Leader's Digest - Great Britain

  • Aired:  08/07/13
  •  | Views: 25,685

In an effort to fight child pornography, the British government takes steps to limit access to all pornography. (3:12)

SINGLE BANGA.

ONE LAST SHOT AT THE GLOBAL.

WHO ARE WE GOING TO GET?

GREAT BRITAIN.

YOU HAVE TO WORK BETTER THAN

THAT.

YOU HAVE TO WORK BETTER.

GREAT BRITAIN.

GREAT BRITAIN, LAND THAT I LEFT.

SO WHAT IS HAPPENING AT NUMBER

10 DOWNING STREET?

THE BRITISH PRIME MINISTER DAVID

CAMERON, MEANWHILE, CRACKING

DOWN ON INTERNET PORNOGRAPHY.

>> John: HE'S DOING WHAT?

WHERE'S MY PASSPORT?

I'M SETTING FIRE TO IT.

HOW ON EARTH ARE YOU SUPPOSED

TOIN' JACK IF DESTROY ALL THE

UK'S POPULAR PORNOGRAPHIC SITES,

RIGHT?

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

I'M TALKING ABOUT SITES SUCH AS

DOUBLE-DECKER BANG BUS.

( BLEEP ) PALACE.

YOU'LL NOTICE THAT OUR FAKE NAME

WEB SITE THERE IS

( BLEEP )PALACE.NET AND THAT'S

BECAUSE THE DOT-COM AND DOT UK

VERSION HAD BEEN TAKEN BUT THE

DOT NET VERSION BELONGS TO US.

IN CASE YOU'RE WONDERING,

BEEFEATERS.COM ALSO EXISTS BUT

IT SELLS DOG TREATS.

THEES A FACT.

THAT'S A FACT.

NOW DAVID CAMERON'S PROPOSED BAN

IS DISIEPPED TO COMBAT CHILD

PORNOGRAPHY, WHICH EVERYONE,

EVERYONE IS IN FAVOR OF A BAN

FOR THAT.

UNFORTUNATELY, THE EFFECT OF THE

LAW WILL BE TO SHUT OFF ALL

PORNOGRAPHY TO BRITISH PEOPLE

AND THIS IS HOW IT'S GOING TO

WORK.

>> THERE ARE SOME SEARCHES WHERE

PEOPLE SHOULD BE GIVEN CLEAR

ROUTES OUT OF THAT SEARCH TO

LEGITIMATE SITES ON THE WEB.

LET ME GIVE YOU AN EXAMPLE.

IF SOMEONE IS TYPING IN "CHILD"

AND "SEX" THERE SHOULD COME UP A

LIST OF OPTIONS.

"DO YOU MEAN CHILD SEX

EDUCATION?

DO YOU MEAN CHILD GENDER?"

SIMILARLY DONKEY PUNCH WILL

PRODUCE WHOLESOME VIDEOS OF

DONKEYS BEING PUNCHED IN FACE.

ALSO, CLEVELAND STEAMER OF

PRODUCE IMAGES OF A STEAMSHIP ON

THE GLORIOUS OHIO RIVER TAKING A

DUMP ON SOMEONE.

TO BE FAIR TO THE BRITISH

LEADER, THERE IS A BUILT-IN WE

AROUND THIS BAN.

>> ALL INTERNET USERS WILL HAVE

TO SAY CL WEATHER THEY WANT TO

HAVE ACCESS TO PORN.

>> YOU HAVE TO OPT IN, NOT OPT

OUT.

>> John: SEE?

ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS TELL YOUR

SERVICE PROVIDER YOU WANT PORN,

AND THAT WILL GIVE YOU PORN.

IT'S SIMPLE.

WHICH LEADS ME TO MY NEW ONE-MAN

SHOW "A BRITISH PERSON ORDERS

PORNOGRAPHY."

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

( CLEARS THROAT )

HELLO?

IS THIS THE INTERNET DIVISION?

SORRY TO BE A BOTHER.

I WAS JUST WONDERING IF I

COULD-- TO-- IF YOU COULD FLIP

THE SWITCH THAT MAKES THE UM--

WHEN A MAN AND WOMAN LOVE EACH

OTHER VERY MUCH, LESS LOVE, MORE

TRANSACTION-- YES, YES.

THE SPANKINGS PACKAGE.

THAT IS WHAT I WANT.

THAT'S WHAT I'M CALLING FOR.

THANK YOU, A GOOD DAY TO YOU

SIR.

I SAID GOOD DAY!

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

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