The Most Busted Name in News

  • Aired:  04/17/13
  •  | Views: 595,950

CNN's exclusive report on an arrest in the Boston Marathon bombing was exclusive because it was completely f**king wrong. (5:47)

>> Jon: HEY, WELCOME TO THE

DAILY SHOW.

MY NAME IS JON STEWART.

WE HAVE A GOOD SHOW FOR YOU ON

THIS EVENING.

VERY, VERY GOOD SHOW FOR YOU.

MY GUEST TONIGHT IS A YOUNG MAN

NAMED RICKY GERVAIS

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

HE'S HERE TO PROMOTE... HE'S

HERE TO PROMOTE I THINK A NEW

LINE OF RICKY GERVAIS BLACK

TEE-SHIRTS-WE'RE EXCITED TO HAVE

HIM AND CREATINE.

BEFORE WE START, THIS IS

INCREDIBLE.

A HUGE BREAK COMING OUT OF

BOSTON.

>> THIS IS CNN'S BREAKING NEWS.

WOLF, WE HAVE INFORMATION AN

ARREST HAS BEEN MADE IN THE

INVESTIGATION HERE IN BOSTON.

>> THE SUSPECT WAS IDENTIFIED

HAS NOW BEEN ARRESTED.

>> I WAS TOLD BY A BOSTON LAW

ENFORCEMENT SOURCE WE GOT HIM.

>> Jon: [BLEEP] I CAN'T... YOU

KNOW, SO MANY PEOPLE, THIS IS SO

IMPORTANT.

SO MANY PEOPLE ARE GOING TO BE

READING THIS TONIGHT.

GIVE ME THE DETAILS.

THIS IS EXCITING.

>> FEDERAL LAW ENFORCEMENT

SOURCE SAYS AN ARREST HAS BEEN

MADE BASE ON TWO DIFFERENT

VIDEOS SHOWING IMAGES OF THE

SUSPECT.

THE VIDEO ENHANCEMENT SHOWED A

DARK-SKINNED MALE PLACING THE

PACKAGE AT THE SECOND ETION

PLOATION SITE AND BACKING AWAY

>> Jon: DARK SKINNED MALE.

BOY, WOW.

HOW DID THEY NARROW THAT DOWN?

THAT COULD BE ANYBODY FROM

DENNIS RODMAN TO GEORGE

HAMILTON.

I MEAN, HE COULD STILL... OR

MAYBE BROOKLYN ASSEMBLYMAN.

SO, BOY, THAT'S... WOW.

BUT, YOU KNOW, THEY HAD A

TREMENDOUS AMOUNT OF

INFORMATION.

MORE IMPORTANTLY...

>> WE'RE GETTING SOME EXCLUSIVE

INFORMATION FROM CNN'S JOHN

KING.

YOU'RE WORKING YOUR SOURCES.

YOU'RE GETTING MORE INFORMATION.

EXCLUSIVE REPORTING.

YOU HEARD THIS DRAMATIC

EXCLUSIVE REPORTING THAT JOHN

HAS DONE NOW.

>> Jon: YOU KNOW WHAT?

>> Jon: YOU KNOW WHAT?

THIS IS WHY YOU TURN TO CNN IN A

CRISIS.

YOU KNOW, WE MAKE FUN OF THEM

SOMETIMES.

WE DO.

WE TELL JOKES AT THEIR EXPENSE.

BUT OBVIOUSLY BECAUSE THEY'VE

GOT THE BOOTS ON THE GROUND AND

THEY CAN DO THE REPORTING, YOU

KNOW, AS ONE OF THEIR

COMPETITORS I GUESS WE JUST GET

A LITTLE JEALOUS.

OF THESE KINDS OF EXCLUSIVES.

ALTHOUGH WE SOON LEARNED THERE

WAS A VERY GOOD REASON WHY THIS

WAS EXCLUSIVE.

>> THERE HAS BEEN NO ARREST.

AND, IN FACT, A SUSPECT HAS NOT

BEEN IDENTIFIED BY NAME YET.

>> Jon: OH, IT'S EXCLUSIVE

BECAUSE IT WAS COMPLETELY

[BLEEP] WRONG.

THAT'S WHY.

IT WAS EXCLUSIVE.

JUST OUT OF CURIOSITY DID ANY OF

YOUR SOURCES END THEIR TIP-OFF

TO YOU WITH THE PHRASE

"BA-BA-BOOY."

HOWARD STERN'S PEANUTS.

I DON'T KNOW IF YOU KNOW THIS.

THAT'S A CODE FOR A VERY FAMOUS

RADIO PERSONALITY.

SO CNN, WAS THERE ALSO ANY

PERHAPS MORE CREDIBLE SOURCE

WITH WHAT THEY CALL FACTUAL

INFORMATION.

>> THIS FEDERAL LAW ENFORCEMENT

SOURCE HAS JUST COMMUNICATED

WITH A SIGNIFICANT PROGRESS HAS

BEEN MADE BUT NO ARREST.

ANYONE WHO SAYS AN ARREST IS

AHEAD OF THEMSELVES.

( APPLAUSE )

>> Jon: I THINK THEY'RE TALKING

ABOUT YOU.

WHEN YOU WROTE IT, DID YOU GO

[BLEEP].

IN THE SPACE OF, I DON'T KNOW,

AN AFTERNOON, THIS SUSPECT WENT

FROM DEFINITELY CAUGHT AND

HEADED TO FEDERAL COURT TO

(BREATHING HEAVILY) NEVER

EXISTED.

IT'S LIKE A NEWS STORY AS

IMAGINED BY M. NIGHT SHAMALAYAN.

HERE'S THE BEST PART.

HERE'S THE BEST PART ABOUT THE

WHOLE THING.

JOHN KING EXCLUSIVELY REPORTS AN

ARREST HAS BEEN MADE AND THEN

CAPS IT AN HOUR LATER WITH THE

NEWS THAT THE F.B.I. WOULD

PREFER HIM TO ENJOY A HOT CUP OF

SHUT THE [BLEEP] UP.

AND CNN FILLS THE ENTIRE

AFTERNOON IN BETWEEN THOSE

BOOKENDS WITH THIS.

>> THERE'S CLEARLY SOMETHING

AFOOT TODAY.

NOW YOU HAVE PEOPLE WHO ARE OUT

THERE PULLING BACK SOME.

>> WE'RE GETTING CONFLICTING

REPORTS ABOUT AN ARREST.

>> THERE HAS BEEN A

MISUNDERSTANDING.

>> AT THIS POINT IT APPEARS THE

PEOPLE WHO HAVE BEEN RELIABLE

SOURCES TO US THE PAST 48 HOURS

EITHER WERE GIVING US INACCURATE

INFORMATION OR GOT OUT AHEAD ON

THEMSELVES.

>> THERE'S BEEN A LOT OF

CONFUSION.

>> WE DON'T KNOW WHAT'S RIGHT OR

NOT RIGHT.

AS ANDERSON SAID YOU DON'T WANT

TO GO DOWN THE ROAD OF

SPECULATION WRONGFULLY

>> Jon: THAT'S WHAT YOU WERE

DOING.

YOU SPENT AN HOUR DEBATING THE

MERITS OF YOUR OWN FICTION.

SEE, WE'RE ACCUSTOMED TO 24 NEWS

NETWORKS THRIVING ON CONFLICTS.

GENERALLY THAT CONFLICT IS

BETWEEN TWO OUTSIDE PARTIES.

CNN'S REPORTERS HAVE DISCOVERED

THAT THEY CAN REMOVE THE

MIDDLEMAN.

AND SPEND HOURS OF PROGRAMMING

FIGHTING AMONGST THEMSELVES.

THEY HAVE FIGURED OUT A WAY TO

[BLEEP] IN THEIR OWN MOUTH.

CNN HAS BECOME THE HUMAN SENT

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