World's Greatest Father

  • Aired:  09/16/13
  •  | Views: 44,207

Inspired by Pope Francis, John Oliver envisions a day when the old will be replaced by the new. (5:13)

>> Jon: WELCOME BACK.

EVERYBODY KNOWS NEW POPEFRANCIS IS A HUMBLER,

GENTLER POPE. WITH THE WASHINGOF HIS FOLLOWERS' FEET, THE

SLEEPING IN A SMALL APARTMENT,REFUSING TO USE

THE POPEMOBILE WHENCOMMUTING, YEAH, THAT'S

RIGHT.

BOTTOM LINE IS THIS NEW POPEIS SUPERCHILLIN TOTES LOW

KEY.

UNLIKE THE LAST POPE CAPTAINFLASHY PANTS WITH HIS LAS

VEGAS STYLE INTRO MUSIC.

♪ .

>> Jon: THAT IS KIND OFCOOL.

I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE DIGGINGTHIS NEW POPE.

>> IN THE SIX MONTHS HE'SBEEN POPE, CROWDS HAVE

QUADRUPLED DRAWN BY HIS WARMAND WELCOMING STYLE AND A

NEW OPENNESS.

>> Jon: IT'S POPE MANIA.

AND HIS FIRST ALBUM HASN'TEVEN DROPPED YET.

(LAUGHTER)THE POINT IS THIS FRANCIS IS

A DIFFERENT KIND OF POPE.

BUT I DON'T THINK UNTILRECENTLY WE KNEW JUST HOW

DIFFERENT.

>> ON THE ONCE TABOOSUBJECT OF HOMOSEXUALITY

FRANCIS TOLD REPORTERS IFSOMEONE IS GAY AND SEARCHES FOR

THE LORD AND HAS GOODWILL,WHO AM I TO JUDGE.

>> THE POPE IS REACHING OUTTO ATHEISTS AND AGNOSTICS.

POPE FRANCIS SAYS GOD WILLFORGIVE THEM IF THEY LIVE

MORALLY AND FOLLOW THEIRCONSCIENCE.

>> A TOP AID TO POPE FRANCISDID HINT THAT THE CHURCH

COULD REEVALUATE ITS POLICYON PRIESTLY CELIBACY.

>> Jon: I LOVE THIS GUY.

SO TO SUM IT UP, LET ME GETTHIS STRAIGHT.

GAYS ARE COOL, PRIESTS CANGET MARRIED AND YOU DON'T

EVEN HAVE TO BELIEVE IN GODTO GET INTO HEAVEN.

WHAT EXACTLY OF CATHOLICISMIS LEFT.

YOU TAKE AWAY JESUS ANDCELIBACY, THE CATHOLIC

CHURCH IS JUST AN ORNATERESTAURANT THAT ONLY SERVES

WAFERS.

I MEAN IT'S-- IT'S LIKECATHOLICISM'S CORE TENET IS

SUDDENLY-- YOU DO YOU,THAT'S ALL.

(APPLAUSE)BUT IF YOU ARE OLD SCHOOL,

AND YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITHTHAT, DON'T CALL POPE

FRANCIS.

HE'LL CALL YOU.

>> RECENTLY FRANCIS REACHEDOUT TO THE FAITHFUL IN A

SURPRISING WAY.

>> NOW HE'S TAKING TOPICKING UP THE PHONE AND

CALLING PEOPLE OUT OF THEBLUE.

>> Jon: BY THE WAY, IF THEPOPE CALLS THE WRONG NUMBER,

DOES HE ADMIT IT.

OR DOES HE SAY YOU KNOW,DOES HE SAY SORRY, HOLY

FATHER YOU HAVE THE WRONGNUMBER.

DOES HE SAY NO, I'M INFALLABLE.

YOU'RE IN THE WRONG HOUSE.

SO WHO-- WHO HAS THE POPEBEEN TALKING TO?

>> A WOMAN WHO SAID SHEFEARED RETALIATION AFTER

REPORTING BEING RAPED BY APOLICEMAN-- .

>> Jon: WOW, THAT'S INTENSE.

I'M GLAD THAT THE POPE WASTHERE FOR HER.

>> A MAN ANGRY WITH GODAFTER HIS BROTHER HAD BEEN

MURDERED.

>> Jon: I CAN'T EVEN IMAGINETHE PAIN, GREAT WORK.

>> ANOTHER YOUNG MAN WORRIEDABOUT FINDING A JOB AFTER HE

GRADUATED.

(LAUGHTER)OBVIOUSLY I DON'T WANT TO

TELL YOU HOW TO DO YOUR JOB.

BUT THAT LAST ONE SOUNDSLIKE A BISHOP LEVEL CALL.

(LAUGHTER)I'M GLAD YOU'RE REACHING

OUT.

THERE IS A PRETTY STEEPDROP OFF BETWEEN DEATH AS A

PART OF LIFE AND HAVE YOUTHOUGHT ABOUT AN INTERNSHIP?

(LAUGHTER)I GOT TO SAY, I KIND OF FEEL

BAD FOR FRANCIS'PREDECESSOR POPE BENEDICT

WHO AS YOU REMEMBER ISSTILL ALIVE AND I BELIEVE

LIVING INSIDE THE VATICAN.

I MEAN HE HAS TO SIT THEREAND WATCH POPE FRANCIS CRUSH

IT.

>> I QUITE AGREE, JOHN.

I QUITE AGREE.

I COULDN'T AGREE MORE.

>> Jon: HOW DID YOU -->> WELL, IT'S ALWAYS SO SAD,

ISN'T IT JOHN, TO SEE AN OLDMAN DECADES PAST HIS PRIME

BE BESTED BY A NEWER,FRESHER FACE, A FACE BATHED IN

THE LIGHT OF AN ADORING ANDOCCASIONALLY QUADRUPLED

AUDIENCE NIGHT AFTER NIGHT.

>> Jon: WHAT?

>> NIGHT AFTER NIGHT AFTERNIGHT, AN OLD MAN, JON,

WHILE THE OLD MAN WITHERSCOLD AND ALONE DIRECTING A

MOVIE IN JORDAN.

POOR BENEDICT.

>> Jon: I DON'T RECALL THEPOPE DIRECTING A MOVIE.

>> OH, OOPSY, MY MISTAKE.

PERHAPS I'M THINKING OFANOTHER SIMILAR YET EQUALLY

AS INEVITABLE SITUATION.

>> Jon: WHAT!

>> OH, I DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING,JON.

PERHAPS WHAT YOU HEARD WASMERELY THE SWEEPING WINDS OF

TIME, WASHING AWAY THE OLD,USHERING IN THE NEW.

(LAUGHTER)>> Jon: HOW DID YOU GET BACK

THERE?

>> I'VE ALWAYS BEEN HERE,JON.

WAITING, JUST WAITING AND BYHERE I MEAN LITERALLY OVER

HERE LIKE-- SIX FEET AWAYFROM YOU, JON.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)SIX FEET AWAY FROM YOU.

>> Jon: I'M JUST GOING TO GOTO COMMERCIAL THEN, IF

THAT'S ALL RIGHT.

I'M JUST GOING GO TOCOMMERCIAL.

>> HELLO, JON, YES, HELLO.

>> Jon: WHAT?

I'M JUST GOING GO TOCOMMERCIAL THEN.

>> OH, A COMMERCIAL, FINE,GOOD IDEA, ONE OF US WILL BE

RIGHT BACK.

FOR NOW.

MAHA HA, MAHA HA HA.

>> Jon: WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

IS THAT-

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