Clustershag to 10 Downing

  • Aired:  04/29/10
  •  | Views: 175,373

Gordon Brown forgets to turn off his mic after a conversation with the sweetest old lady in England. (10:23)

Captioning sponsored by

COMEDY CENTRAL

>> Jon: BOOM!

WELCOME TO THE SHOW, EVERYBODY.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

WELCOME TO THE SHOW, EVERYBODY.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

THANK YOU FOR JOINING ME.

HERE YOU GO, BRO.

5-0 BABY.

I'M JON STEWART.

TONIGHT LEGENDARY ACTOR SIR MICHAEL CAINE WILL SIT DOWN FOR AN INTERVIEW WITH A, DAME JON STEWART.

JON, JON.

MAJOR ELECTION IS A WEEK AWAY IN SIR MICHAEL'S COUNTRY OF GREAT BRITAIN.

WE'LL GET TO THE COMPLETE AND TOTAL COVERAGE.

♪♪ WELL, THE DOOR ACTUALLY OPENED.

SO GLAD WE WENT IN THROUGH THE FRONT.

[ LAUGHTER ]

LAST WEEK WE CONFIDENT THE CANDIDATES FIRST EVER AMERICAN STYLE DEBATE BETWEEN LABOR PRIME

MINISTER GORDAN BROWN AND CANDIDATES.

IN THE SECOND DEBATE THE CANDIDATES CAME OUT SWINGING.

>> WITH YOU NOW WITHDRAW?

WILL YOU WITHDRAW THE LEAFLETS THAT ARE GOING OUT ROUND THE COUNTRY?

>> Jon: OH, (bleep).

[ LAUGHTER ]

I HOPE I AVOIDED THE BLEEP ON THAT.

I CAN'T BELIEVE CAMERON WENT TO THE LEAFLETS.

I BET THEY ACCUSED CAMERON OF SOMETHING TERRIBLE LIKE SELLING OUT BRITISH INTEREST TO THE EU

OR PALLING AROUND WITH IRA TERRORISTS LIKE BILL O'AYERS.

THIS IS GOING TO BE GREAT.

>> WILL YOU WITHDRAW THE LEAFLETS GOING OUT SAYING THE CONSERVATIVES WOULD TAKE AWAY

THINGS LIKE THE FREE BUS PASS?

[LAUGHTER]

>> Jon: THERE'S A DEBATE OVER WHO CONTROLS ENGLAND COMES DOWN

TO THE EXPLOSIVE FREE BUS PASS ISSUE.

[ LAUGHTER ]

YOU KNOW, YOU ALL USED TO RULE THE SUBCONTINENT.

YOU DO KNOW THAT, RIGHT?

THE HEIRS OF CHURCHILL ARE FIGHTING OVER THE 70P FARE FROM FROM -- NEVER IN THE HISTORY OF

TRAVEL HAVE SO MANY PAID SO LITTLE TO TRAVEL SO FAR.

AS MY CHURCHILL SOUNDS LIKE KENNEDY.

[ LAUGHTER ]

BUT -- I DON'T KNOW WHY.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

OF THE -- MR. GORBACHEV TEAR DOWN THAT BUS PASS.

[LAUGHTER]

I DID NOT HAVE SEX WITH THAT BUS PASS.

[LAUGHTER]

BUS LEWINSKY.

[ LAUGHTER ]

I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M DOING.

THE STORY OF FIRST DEBATE WAS THE RISE OF LIB-DEM NICK KLEG AND THE CORRESPONDING FALL OF

LABOR'S GORDON BROWN.

THE BIG QUESTION IN DEBATE NUMBER TWO WOULD THE PRIME MINISTER RECOVER?

>> DAVID YOU ARE A RISK TO THE ECONOMY.

NICK YOU ARE A RISK BECAUSE OF WHAT YOU ARE SAYING ON IRAN AND NUCLEAR SECURITY.

NICK WOULD YOU LEAVE US WEAK.

DAVID YOU WOULD LEAVE US ISOLATED IN EUROPE.

>> Jon: DAVID YOU ARE BANGERS HAVE NO MASH AND YOUR DICKS BOTH SPOTTED.

ALL RIGHT.

LET'S MOVE ON.

[ LAUGHTER ]

YES, GORDON BROWN HAS REBROWNED AFTER THE SECOND DEBATE.

HE LOOKED TO KEEP THAT MOMENTUM GOING WITH A LITTLE WALKING TOUR AROUND LABOR'S STRONGHOLD.

HELLO, NICE TO SIGH.

LOVELY.

HELLO, HERE IS THE LOVELY LADY LET'S HAVE A CHAT, SHALL WE?

>> I'M THINKING ABOUT MY GRANDCHILDREN.

>> WHAT WILL SWRE TO PAY TO GET INTO THE UNIVERSITY?

YONCH WHAT AN UNASSUMING AND LOVELY FRUMPY OLD ENGLISH WOMAN WORRIED ABOUT THE EDUCATION OF

OUR GRANDCHILDREN.

IT'S SO WONDERFUL.

NOW, GO ON.

FAVOR US WITH YOUR IMPROBABLE YET ASTONISHINGLY LOVELY SINGING VOICE.

♪ I DREAMED A DREAM IN TIME GONE BY ♪ ♪ WHEN HOPE WAS HIGH AND LIFE

WORTH LIVING ♪

>> Jon: I'M BLOODY NAKED.

YOU'VE BLOWN ME AWAY.

BRITTENAN -- BRITAIN DOES HAVE TALENT.

DURING THEIR BRIEF CONVERSATION THEY TOUCHED ON NATIONAL DEBT,

BRITISH HEALTH SERVICES,

PENSION, AND SOME OF THE CONCERNS OVER THE IMMIGRANTS INFLUX DUE TO BORDER POLICY.

PRIME MINISTER HERE, YOUR MICROPHONE IS STILL ON.

I PROBABLY SHOULD TELL YOU.

>> SHOULD NEVER HAVE PUT BE THAT WOMAN.

SHE'S A BIGOTED WOMAN THAT AOUSZED TO BE -- USED TO BE LABOR -- BRB AUDIENCE RERACKETS]

>> Jon: THAT'S GOING TO LEAVE A MARK.

[ LAUGHTER ]

>> VERY DAMAGING.

P.R. DISASTER.

>> VERBAL FAUX PAS.

>> THE INCIDENT NAMED TERMED BIGOT-GATE.

>> Jon: WAIT, WHAT?

YOU CAN'T ADD GATE TO THE END OF A SCANDAL?

THAT'S OUR ABUSE OF POWER.

YOU CAN'T THROW GATE AROUND.

YOU DON'T OWN THAT.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

WE DON'T HAVE TEA PARTIES -- OH!

PLAINTIFF LAUGH -- OH!

[LAUGHTER]

THIS IS BAD FOR BROWN BUT IT'S NOT FATAL.

I'M SURE THERE'S A GREAT SHOT AT THIS WOMAN SHE'S A FORMER LABOR

SUPPORTER EXPLAINING THE COMMENTS WERE NOT MEANT WITH DISRESPECT.

>> BROWN WAS WALKING AROUND, HE HAS THE MICROPHONE ON.

>> WHEN HE GOT INTO THE CAR.

>> YOU MIGHT NOT LIKE.

THIS HE SAID WHAT A DISASTER WHO GOT ME TO TALK TO THAT WOMAN.

SHE'S A BIGOT.

OR WORDS TO THAT EFFECT.

WE WANT TO KNOW YOUR RESPONSE?

>> YOU'RE JOKING.

>> Jon: CONGRATULATIONS,

TKPW-RDON BROWN.

YOU'VE BROKEN THE HEART OF SWEETEST OLD LADY IN ENGLAND.

HERE IS HOW CUTE SHE IS.

I WANT A HUMMEL OF HER FOR MY CURIO CABINET.

PERHAPS I HAD CLEARLY BRILLIANT HANDLERS COULD HAVE HIM GO ON A RADIO APOLOGY TOUR AND FILM IT

SO EVERYONE COULD SEE HOW HIS CONFIDENCE WAS NOT BETRAYED BY BODY LANGUAGE.

>> LET'S PLAY THE TAPE.

LET'S SEE IF WE CAN HEAR IT.

>> YOU SHOULD HAVE NEVER PUT ME WITH THAT WOMAN.

WHOSE IDEA WAS THAT.

>> Jon: SOMEBODY HAS JUST HANDED --

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

-- SOMEBODY HAS JUST HANDED ME THE TAPE.

IT'S LIKE A CRASH TEST DUMMY.

LET'S WATCH IT AGAIN IN DAILY SHOW SOLO-VISION.

YOU CAN SEE THE -- SOUL-O-VISION.

YOU CAN SEE THE MOMENT WHEN HIS POLITICAL CAREER LEAVES HIS BODY.

INCREDIBLE.

FOR ANALYSIS OF THIS SHOCK TURN OF EVENTS WE TURN TO SENIOR BRITISH CORRESPONDENT JOHN OLIVER.

THANKS FOR JOINING US.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

WHAT DOES AN INCIDENT LIKE THIS JUST HAPPENED IN THE PAST FEW DAYS, WHAT ZIT DO TO THE PRIME

MINISTER GORDON BROWN?

>> WE HAVE A PHRASE UNTIL ENGLAND, A POPLARRIZED BY COM WELL DCROMWELL THAT GOES LIKE

THIS HE IS (bleep) (bleep).

>> Jon: IS THAT WHERE WE GOT THE EXPRESSION?

>> YES.

>> Jon: IT'S SO UNFORTUNATE.

IT'S KRAEZY.

>> IT'S DEEPLY UNLUCKY, JON.

>> Jon: YOU MEAN YOU FORGOT TO TURN OFF HIS MICROPHONE.

>> HE WAS UNLUCKY LABELING A WOMAN AS A BIGOT SO CLEARLY NOT ONE.

DID YOU SEE HER FACE?

I DON'T GENERALLY FIND EMOTIONAL PAIN TANGIBLE.

>> Jon: WHEN YOU SAW HER FIND OUT HE CALLED HER A BIGOT YOU WATCHED HER BRUCE YOUR EYES.

>> YOU NEED A BAND AID IN OUR SOULS.

IT'S NOT LIKE WE IN ENGLAND DON'T HAVE OLD LADY BIG I DON'TS, -- BIGOTS, JON.

WE'VE GOT THEM.

I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT THE RUN OF THE MILL PARTY THE PAKISTANIS ARE PUTTING THROUGH THE LETTER

BOX WE'RE PREJUDICED AGAINST OTHER EUROPEANS, WHITE PEOPLE,

JON.

WHITE PEOPLE.

THERE'S A NASTY OLD CRONE WHO THINKS HOLLANDAISE SAUCE IS TOO ETHNIC.

THEY WON'T LET HER DAUGHTER DATE NORMANS, JON.

YOU KNOW WHY?

>> Jon: I DON'T.

>> SHE HAS NOT FORGIVEN WILLIAM THE CONQUEROR YET.

I HAVEN'T BEGUN TO TOUCH THE CLASS SYSTEM I RAIN INTO MICHAEL CAINE BACKSTAGE.

HE HEAD BUT THED ME IN THE NOSE AND THREW HIS LAUNDRY AT ME.

>> Jon: WHY WOULD HE DO THAT?

>> HE HAS BEEN KNIGHTED, JON.

HE CAN DO WHAT HE WANTS.

IF WE COULD WRAP THIS UP QUICKLY I HAVE TO GO WASH THAT COMPANY BASTARDS NICKERS.

>> Jon: LET ME SAY THIS.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO THAT?

>> I DO THAT TO DO THAT, JON.

HE'S A KNIGHT WHICH MAKES ME TECHNICALLY HIS SQUIRE.

IF YOU EXCUSE ME I HAVE TO GO START SCRUBBING.

>> Jon: I'M SORRY.

IT'S A SHAME WOULD YOU HAVE TO DO THAT NO, NO, NO.

IT'S FINE.

HE WILL BE ABLE.

-- HE WILL BE ALL RIGHT.

FURTHER IN THE ELECTIONS IT'S THE KIND AFTER THIS (bleep).

>> THAT WAS A DISASTER.

I CANNOT WORK ANOTHER DAY WITH THAT SHAVED MONKEY AND THE SMELL.

IT'S LIKE HE BATES EVERY DAY IN STEAL PICKLE JUICE.

>> Jon: JOHN OLIVER, YOUR MICROPHONE IS STILL ON, JOHN.

>> WHAT.

>> Jon: IT'S STILL ON.

>> JOHN OLIVER IS NOT HERE RIGHT NOW BUT PLEASE LEAVE A MESSAGE AFTER THE SONG.

♪ I DREAMED A DREAM IN TIME GONE BY ♪

>> J

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