Canadian Oilverlords

  • Aired:  06/09/11
  •  | Views: 89,028

Wyatt Cenac travels to the oil fields of Alberta to confront America's Canadian oilverlords. (4:57)

>> COMING UP ON THE SHOW,

OUR INSATIABLE SEARCH FOR

OIL HAS FORCED TO US DO

BUSINESS WITH SOME OF THE

WORLD'S POST DANGEROUS

REGIMES.

IT TURNS OUT THE MOST

DANGEROUS MAY BE CLOSER THAN

WE THINK.

WYATT CENAC HAS MORE.

>> WE'VE BEEN TOLD TIME AND

TIME AGAIN WE MUST GET OFF

FOREIGN OIL.

>> AMERICA'S DEPENDNESS ON

OIL IS ONE OF THE MOST

SERIOUS THREATS OUR NATION

FACES.

>> IT LEAVES US MORE

VULNERABLE TO HOSTILE

REGIMES AND TO TERRORISTS.

>> BUT IF WE'RE GOING TO GET

SERIOUS WE MUST EXAMINE THE

PLAYERS, PARTICULARLY THE

BIGGEST, MOST DANGEROUS

PLAYER OF ALL.

>> RIGHT NOW OUR LEADING

SUPPLIER OF IMPORTED OIL IS

CANADA.

>> THAT'S RIGHT, IT'S CANADA.

>> IT GIVES US ABOUT $2

MILLION BARRELS OF OIL A DAY

WHICH IS ABOUT TWICE AS MUCH

AS WE ARE CURRENTLY GETTING

FROM SAUDI ARABIA.

>> CANADA.

I KNEW IT.

FOR TOO LONG WE'VE COZIED UP

TO THEIR DICTATORS, OPENED

OUR BORDERS TO THEIR

MOST-- AND IGNORED THEIR

INSTITUTIONAL BRUTALITY,

AGAIN AND AGAIN AND

AGAIN-- OH, THAT'S GOT TO

HURT.

YES, BIT BY BIT CANADA IS

KILLING US.

>> I FLEW TO THE OIL FIELDS

OF ALBERTA TO CONFRONT OUR

CANADIAN OIL OVERLORDS.

>> WOULD YOU PREFER THAT I

CALL YOU SHEIKH OR WAR LORD

OR YOUR LORDSHIP.

>> I'M SENIOR VICE PRESIDENT

BUT YOU CAN JUST CALL ME

DREW.

>> WOULD YOU AGREE THAT

CANADA IS A BLOOD AND OIL

SOAKED --

>> NO CANADA IS A VERY

WELCOMING, WARM COUNTRY.

THERE IS NO REASON WE CAN'T

CONTINUE TO BE GREAT

NEIGHBORS.

>> SUCH ARROGANCE.

AND WORSE, IT'S AMERICAN

COMPANIES THAT ARE KEEPING

THESE OIL BARRONS IN

BUSINESS.

SOMEONE HAS TO SEND THEM A

MESSAGE.

>> FIRST QUESTION, WELL,

EVIL CANADA, WE'VE BEEN

DOING BUSINESS WITH CANADA

FOR MANY YEARS.

WE MAY HAVE SMALL

DIFFERENCES BUT WE ARE

REALLY CUT FROM THE SAME

CLOTH.

>> REALLY, YOU'RE OKAY WITH

CANADA?

>> CANADA'S FINE.

>> WELL, WHAT WOULD YOU DO

IF YOUR DAUGHTER HAD HER

HEALTH CARE PAID FOR BY THE

GOVERNMENT.

AS A FATHER HOW YOU COULD

LIVE WITH YOURSELF.

>> I COULD LIVE WITH THAT.

>> AND YOU CALL YOURSELF AN

AMERICAN.

>> YOU DISGUST ME, SIR.

ALSO, DO YOU HAVE SOME

KLEENEX BECAUSE I'M STARTING

TO CON GUIL A LITTLE BIT

HERE.

>> SURE THE PROPAGANDA

SOUNDS GREAT, UNTIL YOU TALK

TO THOSE WHO HAVE MANAGED TO

ESCAPE THE EVIL MAP EL

REGIME.

>> SO YOU ARE CANADIAN

REFUGEES.

>> AH, WE WERE BORN AND

RAISED IN TORONTO.

>> WHAT WAS IT LIKE LIVING

IN THAT REPRESSIVE REGIME.

>> OH, WHAT'S THIS SHOW ALL

ABOUT?

>> YEAH WHAT IS ABOUT IT?

>> IT'S THE DAILY SHOW WITH

JON STEWART.

>> OH.

>> THAT'S THAT SHOW WHERE

THEY MAKE YOU LOOK SILLY ON.

>> MAKE YOU LOOK STUPID.

>> WE'RE JUST A BUNCH OF

CANADIAN STOOGES.

>> NO, TAKEOFF, EH.

GO HOME, YANKEE, EH.

>> I FELT THAT SAME ANGER ON

THE CANADIAN STREET WHERE

AMERICA HAS BECOME THE

SCAPEGOAT FOR ALL OF

CANADA'S PROBLEMS.

>> WHY ARE YOU ANGRY AT

AMERICA?

>> A LOT OF REASONS.

NUMBER ONE, VANCOUVER

CANUCKS.

WE WANT THE IN ORDERIQUE

BACK.

YOU TOOK THE WIN BEG, THAT

WAS TOO MUCH.

BULLY SKOAL.

YOU A HOCKEY FAN.

>> NO, I'M AMERICAN.

>> HERE A NEW GENERATION OF

CANUCKO FACISTS ARE BEING

TRAINED TO HATE.

CLEARLY IT'S JUST A MATTER

OF TIME BEFORE THEY STRIKE.

>> I THINK THEY'RE MORE

AFRAID OF US THAN WE ARE OF

THEM TO BE HONEST.

>> SO ARE YOU SAYING WE

SHOULD INVADE CANADA BEFORE

CANADA INVADES US?

>> THAT'S ALL I NEED RIGHT

THERE, YES.

>> AS AMERICANS WE SIMPLY

HAVE NO OTHER CHOICE.

>> AMERICANS HAVE A CHOICE.

A PERSONAL CHOICE.

EVERY INDIVIDUAL HAS A

CHOICE TO USE FOSSIL FUELS

OR NOT.

>> DONE, ALL RIGHT, EASY.

WE'LL STOP USING YOUR OIL.

>> LET ME GIVE YOU AN

EXAMPLE OF WHAT THAT MIGHT

MEAN, THOUGH.

OBVIOUS TRANSPORTATION MEANS

WOULD HAVE TO CHANGE.

YOUR CELL PHONE, VIDEO GAMES,

MP3 PLAYERS, YOUR I PADS,

ALL THESE THINGS ARE MADE

FROM A PETROCHEMICAL OR

PETROLEUM-BASED PRODUCTS.

>> WHAT ABOUT INTERNET PORN.

>> THAT WOULD BE GONE.

>> I WAS BEGINNING TO SEE

POLITICS IN A WHOLE NEW

LIGHT.

MAYBE CANADA WASN'T SO BAD

AFTER ALL.

>> O CANADA ♪

♪ CANADA ♪

♪ CANADA ♪

♪ MEOW, MEOW

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