DOMA Sweet DOMA

  • Aired:  08/17/11
  •  | Views: 50,662

Rick Santorum makes an analogy between paper towels and gay marriage, and the Obama administration enforces, rather than defends, the Defense of Marriage Act. (4:21)

>> Jon: WELCOME BACK.

AS YOU KNOW, IN 1996,

THEN-PRESIDENT CLINTON SIGNED

INTO LAW THE DEFENSE OF MARRIAGE

ACT OR NAMBLA... DOMBLA,

WHATEVER.

IT STIMULATED THE FEDERAL

GOVERNMENT WOULD ONLY LEGALLYAGE

KNOWLEDGE MARRIAGES BETWEEN ONE

MAN AND ONE WOMAN.

IT WAS ONE OF HIS

ADMINISTRATION'S PROUDEST

MOMENT, WHICH IS WHY HE

SIGNINGED IT AT 12:50 A.M. ON A

FRIDAY NIGHT.

THAT'S BILL CLINTON FOR YOU,

STAYING UP LATE IN THE OVAL

OFFICE DEFENDING MARRIAGE.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

BUT I THANK GOD HE DID.

I THANK GOD THAT HE DID, BECAUSE

SINCE THEN THE LINES AROUND ONE

MAN-ONE WOMAN MARRIAGE HAVE

BECOME BLURRIER, SOMETHING

PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE AND

MOTIVATIONAL FOOD COURT SPEAKER

RICK SANTORUM KNOWS ALL TOO

WELL.

>> MARRIAGE EXISTED BEFORE

GOVERNMENT EXISTED.

I CAN CALL THIS NAPKIN A PAPER

TOWEL, BUT IT IS NAPKIN.

WHY?

BECAUSE IT IS WHAT IT IS.

RIGHT?

[LAUGHTER]

>> Jon: AND WHILE NAPKINS AND

PAPER TOWELS ARE NOUNS,

IMMUTABLE OBJECTS AND MARRIAGE

IS AND HAS ALWAYS BEEN A SOCIAL

CONCEPT THAT'S BEEN REDEFINED BY

MANY DIFFERENT SOCIETIES

THROUGHOUT THE AGE, ORIGINALLY

BEING A PROPERTY AGREEMENT, HIS

POINT IS WELL TAKEN.

IT'S THE SLIPPERY SLOPE

ARGUMENT.

IF PEOPLE START USING PAPER

TOWELS AS NAPKINS, WHAT'S NEXT?

SLEEVES, DRAPES, MOUTH-ON-DOG

WIPING?

[LAUGHTER]

MORAL CHAOS!

YOU KNOW WHAT ACTUALLY, THAT

NAPKIN NAIL JOY WAS STUPID --

ANALOGY WAS STUPID.

GIVE ME A DIFFERENT ONE.

>> IT'S LIKE, YOU KNOW, HANGING

UP THIS AND SAYING THIS GLASS OF

WATER IS A GLASS OF BEER.

WELL, YOU CAN CALL IT A GLASS OF

BEER, BUT IT'S NOT A GLASS OF

BEER, IT'S A GLASS OF WATER, AND

WATER IS WHAT WATER IS.

>> Jon: YES, SENATOR.

AS A CHRISTIAN YOU WANT TO BASE

YOUR ARGUMENT AGAINST GAY

MARRIAGE ON THE IDEA THAT WATER

COULD NEVER BE TURNED INTO AN

ALCOHOLIC BEVERAGE.

[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]

VERY SMART.

VERY SMART.

BUT NOT THE POINT.

ONCE AGAIN THE AUDIENCE HAS

CLEARLY MISSED THE POINT.

[LAUGHTER]

THE POINT IS DOMA, DEFENSE OF

MARRIAGE ACT, IS ALL THAT STANDS

BETWEEN US AND THE INABILITY TO

DISTINGUISH BETWEEN BEER AND

WATER.

>> PRESIDENT OBAMA HAS ORDERED

THE JUSTICE DEPARTMENT TO STOP

DEFENDING THE CONSTITUTIONALITY

OF THE DEFENSE OF MARRIAGE ACT.

>> THE OBAMA ADMINISTRATION

ANNOUNCED THAT UNDER FEDERAL LAW

SAME-SEX MARRIAGES SHOULD BE

TREATED JUST LIKE TRADITIONAL

ONES.

>> Jon: WHAT?

NO!

THAT WOULD MEAN THAT AS OF NOW

MARRIAGE IS COMPLETELY

DEFENSELESS AND OPEN TO ATTACKS

FROM ALL KINDS OF MISCHIEF,

SOMETHING LIKE THIS.

>> THESE ARE PICTURES OF ANTHONY

MACK AND HIS HUSBAND BRADFORD

WELLS GETTING MARRIED SEVEN

YEARS AGO IN MASSACHUSETTS.

BUT ANTHONY, WHO YOU SEE THERE

ON THE RIGHT IN THESE PICTURES,

FACES DEPORTATION BACK TO HIS

NATIVE AUSTRALIA.

BRADFORD SUFFERS FROM ADVANCED

AIDS.

IF HIS HUSBAND IS DEPORTED, HE

LOSES HIS CAREGIVER, THE MAN WHO

HAS BEEN HIS LIFESAVER.

>> Jon: THIS INSIDIOUS PROCESS

OF ANCHOR NURSING MUST BE

STOPPED.

[LAUGHTER]

BUT WAIT A SECOND.

I THOUGHT OBAMA SAID HE WASN'T

DEFENDING THE DEFENSE OF

MARRIAGE ANYMORE.

SO WHY DOES THIS MAN HAVE TO

LEAVE HIS LEGALLY MARRIED

HUSBAND?

>> U.S. CITIZENSHIP AND

IMMIGRATION SERVICES TOLD CNN

AFFILIATE KDVU PURSUANT TO THE

ATTORNEY GENERAL'S GUIDANCE, THE

DEFENSE OF MARRIAGE ACT REMAINS

IN EFFECT AND THE EXECUTIVE

BRANCH, INCLUDING DHS, WILL

CONTINUE TO ENFORCE IT.

>> Jon: OH, THE BEST OF BOTH

WORLDS, THE ADMINISTRATION WON'T

DEFEND THE

Captioning sponsored by

INDEFENSIBLE.

THEY WILL, HOWEVER, ENFORCE THE

INDEFENSIBLE.

WHY?

DRACONIAN, CRUEL, LACKING IN

BASIC HUMANITY AND COMPASSION?

YES, BUT REMEMBER, THE GAYS WIN

THIS ONE, WHO IS TO SAY WHAT OUR

CHILDREN WILL BE WIPING THEIR

FACES WITH.

TOMORROW.

THANK YOU.

[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]

IT'S ALREADY HAPPENING!

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

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