You're Welcome - Hacker Threat

  • Aired:  06/23/11
  •  | Views: 71,318

John Hodgman does whatever it takes to keep the hackers happy so his Etsy storefront stays safe. (4:50)

>> Jon: WELCOME BACK TO OUR

PROGRAM.

I WANT TO TALK TO YOU

QUICKLY ABOUT SOMETHING, I

WANTED TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT

COMPUTERS.

WE USE THEM FOR EVERYTHING,

FOR MASTERBATING TO SHOPPING

TO SHOPSTERBAT,.

BUT FOR ALL THE COMPUTER'S

CONVENIENCE, THERE'S ALSO A

DARK SIDE.

>> THE CIA'S WEB SITE HAS

BEEN HACKED BY THE SAME

GROUP THAT ALSO CLAIMED

ATTACKS ON SONY AND PBS.

>> THE IMF SAYS THEY

DEFINITELY WERE HACKED.

>> BREAK APPROXIMATING INTO

CITIGROUP'S WEB SITE.

>> THEY HAVE HACKED SONY AND

NOW THE U.S. SENATE.

>> GOOGLE RSA AND LOCKHEED

MARTIN.

>> RECEIVED TWEETS FROM KIM

CAR BASHIAN, YOU SHOULD KNOW

WAS NOT HER, HER TWITTER

ACCOUNT WAS HACKED.

>> Jon: WHEN WILL THE

MADNESS END.

FOR MORE ON WHAT WE CAN DO

TO PROTECT OURSELVES FROM

THE HACKER THREAT WE ARE

JOINED BY JOHN HODGMAN AND

HIS SEGMENT --

>> THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

JOHN HODGMAN JOINING US.

JOHN, IT SEEMS LIKE EVERY

DAY WE HEAR ABOUT ANOTHER

SECURITY BREACH CARRIED OUT

BY HACKERS.

THE CIA AND CITIBANK CAN'T

STOP T HOW CAN THE REST OF

US HOPE TO PROTECT OURSELVES.

>> HACKERS ARE LIKE SNOW

FLAKES.

NO TWO ARE ALIKE AND THEY

WANT TO DESTROY YOU.

SO THE FIRST STEP IS TO

IDENTIFY WHAT TYPE OF HACKER

ARE YOU DEALING WITH.

KNOW YOUR ENEMY.

>> Jon: HOW CAN WE KNOW

THEM.

>> YOU CAN'T KNOW THEM.

>> Jon: OH.

>> THEY'RE ANONYMOUS THAT IS

THEIR NAME A NONMUSS.

ANOTHER BIG GROUP IS LULZ

SECURITY.

THE HACKTIVIKTS BELIEVES ALL

INFORMATION SHOULD BE FREE

AND NOTHING STRIKES FEAR

INTO HEARTS LIKE AN

EDWARDIAN OENOPHILE DANDY.

>> Jon: YOU DON'T LOVE THE

LOGO.

>> I LOVE IT.

PLEASE DON'T HACK ME.

YOU SEEM AFRAID.

>> THEY ARE VERY TOUCHY AND

THEY ATTACK WHEN THEY ARE

MAD WHICH BRINGS THE FIRST

SOLUTION, FLATTERY.

CHECK OUT THE HACKERS AT ALL

TIME.

DO WHATEVER IT TAKES TO KEEP

THEM HAPPY.

IT IS THE ONLY THING THAT

KEEPED MY ETSY STOREFRONT

SAFE FROM BEING HACKED.

>> Jon: YOU HAVE AN ETSY

STOREFRONT.

>> SURE.

>> Jon: WHAT DO YOU SELL.

>> STEAMPUNK CYLONS, OF

COURSE.

(LAUGHTER)

IT'S THE ULTIMATE INTERNET

PRODUCT.

ONLY $60 BUT OF COURSE, FREE

FOR HACKERS.

>> Jon: I DON'T THINK ALL

HACKERS ARE DRIVEN BY

IDEOLOGY.

SOME ARE JUST THIEVES.

>> EXACTLY.

WHILE TO PROTECT YOURSELF

FROM IDEAOLOGICAL HACKERS I

ADVISE YOU TO BACK UP YOUR

PERSONAL INFORMATION TO

PROTECT YOURSELF FROM

CYBURGLARS, I SUGGEST YOU

BACK UP YOUR MONEY.

>> Jon: HOW DO YOU BACK UP

YOUR MONEY.

>> BACK UP YOUR MONEY.

BEFORE YOU SEND YOUR HARD

EARNED CASH TO SOME EASILY

HACKABLE ELECTROBANK, ARE

YOU GOING TO WANT TO MAKE A

HARD COPY.

NOW LOOK, I HAVE THESE

BACKUP DOLLARS THAT I MADE

AT KINKOS.

THIS IS ALL MY MONEY SAFE

AND SOUND, RIGHT HERE IN

FRONT OF ME.

>> Jon: THIS IS JUST

COUNTERFEIT NONE, THESE ARE

COPIES OF MY OWN DOLLAR

BILLS THAT I USE TO BUY

GOODS AND SERVICES.

HERE, HAVE A ROLL OF

QUARTERS, JON.

YOU'LL HAVE TO CUT THEM OUT

BEFORE YOU SEND THEM.

>> VERY GENEROUS NOW.

YOUR FIREWALL OF SARCASM AND

DISTAKEN TO PROTECT YOU FROM

THE CYBERSPIES.

HACKERS WORKING FOR PORN

GOVERNMENT.

>> BUT IF CHINA DECIDED TO

ATTACK THE PENTAGON SERVICE

THERE IS NOTHING AN

INDIVIDUAL CAN DO.

>> NOT IF THAT INDIVIDUAL IS

YOU, JON.

BUT ELITE USERS LIKE ME CAN

GO INTO THE SYSTEM, JACK

INTO THE GRID.

AND TAKE ON THESE HACKERS ON

THEIR OWN TURF.

PLEASE WATCH MY PAPER MONEY,

JON, I'M GOING TO ZIP LINE

INTO THE INFO CLOUD.

>> LAUNCHING A BRUTE FORCE

ATTACK ON PENTAGON.GOV.

>> ALREADY ON THE COMPUTER.

CONTROL ALT DELETE.

(LAUGHTER)

I'M BACK.

>> Jon: THAT WAS EXCITING.

WAS THAT A FRISBEE TAPED TO

YOUR CHEST.

>> NO, THAT WAS AN IDENTITY

DISK THAT I MADE FROM A

FRISBEE.

AND IF YOU WOULD LIKE THE

NITED STEAMPUNK VERSION YOU

CAN BUY IT ON MY ETSY SITE.

>> Jon: THANK YOU VERY MUCH,

Loading...