Debt to America

  • Aired:  05/18/11
  •  | Views: 69,214

An 89-year-old radio host warns of God's judgment day, and the U.S. government hits the debt ceiling. (5:07)

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

>> Jon: WELCOME BACK.

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, I'M

SPEAKING TO YOU THIS NIGHT, THE

NIGHT I'M SPEAKING TO YOU, THE

NIGHT OF MAY THE 18th IN THE

YEAR OF SOMEONE'S LORD 2011.

THIS COULD VERY POSSIBLY BE THE

SECOND TO LAST "THE DAILY SHOW"

EVER.

>> A CALIFORNIA RADIO STATION

PAID FOR HUNDREDS OF BILLBOARDS

TO WARN DRIVERS ON THEIR WAY TO

WORK THAT THEY HAVE LESS THAN A

MONTH BEFORE THE END OF WORLD AS

WE KNOW IT.

>> 89-YEAR-OLD RADIO HOST SAYS

THE WORLD IS GOING TO END NEXT

SATURDAY.

>> Jon: HE'S 89.

[LAUGHTER]

ACTUARILY SPEAKING HE IS

PROBABLY NOT THAT FAR OFF.

[LAUGHTER]

SERIOUSLY HOW MUCH LONGER CAN HE

LAST?

YOU TAKE THIS TYPE OF

FUNDAMENTALIST FEAR-MONGERING

SERIOUSLY.

EVERYONE KNOWS THE WORLD IS NOT

ENDING BECAUSE OF GOD'S WRATH

BUT A FORCE MORE POWERFUL.

THE DEMOCRAT LIMIT.

>> THE COUNTRY WILL REACH THE

LIMIT BY MAY 16 THANK IS THE

MAXIMUM AMOUNT THE U.S. CAN

BORROW.

CONGRESS HAS TO RAISE THE DEBT

CEILING.

>> FAILING TO RAISE THE DEBT

CEILING WOULD BE ARMAGEDDON

LIKE.

>> A FORMULA FOR RECESSION OR

WORSE.

>> CATASTROPHIC FAILURE.

>> ARMAGEDDON.

>> ARMAGEDDON, OKAY.

IT WOULD BE THE WORST OF ALL

FINANCIAL WORDS ECONOMICALLY.

>> Jon: THAT'S RIGHT.

THE ONLY THING WORSE THAN OUR

RECORD $14.3 TRILLION DEBT IS

THAT WE MIGHT NOT BE ABLE TO

MAKE IT BIGGER.

THANK GOODNESS WE HAVEN'T HIT IT

YET.

>> IT'S OFFICIAL THE U.S. HAS

HIT THE DEBT CEILING.

>> Jon: ABANDON SHIP!

ABANDON SHIP!

BASICKERS AT CHILDREN THEY HAD

WITH THEIR SECOND WIVES FIRST.

DANGER DANGER --

[LAUGHTER]

ASK YOUR PARENTS.

THIS IS BIG.

EVERY AMERICAN HAS TO UNDERSTAND

WHAT IS GOING ON WITH THIS.

HELP US NEWS NETWORKS YOU ARE

OUR ONLY HOPE.

>> EMERGENCY MEASURES UNDERWAY

THIS MORNING TO CREATE SOME

HEADROOM AFTER THE U.S.

GOVERNMENT HIT EUGTS DEBT

CEILING.

>> Jon: GIVE IT UP FOR DJ NEWS

AND THE DEBT CEILING BAND.

DOES EVERYTHING HAVE TO BE

PIMPED OUT AND JAZZED UP.

JUST EXPLAIN IT.

>> THE UNITED STATES GOVERNMENT

HIT THE END OF ITS CREDIT LINE

TODAY, THE LEGAL LIMIT FOR THE

AMOUNT OF MONEY IT CAN BORROW.

[LAUGHTER]

>> Jon: I'M SORRY I DIDN'T --

[LAUGHTER]

-- I DIDN'T CATCH THAT.

I WAS HAVING THIS DREAM.

I WAS DRIVING A CAR WITH NO

STEERING WHEEL INTO THE OCEAN.yM

THEN MY PHYSICAL THERAPIST GAVE

ME A POISE SON TURKEY SANDWICH.

WITH YOU THEN IT WAS A GIANT

PIZZA AND THERE WAS AN EXTRA

LEFT HAND WHERE MY MEANOUS

SHOULD BE.

[LAUGHTER]

FHAT ISñr THE OFFICIAL WAY THAT

YOU STAND WHEN YOUR PENIS WAVES

HELLO TO PEOPLE.

YOU'RE KILLING SUAREZ.

BETWEEN CNN AND PBS THERE AS

THAT-TO-BE MIDDLE GROUND

[SCREAMS] TURNS OUT CNN WAS THE

MIDDLE GROUND.

[LAUGHTER]

ACTUALLY WAS THE TOP OF KNEEL --

NEIL CAVUTO'S SHOW.

HE WASN'T PANICKING.

HE WAS MOCKING THE IDEA OF

PANICKING.

>> I'M NEIL CAVUTO STILL

BREATHING.

TODAY WE HIT THE DEBT CEILING

BUT AMERICA DIDN'T HIT THE WALL

OR THE FAN.

I WANT YOU TO LOOK AROUND.

LIFE AS WE KNOW IT IS GOING ON

IN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA.

>> UCONN FUSE BUSINESS REPORTING

WITH LETTER REPORTING.

FINANCIAL DISASTERS CAN'T BE

INSTANTLY VIEWED FOR THE WINDOW.

IF THE MELTDOWN COMES YOU ARE

NOT GOING TO SEE PEOPLE EATING

ON HUMAN FLESH AND WEARING KISS

ME I'M BANKRUPT SHIRTS.

THOSE ARE GOING TO BE BIG, BY

THE WAY.

[LAUGHTER]

I TAKE HIS POINT FEAR-MONGERING

ABOUT THE DEBT CEILING ISN'T

NECESSARY.

THAT SORT OF OVER-THE-TOP

HYPERBOLE SHOULD BE RESERVED FOR

GOVERNMENT SPENDING.

>> HURRICANE BARACK IS ALREADY

HERE.

A FULL FLEDGED CATEGORY PHIFER.

A SPENDING STORM SO BIG AND

GETTING SO MUCH BIGGER ALL I CAN

SAY IS SEEK SHELTER AND NOW.

>> Jon: IT'S A FINANCIAL

KATRINA.

BARACK OBAMA DOESN'T CARE ABOUT

WHITE PEOPLE'S MONEY.

[LAUGHTER]

BY THE WAY, IF WE DO HIT THE

DEBT CEILING AND WE DID HIT THE

DEBT CEILING ON MONDAY, WHY

DIDN'T WE DEFAULT OUR DEBT?

>> TREASURY SECRETARY TIM

GEITHNER SAID HE IS SUSPENDED

INVESTMENTS INTO FEDERAL

RETIREMENT FUNDS SO THE

GOVERNMENT CAN CONTINUE TO

BORROW MONEY TO PATE BILLS THAT

CONGRESS HAS ALREADY SIGNED.

>> Jon: I'M GOING TO RIP THAT

(bleep) SOUNDTRACK OUT OF THAT

NETWORK.

BASICALLY THE WAY WE'VE AVOIDED

THE DEBT PROBLEM IS WE'RE TAKING

THE MONEY OUT OF OLD PEOPLE'S

PENSIONS.

SO EVEN IF SATURDAY ARMAGEDDON

GUY IS WRONG, HE'S

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