Where's Your Receipts, A$$hole? - Audit World

  • Aired:  06/03/13
  •  | Views: 113,939

Amid ongoing scandal, the IRS finds its every action painted in a nefarious light. (4:11)

>> Jon: IT'S ME!

WELCOME TO THE "DAILY SHOW."

MY GUEST TONIGHT IS THE FILM

MAKERS BEHIND THE NEW MOVIE

"PUSSY RIOT."

CALM DOWN.

( LAUGHTER )

IT'S ABOUT RUSSIAN POLITICAL

DISSIDENTS AND THEIR ADORABLE

CATS.

( LAUGHTER )

FIRST THINGS FIRST, LAST MONDAY

WAS MEMORIAL DAY, SO LIKE MOST

AMERICANS, WE TOOK THE WHOLE

WEEK OFF.

YOU'RE WELCOME.

( LAUGHTER )

ONE BELEAGUERED GOVERNMENT

BUREAU, THE I.R.S., SPENT THE

WEEK FURTHER MIRED IN A SCANDAL

THAT STEMS FROM ACCUSATIONS THAT

ITS AGENTS PARTICULARLY TARGETED

RIGHT WING GROUPS FOR SCRUTINY.

>> MORE EMBARRASSMENT THIS

MORNING FOR THE I.R.S.

>> THE I.R.S. IS FACING ANOTHER

HEADACHE.

>> THE I.R.S. IS UNDER SCRUTINY

BIG TIME.

>> Jon: OH, NO!

( LAUGHTER )

POOR BABIES.

THE I.R.S. FACING SCRUTINY.

( LAUGHTER )

PEOPLE GETTING ALL UP.

JUST BECAUSE ONE SMALL AREA OF

THEIR BUSINESS RAISED A COUPLE

OF RED FLAGS.

NOW, EVERYBODY AT THE I.R.S. HAS

TO STOP THEIR LIVES AND PROVE

THEIR INNOCENCE.

( LAUGHTER )

OR PERHAPS WE CAN PUT THAT IN

TERMS THE I.R.S. MIGHT

UNDERSTAND THEMSELVES.

IT'S OUR NEW SEGMENT, "WHERE'S

YOUR RESEE THE AT?"

SUCKS TO GET AUDITED, DOESN'T

IT?

SUDDENLY, ACTIONS THAT SEEM

HARMLESS CAN BE PAINTED IN A

NEFARIOUS LIGHT.

WELL, WHY DON'T WE SEE WHAT

WE'VE GOT.

LET'S GET STARTED.

>> THIS MAN, FORMER I.R.S.

COMMISSIONER, DOUGLAS SCHULMAN

VISITED THE WHITE HOUSE--

READY-- 157 TIMES.

WHAT THE HECK?

WAS THERE SCHULMAN DOING AT THE

WHITE HOUSE WITH THAT KIND OF

FREQUENCY?

>> Jon: WOE!

WOE!

CAREER THE LADIES FROM THE ROOM!

I.R.S., YOUR TOO MANY FOOLERY

ALMOST MADE BILL O'REILLY SAY H,

E, DOUBLE TOOTHPICKS.

>> YOU MUST EXPLAIN UNDER OACT

WHAT YOU WERE DOING AT THE WHITE

HOUSE ON 157 SEPARATE OCCASIONS.

>> Jon: YEAH, THAT WAS A

LOT.

ESPECIALLY SINCE HAVING THE

PRESIDENT TO TELL YOU TO USE THE

POWER OF THE I.R.S. TO DESTROY

HIS POLITICAL ENEMIES ON THE

RIGHT SHOULD REALLY ONLY TAKE

ABOUT ONE MEETING, TWO TOPS.

( LAUGHTER )

THE FIRST MEETING WILL BE LIKE,

"HEY, WHY DON'T YOU TARGET MY

POLITICAL ENEMIES?"

THEN THE NEXT 156 YOU'RE LIKE,

DYOU TAKE CARE OF THAT THING?"

( LAUGHTER ).

IT IS A GOOD QUESTION, WHAT WAS

THE I.R.S. CHAIRMAN DOING AT THE

WHITE HOUSE SO MANY TIMES?

>> MANY OF THOSE MEETINGS WERE

FOR HEALTH CARE IMPLEMENTATION.

I WAS IN THEM WITH HIM.

SO THERE'S NOTHING NEFARIOUS

GOING ON.

>> Jon: NOTHING NEFARIOUS.

CAN'T GOVERNMENT AGENCIES SIT

AROUND THE TABLE PICKING NAMES

OF SENIORS OUT OF A HAT SO THAT

IT CAN SAVE ENOUGH MONEY TO GIVE

ELEMENTARY SCHOOL CHILDREN THEIR

BIRTH CONTROL.

WITHOUT EVERYONE GETTING ALL

"WHAT'S GOING ON IN THERE?"

YEAH, WELCOME TO AUDIT WORLD,

I.R.S.

BY THE WAY, KEVIN COSTNER'S

SECOND WORST MOVIE.

( APPLAUSE )

IT IS A TIME ON EARTH.

MAN LIVES IN A CITY OF FORMS.

IT'S A WORLD DROWNING IN

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