The Millionaire Gaffemaker

  • Aired:  09/18/12
  •  | Views: 450,858

The Romney campaign's reboot is spoiled by footage of Mitt Romney talking to donors in a manner you would imagine cartoon rich people talk about cartoon poorer people. (6:39)

( THEME SONG PLAYING ) ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

>> Jon: WELCOME TO "THE DAILY SHOW." MY NAME IS JON STEWART.

GOT A GOOD ONE FOR YOU TONIGHT.

OUR GUEST TONIGHT, THE AUTHOR SALMAN RUSHDIE.

I CAN'T IMAGINE WHICH EVENTS CURRENTLY IN THE NEWS WILL BE DISCUSSED.

(LAUGHTER) HEY, REMEMBER THE REPUBLICAN CONVENTIONS THAT TOOK PLACE TWO WEEKS AGO.

BIG OPPORTUNITY FOR ONE MITT ROMNEY.

>> HE WILL HAVE HIS FIRST MAJOR NATIONAL PLATFORM TO INTRODUCE HIMSELF AND HIS IDEAS TO THE AMERICAN PEOPLE.

>> Jon: YES!

(LAUGHTER) AFTER ONLY A SOLID, LET'S SAY, SEVEN YEARS ON THE CAMPAIGN TRAIL.

(LAUGHTER) MITT ROMNEY FINALLY HAD A PRIME TIME TELEVISION SLOT TO INTRODUCE HIMSELF TO THE VOTERS.

AND ULTIMATELY ENDED UP GETTING UPSTAGED BY A PIECE OF WOOD.

ALL RIGHT.

(LAUGHTER) A PIECE OF WOOD WHO SPENT MOST OF HIS TIME TALKING TO A CHAIR.

BOOM!

(LAUGHTER) BOOM!

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) NO.

I STILL LOVE CLINT EASTWOOD.

I'M GOING ON RECORD.

STILL LOVE CLINT EASTWOOD.

ALL RIGHT, JUST THREE WEEKS AFTER BEING UPSTAGE BID A CHAIR AND COMPLETELY BOTCHING HIS RESPONSE TO THE HORRIBLE EVENTS

IN LIBYA, A NEW ANNOUNCEMENT FROM THE ROMNEY CAMPAIGN.

>> THE ROMNEY CAMP IS SAID TO BE ENGINEERING A REBOOT.

>> CALL IT A ROMNEY RESET.

>> WE BEGIN WITH MITT ROMNEY WHO'S JUST UNVEILED A NEW CAMPAIGN STRATEGY.

>> Jon: DID WE SAY WE WERE GONNA INTRODUCE HIM AT THE CONVENTION?

NO, NO.

THAT'S NOT-- (LAUGHTER).

YOU ALWAYS REINTRODUCE THE CANDIDATE THREE WEEKS AFTER THE CONVENTION.

(LAUGHTER) SORT OF LIKE SAYING TO A GIRL "COME ON, JUST GO ON A SEVENTH DATE WITH ME." (LAUGHTER) "I'LL GROW ON YOU."

(LAUGHTER) SO THE BIG ROLLOUT OF ROMNEY 9.0 STARTED YESTERDAY.

HOW'D THE REBOOT GO.

>> TOPPING THE AGENDA TODAY, MITT ROMNEY IN DAMAGE CONTROL MODE.

>> Jon: ON DAY ONE OF THE REBOOT?

(LAUGHTER) YES, THE ROMNEY CAMPAIGN'S REBOOT WAS SPOILED BY FOOTAGE FROM LAST MAY OF GOVERNOR ROMNEY

AT A $50,000 A PLATE FUND-RAISER TALKING TO RICH PEOPLE ABOUT POORER PEOPLE IN A MANNER YOU WOULD IMAGINE CARTOON RICH

PEOPLE TALK ABOUT CARTOON POORER PEOPLE.

(LAUGHTER)

>> THERE ARE 47% OF THE PEOPLE WHO WILL VOTE FOR THE PRESIDENT NO MATTER WHAT WHO ARE DEPENDENT

ON GOVERNMENT, WHO BELIEVE THAT THEY ARE VICTIMS.

WHO BELIEVE THAT THEY'RE ENTITLED TO HEALTH CARE, TO FOOD, TO HOUSING, TO YOU NAME IT.

>> Jon: RELEASE THE HOUND.

(LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE) WHO ARE THEY?

WHO ARE THESE 47%ERS?

THESE SELF-PERCEIVED VICTIMS WHO ONLY WANT TO STUCK FROM THE TEET OF THE BOOTSTRAP OF THE JOB CREATING-- TEET-HAVING

BOOT-TEET-- JUST TELL US WHO THEY ARE.

>> THESE ARE PEOPLE WHO PAY NO INCOME TAXES.

SO MY JOB IS NOT TO WORRY ABOUT THOSE PEOPLE.

I'LL NEVER GET THEIR SUPPORT.

THEY SHOULD TAKE PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY AND CARE FOR THEIR OWN LIVES.

>> Jon: DID YOU HEAR IT?

DID YOU WRITE THAT DOWN?

THE PEOPLE WHO DON'T PAY INCOME TAX.

THESE 47% OF THIS COUNTRY THAT WILL NEVER BE CONVINCED TO TAKE PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY FOR THEIR LIVES.

THEY ARE UNCONVINCABLE.

EVEN BY A MAN OF SUCH PERSUASIVE ABILITIES AS MITT ROMNEY.

(LAUGHTER) EVEN HE WHOSE CHARISMA HAS BEEN COMPARED NOT UNFAVORABLY WITH A 1993 CHRYSLER HE BARREN.

(LAUGHTER) EVEN HE-- WHO ARE THESE 47%ERS?

LET'S EXAMINE IT.

IT TURNS OUT OF THE 47% WHO PAY NO INCOME TAXES, NEARLY TWO-THIRDS OF THOSE DO PAY PAYROLL TAXES.

MEANING THEY WORK, THEY JUST AIN'T WORKING HARD ENOUGH.

YOU KNOW, LIKE A FAMILY OF FIVE MAKING $50,000 A YEAR.

A.K.A., THE AMOUNT OF MONEY IT TAKES TO SEE MITT ROMNEY (BLEEP) ON THEM IN PERSON.

(LAUGHTER) AND THE OTHER 40%, THE TRUE FREELOADERS.

SETTLE DOWN.

THE OTHER 40% OF THE 47%, THE TRUE FREELOADERS WHO PAY NO FEDERAL INCOME TAX OR PAYROLL TAX ARE ACTUALLY MADE UP OF

THOSE MAKING LESS THAN $20,000 A YEAR AND MANY OF THE NATION'S ELDERLY.

MR. ROMNEY KNOWS THEM AS "PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY SHIRKING UNCONVINCABLES." YOU MAY KNOW THEM AS "THE

GREATEST GENERATION" AND/OR "THAT THAT." (LAUGHTER) OF COURSE, THAT SAYS NOTHING ABOUT THE REAL PARASITES,

WELFARE QUEENS.

PUBLIC ASSISTANCE IS CLEARLY A PATH TO DEPENDENCY AND I WOULD LIKE TO SEE EVIDENCE OTHERWISE.

OH, YOU HAVE SOME EVIDENCE, MITT ROMNEY'S MOM?

SOMETHING ABOUT MITT ROMNEY'S DAD?

>> YOU KNOW WE'VE ONLY OWNED OUR HOME FOR THE LAST FOUR YEARS.

HE WAS A REFUGEE FROM MEXICO.

HE WAS ON RELIEF, WELFARE RELIEF FOR THE FIRST YEARS OF HIS LIFE.

BUT THIS GREAT COUNTRY GAVE HIM OPPORTUNITIES.

>> Jon: OH.

MY.

GOD.

(LAUGHTER) GEORGE ROMNEY WAS ON WELFARE.

SO ACCORDING TO MITT ROMNEY'S OWN LOGIC, MITT ROMNEY COULD NOT WIN THE VOTE OF HIS DAD.

(LAUGHTER) WHO WOULD BE ONE OF THE 47% OF UNCONVINCABLES.

AND THE HITS KEEP COMING.

ROMNEY CONTINUES IN THE VIDEO SUGGEST THE PALESTINIANS DON'T WANT PEACE AND ALL WE CAN DO IN THE MIDDLE EAST IS KICK THE CAN

DOWN THE ROAD AND HOPE FOR THE BEST AND THAT, WHILE HIS DAD WAS BORN IN MEXICO HE, UNFORTUNATELY, DOESN'T GET THE

FULL BENEFIT OF THAT.

>> I'D HAVE A BETTER SHOT OF WINNING THIS.

MY DAD WAS NOT BORN IN MEXICO.

HE WAS LIVING IN THERE FOR A NUMBER OF YEARS.

I SAY THAT JOKINGLY.

(AUDIENCE REACTS).

>> Jon: YOU CAN'T DO THAT.

YOU CAN'T MAKE THE JOKE AND THEN IMMEDIATELY DOUBLE DOWN ON THE SERIOUSNESS OF THE PREMISE.

"HEY, JIMMY'S MOM, WHAT A WHORE.

I'M KIDDING.

BUT SERIOUSLY, SHE EARNS HER LIVING HAVING SEX WITH PEOPLE." (APPLAUSE) THAT'S NOT A WAY-- BY THE END OF

THIS TAPE, THE ONLY PERSON WHO WHOSE SUPPORT MITT ROMNEY MIGHT BE ABLE TO COUNT ON HOLDING IS HIS OWN WIFE.

>> WE USE ANNE SPARINGLY RIGHT NOW SO PEOPLE DON'T GET TIRED OF HER OR START ATTACKING.

(AUDIENCE REACTS).

>> Jon: HEY, HEY.

NO, HEY, HEY, SHOW ME A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN AND I'LL SHOW YOU SOMEONE TIRED OF CAMPAIGNING WITH HER, AM I RIGHT, HUH?

I'M KIDDING, OF COURSE.

I'M KIDDING.

Loading...