Things May Be Bad, but At Least Our Streets Don't Burp Mystery Goo

  • Aired:  05/20/13
  •  | Views: 48,397

Famed scientists from the People's Republic of China find an elegant solution to counter a mysterious, bubbling substance in the streets. (3:15)

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ).

>> Jon: RECENTLY, WE'VE

BEEN READING THE THE "DAILY

SHOW" HAS BECOME SOMETHING OF A

POPULAR INTERNET SENSATION IN

CHINA, OF ALL PLACES.

APPARENTLY THE CITIZENS OF

AMERICA'S FOREMOST GLOBAL

COMPETITOR LIKE TO HAVE A LITTLE

LAUGH AT THE FOIBLES OF US

YANKEES.

YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

A-HA, THEIR ECONOMY IS IN

SHAMBLES.

THEY ARE DRAGONS ARE SO SMALL.

( LAUGHTER )

VERY FUNNY, CHINA.

BEFORE YOU GET TOO COMFORTABLE,

PERHAPS IT'S TIME WE CHECK IN ON

THE LATEST INSTALLMENT OF OUR

REGULAR SERIES, THINGS MAY BE

BAD BUT LEAST OUR STREETS DON'T

MURP MYSTERY GOO.

I SHOULD PROBABLY EXPLAIN.

>> THIS BIG FOAM, AND ACCORDING

TO MEADE MEADIA REPORTER,

FOULING SMELL APPEARED SATURDAY

EVENING.

APPARENTLY THE STREET CRACKED

OUT AND IT JUST STARTED TO

OOZE OUT.

>> Jon: THE MYSTERY OOZE OF

MANNED JING, PERHAPS THE MOST

DISGUSTING OF THE NANCY DREW

BOOKS.

I GUESS-- I GUESS THE FIRST

QUESTION I'VE GOT TO REQUEST SC

IN ANY SITUATION THAT INVOLVES

OOZE, HOW MUCH OOZE ARE WE

TALKING ABOUT?

>> IT SPREAD 150 FOOT RADIUS AND

NEARLY A FOOT HIGH.

>> Jon: SO NEARLY HIGH

ENOUGH TO TOUCH CHINA'S

POISONOUS AIR.

LEAVING WHAT THE CHINESE CALL

SWEET SPOT, OR AIR.

WHAT IS THE OOZE I WOULD GO WITH

A SLURRY OF ( BLEEP ) AND BIS

QUICK.

SO I ASSUME THE FAMED SCIENTIST

FROM THE PEOPLE'S REPUBLIC OF PEOPLE'S R

CHINA CAME UP WAY SOLUTION.

>> THE AREA WAS CORDONED OFF AND

THE OOZE WAS WASHED INTO THE

SEWER.

NO ONE KNOW WHAT THE OOZE IS OR

WHERE IT CAME FROM OR WHERE IT

SEEMS BACK INTO.

( LAUGHTER )

>> Jon: 6,000 YEARS OF

CULTURE AND SCIENCE, AND YOU

COME UP WITH HOSE.

SO THE MYSTERIOUS FOUL-SMELLING

PROBABLY POISONOUS OOZE PROBABLY

WENT BACK INTO THE GROUND WHERE

YOU KEEP YOUR WATER.

DON'T GET SO HIGHAND MIGHTY,

CHINA.

WE'VE GOT ON PROBLEMS BUT AT

LEAST WE DON'T HAVE WEIRD

SUBSTANCES APPEARING IN OUR CITY

STREET.

>> THIS IS PILING UP IN THE

STREET.

BIG CHURNINGS WERE FOUNDER ON

THE SIDEWALK.

>> THAT BY-PRODUCT IS NOW TO THE

SURPRISE AND DISMAY OF MANY TO

BE TRUCKED TO TWO SITES.

>> Jon: WE'LL BE RIGHT

BACK.

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