Corporations of a Shopaholic

  • Aired:  07/22/14
  •  | Views: 176,255

Rupert Murdoch's plan to acquire Time Warner puts CNN at risk, leading The Daily Show to launch a Kickstarter campaign at www.LetsBuyCNN.com to save the news organization. (3:31)

TURNING FROM AN ANGRY OLD MANWHOSE ABSOLUTE WRONGNESS HAS

WROUGHT GREAT DAMAGE ON THISWORLD TO AN ANGRY OLD MAN WHOSE

BRILLIANT ACUMEN HAS WROUGHTGREAT DAMAGE ON THIS WORLD.

>> THE BILLIONAIRE WHO DOESN'TLIKE TO TAKE NO FOR AN ANSWER.

>> Jon: RUPERT MURDOCH IS INTHE NEWS.

WHAT DID HE DO NOW? PUBLISHROYAL UPSKIRTS? PHONE HACK

ORPHANS? EAT A DINGO WHO HADJUST RECENTLY EATEN A BABY?

>> RUPERT MURDOCH PUTTIME WARNER ON HIS WISH

LIST. THE MEDIA MOGUL OFFERED$80 BILLION FOR THE

COMMUNICATIONS GIANT.

>> HOW MUCH MORE MEDIA CAN ONEDUDE ACTUALLY OWN? THE GUY OWNS

OVER 120 NEWSPAPERS AND MEDIAOUTLETS.

IF HE BUYS TIME WARNER, NEWSWILL JUST BE [BLEEP] RUPERT

MURDOCH THINKS. EVEN CNN,SUBSIDIARY OF TIME WARNER

IS IMPRESSED BY THEAUDACIOUSNESS OF THIS PLAY,

ALBEIT SLIGHTLY PASSIVEAGGRESSIVELY.

>> WHY IS HE DOING THIS RIGHTNOW?

>> HE IS OLD, BUT HE'S SHARP ASA TACK, HIS PHYSICAL APPEARANCE

DOES NOT MATCH HIS MENTALACUITY.

HE'S WORTH $13.9 BILLION.

HE'S 83 YEARS OLD.

>> Jon: I MEAN, HE'S A GREATBUSINESSMAN, BUT HE FARTS DUST.

I MEAN, HE'S GOT FACE LIKE AROTTING PUMPKIN, BUT HE'S

CHARMING. I MEAN,[LAUGHTER]

THE GUY'S LIKE "SPONGEBATHNEWSPANTS."

WHEN CAN WE EXPECT THE TAKEOVERTO GO THROUGH?

>> TIME WARNER SAID NO TO RUPERTMURDOCH'S $80 BILLION PROPOSAL.

>> Jon: OH, SNAP.

OF COURSE, THIS BEING TIMEWARNER, I BET THEY TOLD HIM TO

WAIT AT HOME FOR THEIR ANSWERBETWEEN NOON AND 6:00 P.M.

SO I GUESS IT'S ALL OVER.

>> RUPERT MURDOCH IS NOT GOINGTO GIVE UP.

>> ONCE HE WANTS SOMETHING, HEDOES HIS DAMNEDEST TO REALLY TRY

AND GET IT.

>> REMEMBER, HE BID FOR DOWJONES, THE OWNER OF THE "WALL

STREET JOURNAL." AND HE BID ANDTHEY SAID NO...

>> GOT TURNDED DOWN.

>> AND HE CAME BACK AND HE CAMEBACK AND HE GOT IT.

>> Jon: HE'S LIKE THE DATERAPIST OF MEDIA BARONS,

WITH ALL DUE RESPECT.

AND WHAT OF FAIR CNN?

>> FOX WOULD HAVE TO SELL CNNFROM TIME WARNER'S ROSTER

BECAUSE IT COMPETES WITH THE FOXNEWS CHANNEL.

>> CNN WOULD BE DIVESTED, SOLDTO SOME OTHER COMPANY, SOME

OTHER BIDDER.

>> Jon: YES.

[LAUGHTER]NOW, OF COURSE, IT WOULDN'T COME

CHEAP, THOUGH, WITH ANALYSTSSAYING THE NETWORK WOULD BE

WORTH ABOUT $10 BILLION ON THEOPEN MARKET.

IT'S A LOT OF MONEY FORANYONE, BUT NOT A LOT OF MONEY

FOR EVERYONE, WHICH IS WHYTONIGHT WE'RE STARTING OUR KICK

STARTER CAMPAIGN TO BUY CNN.

YOU CAN BUY IT ATLET'SBUYCNN.COM.

YOU KNOW HOW THIS WORKS.

IF YOU WANT TO SEE THIS HAPPEN,YOU MAKE A PLEDGE FOR WHATEVER

YOU'RE COMFORTABLE WITH $5,$10.

JUST KEEP IN MIND, WE NEED $10BILLION.

WE'VE GOT SOME VERY ATTRACTIVEREWARDS AT EVERY LEVEL.

FOR INSTANCE, $10,000LANDS YOU IN A SIGNATURE

CNN MASS SHOOTING COVERAGE 6BOX.

FOR $25,000, YOU GET TO TAKEMOLLY WITH FAREED ZAKARIA.

FOR $5 MILLION, CNN WILL AIR A24-HOUR, TWO-WEEK HUNT FOR YOUR

LOST CAR KEYS.

INCLUDING MARTIN SAVIDGE IN AFULL YOUR COUCH SIMULATOR.

BUT KEEP IN MIND, WE NEED $10BILLION.

NOW, YOU'RE PROBABLY WONDERING,SUPPOSE YOU ACTUALLY RAISE

ENOUGH MONEY, WHAT ARE YOUGOING TO WITH CNN?

WELL, FOR STARTERS, WE'RE GOINGTO GET BACK TO ITS ROOTS, START

SHOWING MUSIC VIDEOS AGAIN LIKEIN THE '80s.

THAT'S -- OKAY.

I'M BEING TOLD THAT WAS MTV.

[LAUGHTER]ANOTHER POINT FOR McCAIN.

ANYWAY, HOPEFULLY THIS CAMPAIGNWILL BE MORE SUCCESSFUL THAN MY

WOLF BLITZER KICKSTOPPER.

AS FAR AS I KNOW HE HAS NOT YETBEEN STOPPED.

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

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