Wrongnado

  • Aired:  09/17/13
  •  | Views: 166,852

When America needs context and clarity, it can depend on cable news to provide speculation and error. (3:40)

>> WELCOME TO THE DAILY SHOW, MYNAME IS JON STEWART.

WE PUT A SHOW TOGETHER FOR YOUTONIGHT.

ONE OF OUR FAVORITES IS GOING TOBE JOINING US FROM THE MOVIE

PRISONERS, JAKE GYLLENHAAL WILLBE JOINING US.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]HE HAS THE BEARD THAT I'M

MISSING.

[LAUGHTER]OLD FRIEND.

SO IN THE ABSENCE OF BREAKINGNEWS, CABLE NEWS CHANNELS RELY

ON A VARIETY OF ONE TACTIC, TOHOLD THE VIEWER'S ATTENTION,

CONCISE INFORMATIVE REPORTING.

[LAUGHTER]IT'S ACTUALLY THIS.

>> CAN I FINISH -->> NO YOU WANTED ME --

>> YOU ARE LYING.

>> I'M NOT LYING.

>> DON'T CALL ME A LIAR.

>> GO BACK TO 1996.

>> YES, I AM.

>> DO YOU KNOW WHAT I THINK,>> LET ME FINISH.

>> YOU WANT TO KNOW WHATAMERICAN --

[LAUGHTER]>> Jon: NOW NOW NOW GOOD

SIMULTANEOUS POINTS EVERYBODY.

BUT THAT TOOK SO LONG TO WATCH.

CAN WE DISTILL CABLE NEWSDOWN TO ITS CRUNCHY CENTER.

[LAUGHTER]>> Jon: WHEN I SAID LET'S

HAVE A BABOON MASTURBATING[LAUGHTER]

I DIDN'T THINK WE COULD FINDTHAT FOOTAGE.

[LAUGHTER]WOW.

WE HAVE THE BEST RESEARCH STAFFIN THE COUNTRY.

[LAUGHTER]BUT OF COURSE THAT'S JUST 24

HOUR CABLE FILLER.

SLOW NEWS DAY CONFLICTCHUM.

IT'S WHAT CABLE NEWS CHANNELS DOWHILE WAITING FOR EVENTS THAT

TRULY JUSTIFY THEIR EXISTENCE,URGENT SOUL CRUSHING BREAKING

NEWS LIKE MASS SHOOTING.

THE KIND THAT HAPPENS ALL TOOFREQUENTLY IN THIS

PATHOLOGICALLY UNABLE TO TRY ANDSTOP THEM COUNTRY.

IT'S TIMES LIKE THESE WE REQUIRETHE TYPE OF CONTEXT AND CLARITY

THAT ONLY THESE NOBLE DORMANTCABLE GIANTS.

[LAUGHTER]WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING?

[LAUGHTER]CAN PROVIDE.

>> I DON'T WANT TO SPECULATEBUT.

>> I'M SORRY, DID I SAY CONTEXTCLARITY.

I MEANT SPECULATION.

YES FOR EVERY ALL TOO FAMILIARAMERICAN TRAGEDY YOU CAN BE SURE

THE NEWS WILL EXACERBATE IT WITHYET ANOTHER FORCE FIVE

WRONGNADO.

GET INSIDE EVERYBODY, GETINSIDE.

GET INSIDE AND HOPE FOR A POWEROUTAGE.

>> IF THERE WERE AS MANY THREESHOOTERS, THAT WOULD CHANGE THIS

SITUATION DRAMATICALLY.

>> RIGHT NOW NBC NEWS HASTHE REPORT OF JUST ONE SHOOTER.

THERE WERE EARLIER REPORTS ABOUTMULTIPLE SHOOTERS.

THERE HAS BEEN A NAME THAT'SBEEN REPORTED, BUT WE'RE TOLD

THAT THE NAME THAT'S OUT THEREIS INCORRECT BY THE END OF THE

RAMPAGE ALEXIS HAD A SHOTGUN,HE HAD A HANDGUN, HE HAD AN

AR15.

>> THERE WERE INITIAL REPORTSFROM AUTHORITIES THAT THE

SHOOTER IN THIS CASE USED ANAR15.

THAT APPARENTLY NOW IS NOT TRUE.

>> AGAIN WE'RE SPECULATING HEREBUT THIS IS EXPERIENCED

SPECULATION.

>> OH, YES IT IS.

[LAUGHTER]>> I'M AN OLD HAND WHEN IT COMES

TO SPECULATION, BEEN DOING ITSINCE YOU WERE A GLEAM IN YOUR

PAPPY'S EYES.

I WAS THE FIRST ONE SUGGESTEDJOHN F. KENNEDY WAS KILLED BY

SPONTANEOUS COMBUSTION.

TURNED OUT TO BE WRONG.

HEEHEE.

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