You Stuck What Where Now?

  • Aired:  04/03/13
  •  | Views: 55,876

Unbeknownst to most of Congress, a committee sneaks legislation protecting genetically modified food into an unrelated budget bill. (4:18)

COMEDY CENTRAL

>> Jon: WELCOME TO "THE DAILY SHOW".

MY NAME IS JON STEWART.

GOOD PROGRAM TONIGHT.

WE'VE GOT A GREAT ONE.

OUR DWEFT TONIGHT IS AN AUTHOR AND THE FACEBOOK COO SHERYL SANDBERG.

SHE HAS A NEW LOOK "LEAN IN." THE STUDY OF BODY LANGUAGE STRATEGIES.

I'LL BE DOING THIS.

[ LAUGHTER ]

MEANWHILE GREAT NEWS FROM WASHINGTON.

CONGRESS RECENTLY PASSED AND PRESIDENT OBAMA SIGNED A CONTINUING RESOLUTION TO FUND

THE GOVERNMENT ALL THE WAY THROUGH SEPTEMBER.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

OUR GOVERNMENT -- OUR GOVERNMENT IS NO LONGER LIVING MONTH TO MONTH.

WE'RE NOW LIVING SIX 340S TO SIX MONTHS.

[LAUGHTER]

WHAT IS NOT TO LIKE ABOUT THAT?

>> BURIED DEEP WITHIN THE PAGES OF THAT BILL IS A CONTROVERSIAL PIECE OF LEGISLATION THAT WOULD

KEEP THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT FROM BANNING THE SALE OF GENETICALLY MODIFIED FOODS.

>> Jon: WHAT THE -- WAIT -- WHAT?

WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THAT SENATOR POPPING J. CORNARMS?

[LAUGHTER]

I WANT YOU GUYS TO ALL BE READY FOR THIS NEXT ONE AND LET ME APOLOGIZE IN ADVANCE.

YOU KNOW HE IS A RETIRED KERNEL.

[LAUGHTER]

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

IT'S OKAY, I'LL LET MYSELF OUT.

IT DOESN'T KEEP THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT FROM BANNING THE GENETICALLY MODIFIED FOODS BUT

IF THERE'S A COURT CHALLENGE OR INJUNCTION ON THE SELLING OF FOODS, THE DEPARTMENT OF

AGRICULTURE HAS TO ALLOW A COMPANY LIKE MONTSANTO, IF THEY WANT, TO CONTINUE SELLING THE CROP.

THE REPEALING SOYBEANS, YOUR MEAT CARROT, YOUR TOMATO THAT WILL THROW ITSELF AT BAD ENTERTAINMENT.

[ LAUGHTER ]

LET'S AT LEAST HEAR SOME OF CONGRESS'S NO DOUBT ROBUST DISCUSSION ON THIS CONTROVERSIAL AMENDMENT.

>> CRITICS ARE ANGRY BUT HOW IT WAS PASSED.

SNUCK INTO A HUGE AGRICULTURAL BILL WITHOUT REVIEW BY A COMMITTEE.

[ LAUGHTER ]

>> Jon: SOMEONE JUST ATTACHED THIS LANGUAGE PROTECTING GENETICALLY MODIFIED FOOD MAKERS

INTO A BIGGER UNRELATED BILL LIKE THE SAME WAY IF YOU WANTED TO BUY A PARTICULARLY NASTY

PORNO YOU MIGHT SLIP IT UNDER SOME -- LET ME GET SOME MOUNTAIN DEW AND FALL HER'S ALMANAC AND

MAYBE TO THROW EVERYONE OFF THE SCENT WHAT ARE THOSE FLEET ENEMAS?

I'LL TAKE THOSE AND PROTECTIONS FOR THE AGRA BUSINESS.

PUT IT IN A BAG.

HOW DOES CONGRESS LET THIS HAPPEN?

>> THE LAW PASSED BOUT MOST OF CONGRESS EVEN KNOWING ABOUT IT.

[LAUGHTER]

>> Jon: CONGRESS DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT A LAW THEY THEMSELVES PASSED?

SO CONGRESS IS NOW OPERATING WITH THE SAME LEVEL OF SELF AWARENESS AS A FLATULENT GRANDPA.

WHAT?

WHAT?

WHERE IS EVERYBODY GOING?

[LAUGHTER]

WHAT IS THAT?

IF ONLY ONE LAWMAKER HAD CALLED OUT THE SO CALLED MONSANTO AMENDMENT PUBLICLY, BROUGHT IT

TO THE ATTENTION OF THE OTHER LAWMAKERS SAIRK A SENATOR FROM MONTANA JOHN TESTER.

>> THE SECOND PROVISION SENT OVER FROM THE HOUSE TELLS THE USDA TO IGNORE ANY JUDICIAL

RULING REGARDING THE PLANTING OF GENETICALLY MODIFIED CROPS.

THEY ARE GIVEAWAYS PURE AND SIMPLE.

THEY DESERVE NO PLACE IN THIS BILL.

WE HAVE TO DO A BETTER JOB ON POLICY AND PROCESS.

>> Jon: I SEE THE PROBLEM HERE: THE OTHER LEGISLATORS DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT IT BECAUSE

SENATOR TESTER BROUGHT IT UP ON THE SENATE FLOOR IN FRONT OF ALL OF THEM.

PERHAPS IF HE HAD WRITTEN IT IN THE MEMO

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