Weatherman-Based System of Flood Height Measurements

  • Aired:  05/10/11
  •  | Views: 89,753

Reporters wade into the surging Mississippi to establish a new weatherman-based system of flood height measurements. (1:53)

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

>> Jon: WELCOME TO "THE DAILY

SHOW," MY NAME IS JON STEWART.

WE'VE GOT A NICE SHOW FOR YOU

TONIGHT.

THANKS FOR JOINING US.

TONIGHT ON THE PROGRAM WE HAVE A

YOUNG COMEDIC ACTOR, WILLIS

FERRELL.

(LAUGHTER)

YOUNG GENTLEMAN'S GOING TO BE

JOINING US, I HEAR GREAT THINGS.

REALLY EXCITED TO MEET HIM.

LET'S BEGIN TONIGHT IN THE

SOUTH.

OUR HEARTS GO OUT TO THOSE ALONG

THE MISSISSIPPI WHO ARE

SUFFERING NOT JUST FROM A

CATASTROPHIC FLOOD OF WATER BUT

ALSO FROM A MONSOON OF MEDIA ONE

UPMANSHIP.

(LAUGHTER)

THE DEBILITATING COVERAGE BEGAN

AS THE WATERS ROSE UP TO SWALLOW

ONE REPORTER'S FEET, CREEPING UP

TO THE KNEE, MOVING SLOWLY UP TO

THE THIGH, CONSUMING THE HIPS

AND FINALLY, THANK GOD, CRESTING

AT THE NIPPLE!

(LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE)

THE WATER CRESTED AT THE NIPPLE.

(LAUGHTER)

ALL THESE REPORTERS BRAVELY

WADED INTO THE SURGING

MISSISSIPPI TO GIVE US

ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA HOW HIGH THE

FLOODWATERS WERE OR THE EXTENT

OF DAMAGE.

YOU KNOW, GUYS, I'M GLAD YOU'RE

DOWN THING THERE BRINGING

ATTENTION TO THE STORY BUT YOU

COULD HAVE DONE THE EXACT SAME

STORIES ON DRY LAND WITHOUT EVER

GOING IN...

(LAUGHTER).

WAIT A MINUTE.

I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE UP TO.

YOU'RE TRYING TO ESTABLISH A NEW

MEASURE OF FLOOD HEIGHT

MEASUREMENTS.

(LAUGHTER)

A WEATHERMAN-BASED SYSTEM.

>> TO GIVE YOU A SENSE, WE HERE

IN THE MISSISSIPPI.

THIS IS A PLAYGROUND.

>> Jon: (AS OLD MAN)

I REMEMBER THE FLOOD OF AUGHT 11

LIKE IT WAS YESTERDAY.

THAT WATER WAS FOUR ROKER

BELLIES HIGH.

(LAUGHTER)

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