Back in Black - The Disappointing Future

  • Aired:  12/12/13
  •  | Views: 159,590

Lewis Black feels let down by a future that several doctors told him he would not live to see. (3:56)

>> Jon: WELCOME BACK.

WHEN A NEWS STORY FALLS THROUGHTHE CRACKS, LEWIS BLACK CATCHES

IT FOR A SEGMENT WE CALL "BACKIN BLACK."

♪ >> WHEN I WAS A KID, I WAS

CONSTANTLY BEING TOLD THE FUTUREWAS GOING TO BE AWESOME.

I'D BE JUMPING OVER HELICOPTERSWITH MY JET PACK.

I'D HAVE GLASSES THAT WOULD LETME SEE THROUGH GIRLS' DRESSES

AND WE WOULD ALL HAVE FLYINGCARS THAT FOLD UP INTO A

BRIEFCASE.

THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE MY CAR.

NOW IT'S JUST A THING THAT HOLDSMY CIGARETTES AND SEX TOYS AND

I'M ALL OUT OF CIGARETTES.

[LAUGHTER]IT'S 2013, YOU THINK WE WOULD BE

UP TO OUR NECKS IN AMAZINGTECHNOLOGY BUT INSTEAD THIS IS

APPARENTLY THE BEST WE CAN DO.

>> THE 3-D PRINTED ROBOT THATCOULD BE A COMPLETE GAME CHANGER

FOR THE WHOLE INDUSTRY.

OH, IT CAN TWERK, TOO.

>> OMG, IT CAN TWERK.

WELL, THEN I'LL TAKE SEVEN OFTHEM.

I MEAN YOLO, RIGHT, KIDS?

NOW, COME ON, TWERK THAT HOTROBOT ASS.

>> CAN HE MOVE FOR US REAL QUICKBEFORE WE RUN OUT OF TIME?

♪ [LAUGHTER]

>> LOOK, IF I WANT TO SEESOMETHING TRY TO DANCE AND FALL

FLAT ON ITS FACE, I DON'T NEED AROBOT, ALL I NEED IS A FIFTH OF

SCOTCH, SOME MUSICAND A MIRROR.

[ LAUGHTER ]BUT MAYBE THE BEST SIGN THAT

WE'RE DOING A CRAPPY JOB OFINNOVATING IS THE FACT THAT THIS

IS THE BIGGEST TECHNOLOGY STORYOF THE YEAR.

>> THESE ARE OCTOCOPTERS.

THEY ARE EFFECTIVELY DRONES BUTTHERE'S NO REASON THEY CAN'T BE

USED AS DELIVERY VEHICLES.

>> REALLY, BECAUSE I CAN THINKOF EIGHT RAZOR SHARP REASONS

THEY CAN'T BE USED AS DELIVERYVEHICLES.

OH, GOOD, MY NEW WAFFLE MAKER ISHERE.

OW!

MY HANDS.

[ LAUGHTER ]COME ON, TECHNOLOGY, THIS IS THE

FUTURE THAT SEVERAL DIFFERENTDOCTORS TOLD ME I WASN'T GOING

TO LIVE TO SEE.

GIVE ME SOMETHING WORTH WAITINGFOR.

>> SOME SAY IT'S A NEW BREED OFCRIME FIGHTING MACHINE.

>> OKAY, NOW WE'RE GETTINGSOMEWHERE.

>> THIS IS A CRIME -- IT'S MOREOF A CRIME PREVENTION ROBOT.

IT ELIMINATESTHAT NIGHT

WATCHMAN DUTY.

> YOU MEAN THE GUY IN EVERYMOVIE WHO FALL ASLEEP ON HIS

JOB?

YOU NEED A ROBOT FOR THAT?

I WANT ROBO COP AND ALL YOU AREGIVING ME IS PAUL BLART, MALL

I WANT ROBO COP AND ALL YOU AREGIVING ME IS PAUL BLART, MALL

ROOMBA.

>> TIRED OF WRITING THANK YOULETTERS, WHY NOT GET A ROBOT TO

DO IT FOR YOU.

>> PERFECT A ROBOT THAT DOESSOMETHING THAT PEOPLE STOPPED

DOING 30 YEARS AGO.

WILL IT ALSO ORGANIZEMY 8-TRACK COLLECTION?

CLEARLY THE FUTURE I WAS HOPINGFOR JUST HAS NOTHING FOR ME.

>> ACCORDING TO A PAIR OF NEWZEALAND RESEARCHERS SEX ROBOTS

ARE THE FUTURE OF PROSTITUTION.

[ APPLAUSE ]>> ON SECOND THOUGHT, I MIGHT

NEED THAT ROBOT TO WRITE ME ATHANK YOU NOTE AFTER ALL.

JON?

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