Jon Stewart's Thumbs Up, Women - The Job Interview

  • Aired:  01/16/14
  •  | Views: 87,522

Kristen Schaal experiments with absolute workplace power and vows to abuse it much better than men have. (4:52)

FOR MORE ON THIS WE TURN TOSENIOR WOMEN'S ISSUES

CORRESPONDENT KRISTEN SCHAAL.

KRISTEN --[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

VERY NICE OF YOU TO BE HERE.

>> MY PLEASURE.

>> Jon: KRISTEN IT SEEMS LIKEDOORS ARE OPENING UP LEFT AND

RIGHT FOR WOMEN NOW.

>> YEAH AND I WANT TO APOLOGIZEFOR THAT.

WE JUST DIDN'T REALIZE HOW HARDOUR SUCCESS WOULD BE ON MEN.

>> IN THIS FEMININIZEDATMOSPHERE IN WHICH WE EXIST

TODAY GUYS WHO WERE MASCULINEAND MUSCULAR LIKE THAT IN

THE PRIVATE CONDUCT AND OLDFASHIONED TOUGH GUYS RUN SOME

RISKS.

YOU ARE IN CONSTANT DANGER OFSLIPPING OUT AND SAYING

SOMETHING THAT WILL GET YOU INTROUBLE AND MAKE YOU LOOK LIKE A

SEXIST OR MAKE YOU SEEM THUGGISHOR WHATEVER.

>> THAT IS SO TRAGIC, POORINCREDIBLY MANLY, MUSCULAR MAN'S

MAN BRITT HUME.

IT WAS NOT OUR INTENTION TOFEMININIZE THE ATMOSPHERE BY

COMING IN WITH CUT FLOWERS ANDBREAST MILK FAX MACHINES.

>> Jon: YOU FAX BREAST MILK?

>> AM I GOING TO FAX FORMULA?

I'M NOT A MONSTER.

>> Jon: MEN ARE NOT THAT BAD.

>> OF COURSE NOT.

LET'S DO A ROLE PLAY OF WHAT ITWAS LIKE.

WAI'LL BE EVERY MANLY MAN BOSSI'VE

EVER HAD AND YOU BE A LADYSEEKING EMPLOYMENT.

>> Jon: OKAY.

I'LL BE A LADY SEEKINGEMPLOYMENT.

A LADY.

>> AH.

THANKS FOR COMING IN, AH?

QUIT SUCKIN ONMY MAN STICK, I GOT

A JOB INTERVIEW, ALL RIGHT.

[ LAUGHTER ]COME ON, I GOT BUSINESS.

[ LAUGHTER ]SORRY ABOUT THAT SUGAR TITS.

[ LAUGHTER ]SO WHAT IS YOUR POISON?

ARE YOU A SCOTCH MAN?

>> Jon: NO, I'M OKAY THAT --WE'RE AT A JOB -- OKAY I'M JUST

GONNA --[LAUGHTER]

>> THAT'S DISGUSTING.

YOU ARE NOT ONE OF THOSETEETOTALING

VIETNAMESE POLOCKS ARE YOU.

>> Jon: THAT'S RACIST?

>> STOP, LIGHTEN UP, OKAY?

WHAT ARE YOUR QUALIFICATIONS.

>> Jon: A BA.

>> YEAH, WHAT ABOUT YOUR T ANDA.

>> Jon: WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

>> TALKING ABOUT YOUR TITTIESAND YOUR ASSIES, GIVE US A SPIN.

I WANT TO SEE THEM BOUNCE.

>> Jon: THEY DON'TBOUNCE.

I'M NOT GOING TO -- THEYDON'T --

>> ARE YOU GOING TO CRY?

>> Jon: NO.

>> OH, YEAH BECAUSE IT LOOKSLIKE YOU ARE GOING TO CRY.

>> Jon: I'M NOT GOING TO CRYKRISTEN.

>> I'M NOT GOING TO CRY KRISTEN.

>> Jon: SHUT UP.

WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?

STOP YOU MADE YOUR POINT.

IT WAS TERRIBLE BACK THEN, FINE.

>> WELL, THAT WAS MY POINT.

UNTIL I TRIED IT, JON THAT WASINCREDIBLE, OKAY.

HOLY (bleep) I NEVER KNEW HOWTHRILLING IT IS TO HAVE ALL THAT

POWER TO ABUSE.

I FEEL ALIVE FOR THE FIRST TIME.

MY HEART IS POUNDING.

I UNDERSTAND HOW UPSET MEN MUSTBE TO LOSE ALL THAT.

>> Jon: I GUESS MEN WILL JUSTHAVE TO ADJUST TO A NEW WORLD OF

EQUALITY WHERE WE TREAT EACHOTHER WITH MUTUAL RESPECT.

>> (bleep) THAT.

THISABSOLUTE POWER IS TOO MUCH OF A

RUSH.

WE'RE COMING FOR IT AND WE'REGOING TO ABUSE IT MUCH

BETTER THAN MEN.

>> Jon: I DON'T SEE HOW IT'SPOSSIBLE.

WE MADE WOMEN SLEEP WITH US FORJOBS.

>> YOU THINK SEXUAL HARASSMENTIS BAD?

WHEN WE'RE DONE WITH YOU YOU'LLBE BEGGING FOR GROPING BECAUSE

US LADIES WORK FROM THE INSIDEOUT.

I'LL SHOW YOU.

LET'S DO ANOTHER ROLE PLAY.

>> Jon: I DON'T WANT TO.

>> OF COURSE YOU DON'T WANT TOBECAUSE IT'S FUN AND YOU DON'T

LIKE HAVING FUN.

THAT'S WHY AFTER THE SHOW WE GOOUT WITHOUT YOU AND TALK ABOUT

HOW MUCH FUN YOU USED TO BE.

>> Jon: IS THAT TRUE, YOU DOTHAT?

>> YEAH, NOBODY HERE LIKES YOUAND I'M TELLING YOU THAT AS A

FRIEND BUT I'M NOT YOUR FRIENDAND I WANT MY BEST FRIEND

NECKLACE BACK.

>> Jon: BUT YOU GAVE IT TO MEAND SAID WE'D BE BEST FRIENDS

FOREVER.

IT'S MY FAVORITE.

>> IT'S A SOFT PAIN YOU'LL NEVERSHAKE.

THAT'S THE POWER OF WOMEN.

STAND UP AND DO A SPIN FOR ME.

>> Jon: HOLY (bleep).

THANK YOU.

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