Comedy Repression Therapy

  • Aired:  07/13/11
  •  | Views: 301,489

Jerry Seinfeld uses repression therapy to cure Jon's urge to make gay jokes about Marcus Bachmann. (5:49)

BARBARIANS WHO NEED BE EDUCATED

YOU MM -- SUPPRESS IT.

DISCIPLINE.

EVEN THOUGH I THINK THIS MAN'S

VIEWS ARE TERRIBLE AND HE DANCES

AND SOUNDS NOT ONLY GAY BUT

CENTERSQUARE GAY, I'M -- YOU

KNOW WHAT, I REALIZE THIS IS

BIGGER THAN I AM.

I CAN'T FIGHT THIS ON MY OWN.

I NEED A HIGHER POWER SOMEONE

WHO HAS BEEN THROUGH THIS, WHO

UNDERSTANDS MY STRUGGLES.

I WISH THAT SOMEONE COULD --

>> IT'S GOING TO BE OKAY, JON.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

>> Jon: SORRY.

THANK YOU.

I THINK THEY HAVE UCONN FUSED

WITH A DIFFERENT JERRY BUT I'M

GLAD YOU ARE HERE.

IT'S MY COMEDY REPRESSION THEY

ARE PROFIT.

>> YOU ARE HAVING TROUBLE, JON.

YOU ARE HAVING THAT URGE TO

RIDICULE AGAIN, AREN'T YOU?

>> Jon: YES, PRESIDENTIAL

CANDIDATES HUSBAND TRYING TO

CURE GAY PEOPLE WHILE HIMSELF --

>> MMMMM HMM.

OKAY.

>> Jon: TAKE A LOOK.

>> WOW.

OKAY.

I'M COMING IN.

>> Jon: THANK YOU, I

APPRECIATE THAT.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

JON, YOU ARE GOING TO BE OKAY.

YOU NEED TO GET IT OUT HERE.

WHAT IS YOUR BODY WANTING YOU TO

SAY?

>> Jon: I DON'T KNOW SOMETHING

LIKE HE'S SO GAY HE CALLS TOP

GUN THAT VOLLEYBALL MOVIE.

OH, MY GOSH!

WOW.

>> NO, NO.

>> Jon: WOW!

>> NO.

>> Jon: I NEEDED THAT.

I NEEDED THAT.

>> YOU'RE WELCOME.

>> Jon: THANK YOU.

>> YOU'RE WELCOME.

>> Jon: THOUGH THAT WAS A

LITTLE HARDER THAN IN REHEARSAL

AND IT WAS MORE ON THE EYE THAN

I THOUGHT IT WAS GOING TO BE.

>> I DON'T BELIEVE IN HALF

MEASURES AND I DON'T KNOW HOW TO

FAKE SLAP ANYWAY.

>> Jon: THAT'S GOING TO LEAVE

A MARK.

JUST BECAUSE THIS GUY RUNS A

THERAPY PRACTICE THAT

PERPETRATES A TERRIBLE SO SHIITE

AL CRIME ON GAY PEOPLE IT

DOESN'T MEAN I SHOULD GIVE.

IN WE TALKED ABOUT IN THIS

GROUP, JON.

COMEDY IS A CHOICE.

YOU WEREN'T BORN THIS WAY.

>> Jon: I KNOW.

I KNOW THAT.

>> YOU UNDERSTAND?

>> Jon: I DO KNOW THAT.

>> YOU CAN RESIST IT.

YOU MUST RESIST IT.

>> Jon: IT'S SO HARD JERRY.

>> INSTEAD OF GOING FOR THE

CHEAP GAY JOKE TRY WATCHING THE

FOOTAGE.

MAKE ASTUTE OBSERVATIONS.

HE'S A BIG MAN.

HE IS DANCING.

WHAT KIND OF DANCE IS HE DOING?

>> Jon: IT'S CALLED THE THE

SHAG.

THAT'S A FUNNY NAME.

HE HAS A FUNNY NAME.

>> Jon: MARCUS BACHMANN Y IS

THAT FUNNY?

>> BACHMANN?

IS THAT A CLASSICAL MUSIC

SUPERHERO, BACHMANN?

YOU SEE, YOU SEE?

THIS IS SAY TARGET-RICH

ENVIRONMENT.

I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU GET EMMYS

FOR THIS CRAP.

[LAUGHTER]

>> Jon: HAVE YOU HEARD HIS

VOICE.

DID YOU HEAR ANYTHING ABOUT HIS

VOICE.

IT'S LIKE HITTING OFF A TEE.

LISTEN.

>> THERE'S THAT CURIOSITY BUT

AGAIN WE LIKE -- YOU KNOW, IT'S

AS IF WE HAVE TO UNDERSTAND

BARBARIANS NEED TO BE EDUCATED.

>> OKAY, SO IT'S A FUNNY TONE.

HE HAS A FUNNY TONE.

YOU GO DEEPER THAN THAT.

THE TONE IS CHEAP.

YOU SEE ME GETTING LAUGHS?

THIS IS THE WAY THAT I TALK.

>> Jon: YES, I SEE YOU GETTING

LAUGHS.

>> NO, THEY ARE NOT LAUGHING.

THIS IS MY NATURAL TONE.

>> Jon: JUST NOW YOUR TONE

IT'S A FUNNY TONE.

>> NO, NO, THIS IS NOT A TONE.

>> Jon: THAT'S A TONE.

>> NO TONE!

>> Jon: AREN'T YOU EVER

TEMPTED BY THIS STUFF?

>> OF COURSE.

I'D LOVE TO SAYƧ DR. MARCUS

BACHMANN BUYS BRAYING PAPER

TOWELS FOR THE PACKAGING.

I HAVE THAT IN ME.

>> Jon: I KNOW.

>> OR HE'S SO GAY RICHARD

SIMMONS TELLS HIM TONE IT DOWN.

>> Jon: OR THAT HE (bleep)S

PINKBERRY.

>> OH, NO!

NO!

THAT WAS FOR GOING BLUE.

DON'T WORK THE BLUE.

>> Jon: IT'S BETTER IF --

>> YOUR BY THE BIT.

[LAUGHTER]

>> Jon: I'LL DO BETTER.

I'LL TRY HARDER.

THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE.

>> GOOD MAN.

REMEMBER NO MATTER HOW MUCH A

COMEDY HOME RUN SOMEONE'S STEREO

TYPICAL BEHAVIOR MAY BE.

YOU HAVE TO SAY FOCUSING.

THIS SAY NIGHTLY NEWS PAR I DID

PROGRAM NOT A GAY DANCING

ADJUSTMENT SEMINAR.

>> Jon: I KNOW.

>> I'M NEEDED ELSEWHERE DON

NICKLES IS ABOUT TO GET A FOOD

DELIVERY BY A MAN WHO

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