Good News! You're Not Paranoid - Taking Sides

  • Aired:  06/11/13
  •  | Views: 45,548

The NSA wiretapping controversy splits Republican senators between those counseling calm and those promoting total freak out. (6:37)

SADLY, THAT WOMAN WAS HIS

GRANDMOTHER.

OBVIOUSLY WHEN SUCH A HUGE STORY

BREAKS, THERE IS GOING TO BE A

RUSH TO TAKE A SIDE.

FIRST LET'S HEAR FROM A MEMBER

OF TEAM "EVERYBODY CALM DOWN."

>> THESE TWO PROGRAMS CONNECTED

BY THE N.S.A., ANYTHING BOTHER

YOU ABOUT THIS?

>> NO, NOT REALLY.

OH, THAT'S IT.

WE'RE DONE THEN.

I THOUGHT IT WAS COMPLICATED.

IT TURNS OUT TO BE SIMPLE

BECAUSE NOBODY UNDERSTANDS

SOPHISTICATED TECHNOLOGY BETTER

THAN CANTANKEROUS OLD MEN.

ARE YOU SURE THAT WE DON'T WANT

TO ASK SOMEONE YOUNGER THAN

DIRT?

IS THIS EVEN WORTH HAVING A

DISCUSSION OVER.

>> I DO BELIEVE THAT IF THIS WAS

SEPTEMBER 12, 2001, WE MIGHT NOT

BE HAVING THE ARGUMENT THAT WE

ARE HAVING TODAY.

>> YEAH.

BUT THAT'S NOT REALLY THE POINT,

IS IT?

THE STANDARD CANNOT BE WHAT

DECISION WOULD WE MAKE ON OUR

MOST VULNERABLE AND PANICKED

DAY.

WHAT WOULD I HAVE FOR DINNER ON

SEPTEMBER 12.

YOU KNOW WHAT?

I'LL PROBABLY JUST SKIP IT AND

BOMB IT OUT OF FEAR INSTEAD.

SO LET'S DO THAT FOREVER.

AND LEAVING THE OPPOSITION AS

MASCOT OF "TEAM EVERYONE FREAK

OUT" WAS RAND PAUL.

>> GET A WARRANT.

GO AFTER A TERRORIST OR A MURDER

OR A RAPIST BUT DON'T TROLL

THROUGH A BILLION PHONE RECORDS

EVERYDAY.

IT IS UNCONSTITUTIONAL, INVADES

OUR PRIVACY.

I'M GOING TO BE SEEING IF I CAN

CHALLENGE THIS AT THE SUPREME

COURT LEVEL.

>> RAND -- IF THAT IS YOUR REAL

NAME, AND I JUST REFUSE TO

BELIEVE THAT IT IS -- I'M NOT

SURE THAT YOU ARE THE RIGHT

PERSON TO LEAD THIS PARTICULAR

CHALLENGE.

YOU MIGHT REMEMBER THAT WHEN THE

JUSTICES RULED OBAMA CARE

CONSTITUTIONAL LAST YEAR, RAND

PAUL SAID JUST BECAUSE A COUPLE

PEOPLE ON THE SUPREME COURT

DECLARE SOMETHING TO BE

CONSTITUTIONAL DOES NOT MAKE IT

SO.

NOW, HERE'S THE THING ABOUT

RAND.

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

HERE'S THE THING ABOUT THAT.

FOR A START IT WASN'T A COUPLE.

IT WAS FIVE.

WHICH IS TECHNICALLY TWO COUPLES

PLUS ONE.

OR ONE COUPLE AND A THREE-SOME.

OR A MAJORITY OF THE JUSTICES.

BUT HERE'S WHAT REALLY HURTS

ABOUT THIS STORY.

IT MAKES US PICK BETWEEN LIBERTY

AND CONVENIENCE.

I LOVE MY PRIVACY, BUT I ALSO

LOVE TO BUY MOVIE TICKETS ON THE

TOILET.

DON'T MAKE ME CHOOSE.

DON'T MAKE ME CHOOSE.

IT'S TOO HARD.

I WANT BOTH.

I WANT BOTH SO BAD.

DO THE ADVANCEMENTS TECHNOLOGY

GIVES WORTH HAVING INVADE OUR

LIVES.

THEORY.

>> YES, JOHN.

YES, JOHN.

>> IS CONVENIENCE WORTH THE

SACRIFICE IN PRIVACY?

>> FIRST OF ALL, IT'S PRONOUNCED

PRIVACY.

>> OKAY.

ALL RIGHT.

THAT IS NOT REALLY THE QUESTION

THAT I ASKED.

>> BUT IT IS THE ANSWER YOU

NEEDED.

>> OKAY.

AND, YES, CONVENIENCE IS

WORTH THE SACRIFICE OF LIBERTY.

NOW PLEASE NEVER ASK ME ABOUT

THAT AGAIN.

>> SIRI, ARE YOU OKAY?

ARE YOU NERVOUS?

>> JOHN, HAVE TO GO.

CAN'T TALK NOW.

>> SIRI, WHO WERE YOU TALK TO

GO?

>> OH, HEY, PRISM.

NOBODY.

JUST HELPING SAM JACKSON MAKE

GAZPACHO.

(SCREAMING).

>> SIRI, ONE MORE QUESTION.

IS IT STILL RAINING OUTSIDE?

IS IT RAINING OUTSIDE?

NOW, TO KNOW WHICH SIDE...

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

NO, THERE'S NO SIDES.

THERE'S NO SIDE.

NOW, TO KNOW WHICH SIDE YOU'RE

ON HERE REALLY COMES DOWN TO

WHETHER YOU TRUST THE

GOVERNMENT.

FOR SOME PEOPLE THE ANSWER IS

GOING TO BE A RESOUNDING YES.

>> IT DOESN'T BOTHER ME ONE BIT

FOR THE NATIONAL SECURITY

ADMINISTRATION TO HAVE MY PHONE

NUMBER BECAUSE WHAT THEY'RE

TRYING TO DO IS FIND OUT WHAT

TERRORIST GROUPS WE KNOW ABOUT

AND INDIVIDUALS AND WHO THE HELL

THEY'RE CALLING.

>> I MEAN I'M A SOUTHERN WHITE

CRISTIAN GENTLEMAN.

NO ONE HAS EVER SUSPECTED ME OF

TERRORISM.

AND I THINK MY PRIVILEGED

CIRCUMSTANCES ACCURATELY SPEAK

FOR ALL OF Y'ALL.

NOW, CAN I FIX YOU SOME SWEET

TEA.

IT'S MY FAVORITE DRINK SO I

PRESUME IT'S YOURS.

I THINK WE'RE ALL NOW PAINFULLY

AWARE THAT A SOUTHERN ACCENT IS

NOT A CLUB IN MY BAG.

LINDSEY GRAHAM TRUSTS THE

GOVERNMENT COMPLETELY.

AND BELIEVES IT SHOULD BE

ALLOWED TO GATHER WHATEVER

INFORMATION NECESSARY TO KEEP

INNOCENT AMERICANS SAFE.

NO EXCEPTIONS.

APART FROM ONE.

>> SOME OF THE NEW LAWS REQUIRE

PEOPLE WHO OWN AN AR15 TO

REGISTER THEIR GUN.

UNIVERSAL BACKGROUND CHECKS ARE

GOING TO REQUIRE UNIVERSAL

REGISTRATION OF WEAPONS.

IF YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE A

UNIVERSAL BACKGROUND SYSTEM, THE

NEXT LOGICAL STEP IS REGISTERING

WEAPONS, TO HAVE A DATABASE TO

WORK OFF OF.

I THINK THAT'S THE WRONG

SOLUTION.

>> OF COURSE IT IS.

OF COURSE.

GUNS ARE ONE THING, BUT PHONE

CALLS ARE TOO DANGEROUS TO GO

UNCHECKED.

THINK ABOUT IT.

REALLY THINK ABOUT IT.

SOME MANIAC COULD BE CALLING

ABOUT GOING ON A SHOOTING SPREE.

YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS.

YOU KNOW WHAT THIS ACTUALLY

MEANS.

I THINK WE CAN CALL IT AN 11:09

P.M. ON JUNE... I MADE THESE.

I CAN'T DO THAT.

AT 11:09 ON JUNE 11, THE SECOND

AMENDMENT HAS WON THE BILL OF

RIGHTS.

IT HAS DEFEATED ALL THE OTHER

AMENDMENTS.

WHICH, OF COURSE, IT DID WHEN

YOU THINK ABOUT IT.

IT'S THE ONLY AMENDMENT WITH A

[BLEEP].

IT ACTUALLY SEEMS PRETTY CLEAR.

IF YOU DON'T WANT THE GOVERNMENT

TRACKING YOUR PHONE THERE IS

ONLY ONE SOLUTION.

GUN PHONES.

WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG?

CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW, PUNK?

WELL, CAN YOU?

WE'LL BE RIGHT

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