPERT,

BUT THAT SOUNDS LIKE BULL

[BLEEPED]."

[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]

IT'S A FUNNY STORY.

WE'RE JUST MINDING OUR OWN

BUSINESS, FLYING OUR DROUGHNS,

AND FLYING ON THE AFGHANS AND

ALL OF A SUDDEN AGENT NUTMEG,

THE C.I.A. CAT, JUMPS ON THE

CONTROL.

THEN THE WHOLE THINGS GOES

WHOOO.

ACTUALLY, ONE DAY LATER THEY HAD

A MUCH BETTER EXPLANATION.

>> NEW INFORMATION ABOUT THE

U.S. DRONE THAT WENT DOWN IN

IRAN OVER THE WEEKEND.

THE UNMANNED AIRCRAFT WAS ON A

C.I.A. MISSION AND WAS PART OF A

SPECIAL FLEET OF STEALTH DRONES

THAT HAVE SPIED ON IRAN FOR

YEARS FROM AN AFGHANISTAN AIR

BASE.

>> Jon: YEAH, THAT MAKES A

LITTLE BIT MORE SENSE.

NO HARM NO FOUL, YOU KNOW WHAT I

MEAN?

IRAN, YOU'RE JUST TRYING TO

DEVELOP NUCLEAR WEAPONS TO BLOW

UP THE WORLD AND WE GOT OUTED AS

A HIGH-TECH PEEPING TOM.

IT'S CALLED A DRAW.

LET'S CALL THE WHOLE THING EVIL.

>> THE IRANIANS HAVE RECOVERED

THAT WRECKAGE AND THE CONCERN

HERE IS THAT THEY'LL USE THOSE

HIGH-TECH CAMERAS AND CENSORS TO

TRY TO DEVELOP THAT TECHNOLOGY

FOR THEIR OWN.

>> IT COULD HAVE GLIDED INTO

IRAN LARGELY INTACT.

IF IT DID, THE DRONE'S SKIN,

WHICH KEEPS IT INVISIBLE FROM

RADAR, COULD BE AN INTELLIGENCE

BONANZA.

>> Jon: WHAT?

SO NOT ONLY DID WE NOT FIND OUT

IF IRAN IS DEVELOPING DANGEROUS

NEW TECHNOLOGY, WE INADVERTENTLY

GAVE THEM OUR DANGEROUS NEW

TECHNOLOGY.

OH, IRONY.

SEEMS AT THE VERY LEAST WE

SHOULD HAVE INTENTIONALLY

CRASHED THE DRONE OR ACTIVATED

ITS SELF-DESTRUCT BUTTON.

UNLESS WE GAVE IT TO IRAN ON

PURPOSE.

WHICH BRINGS US TO OUR OTHER NEW

SEGMENT, "WELL PLAYED, IRAN.

ENJOY YOUR TROJAN DRONE."

[APPLAUSE]

YOU GOT OUR DRONE.

YOU THINK THAT DRONE SKIN IS

STEALTH SKIN?

NO.

IT'S ACTUALLY... IT ACTUALLY

MAKES YOU MORE VISIBLE.

IT'S LIKE THE PLAID OF DRONE

SKIN.

BESIDES, EVEN IF IT DID HAVE THE

GOOD STEALTH TECHNOLOGY, WHICH

IT TOTALLY DOESN'T, IT'S NOT

LIKE YOUR SINETISTS COULD EVEN

FIGURE IT OUT.

>> ANALYST PETER SINGER SAYS IF

THE RQ-170 IS RELATIVELY INTACT,

THE IRANIANS WILL LIKELY GIVE

THE DRONE TO CHINA

>> Jon: [BLEEPED].

OH, YEAH, YOU'RE GOING TO GIVE

IT TO CHINA, HUH?

THAT BRINGS US BACK TO OUR EVEN

NEWER NEW SEGMENT, "SORRY, IRAN,

WE THOUGHT YOU WERE REAL

COUNTRY, NOT CHINA'S BITCH."

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