RNC 2012 - The Road to Jeb Bush 2016 - The Best F#@king News Team Ever Audits America

  • Aired:  08/31/12
  •  | Views: 424,693

To run America more like a business, the Best F#@king News Team Ever must downsize underperforming states like Mississippi, Wyoming, and Minnesota. (4:25)

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

>> Jon: WELCOME BACK TO THE SHOW.

NOW GOVERNOR ROMNEY,

GOVERNOR ROMNEY IS PROBABLY COUNTED HIS RECORD IN THE PRIVATE SECTOR BUT WOULD A

BUSINESSMAN PRESIDENT BE GOOD FOR AMERICA.

WE HIT THE CONVENTION FLOOR TO FIND OUT.

>> WE'VE HEARD A LOT THIS WEEK ABOUT MITT ROMNEY'S NUMBER ONE QUALIFICATION FOR PRESIDENT.

>> MITT ROMNEY TURNED BUSINESSES AROUND IN THE PRIVATE SECTOR.

HE'S MADE A SUCCESS OF FAILING COMPANIES.

AMERICA NEEDS A TURN AROUND AND THE MAN FOR THE JOB IS GOVERNOR MITT ROMNEY.

>> AND WHY IS THAT?

>> I THINK GOVERNMENT NEEDS TO RUN MORE LIKE A BUSINESS.

>> THESE AREN'T EASY CONVERSATIONS TO HAVE BUT IF IT'S NOT WORKING YOU HAVE TO

END IT, IT'S GOT TO GO.

>> IF A-- IS FAILING, THEY DON'T REWARD IT, THEY SHUT

[BLEEP] DOWN.

>> EXACTLY.

>> ALWAYS LETTING THE MARKET DECIDE IS THE BEST THING TO DO.

>> WHAT IS THE WHERE ARE YOU FROM.

>> MISSISSIPPI, WHOA, WHOA,

DEAD LAST IN PER-CAPITA INCOME.

YOU WERE COSTING THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT $20 BILLION.

THAT IS, YOU KNOW WHAT, I THINK WE'RE GOING TO HAVE TO LET THE MARKET DECIDE.

>> AND IF THAT'S THE CASE,

WE NEED TO TAKE A HARD LOOK AT WHICH DIVISIONS OF AMERICA ARE SUCCEEDING AND

WHICH ARE FAILING, BECAUSE WHAT WAS THAT DELAWARE.

>> IF IT'S NOT WORKING, YOU HAVE TO END IT, IT'S GOT TO GO.

>> EXACTLY.

SO LET'S DO THIS.

>> LET'S TALK ABOUT THE BOTTOM LINE, SOUTH CAROLINA IS TAKING WAY MORE IN

GOVERNMENT FUNDING THAN THEY ARE PAYING BACK IN TAX.

>> THAT'S NOT GOOD IS IT.

>> YOU'RE IN THE RED.

>> YEAH.

>> SO WHAT DO WE DO.

>> CUT GOVERNMENT EXPENSES,

WHY DON'T WE TRY THAT.

>> SO ARE YOU BLAMING THE BOSS.

>> HUH?

>> ONE OF AUDITINGED, 49 ANXIOUS STATES TO GO.

>> NERVOUS.

>> A LITTLE BIT.

>> BECAUSE I SEE YOU SWEATING.

>> YEAH.

>> YOU ANTICIPATING BAD NEWS IN THIS CONVERSATION.

>> NO, NOT REALLY.

>> WELL, YOU'RE ABOUT TO GET SOME.

WISCONSIN IS FAILING.

YOU ARE TAKING IN MORE THAN YOU'RE GIVING BACK.

>> THAT'S WHAT THEY SAY.

>> NO, THAT'S WHAT MI TELLING YOU.

>> I'M LOOKING AT YOUR NUMBERS, THEY ARE MIDDLING,

I KNOW YOU ARE WYOMING, NO ONE REALLY EXPECTS ANYTHING OF YOU.

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

YEAH.

>> WOULD YOU LIKE A GATORADE,

A TOWEL OR SOMETHING T SEEMS LIKE YOUR WHOLE FACE IS CRYING.

THESE KIND OF THINGS ARE NEVER EASY, OKAY, CAN BE PAINFUL.

>> WE DECIDED TO LET GEORGIA GO.

>> SUDDENLY WHEN ACTUALLY FACED WITH THE NUMBERS,

RUNNING AMERICA LIKE A BUSINESS DIDN'T SEEM LIKE A GOOD IDEA AFTER ALL.

AND IT WAS EVERY STATE FOR THEMSELVES.

>> YOU'RE REALLY IN THE RED AND WE CAN'T SUPPORT YOU.

>> NO, NO, IOWA IS-- HAS A BUDGET THAT SHOWS IN THE BLACK.

>> SIR.

>> WHY DON'T YOU TALK TO CALIFORNIA.

>> IOWA IS TALKING SO MUCH CRAP ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW.

>> MY STATE?

>>.

>> YES.

>> WHO ARE WE GETTING RID OF.

>> I WOULD GO WITH MAINE.

>> ALL RIGHT, HOW DO YOU THINK IT WENT.

>> I DON'T THINK IT WENT TOO WELL.

>> NO, IT BLOOEP WLOOEP DIDN'T GO TOO WELL.

>> OH, IT IS TERRIBLE.

>> YOU ARE TAKING IN MORE THAN YOU ARE GIVING BACK.

>> I DONE SEE ANYTHING WRONG WITH THAT TO HELP US GET MOVING FORWARD.

>> EXPLAIN TO ME IF WE ARE RUNNING A BUSINESS HERE WHY WE ARE KEEPING YOU AROUND.

>> CAN I TALK ABOUT THESE HATS RIGHT NOW.

>> AMERICA IS CLEARLY STRUGGLING.

IT WAS TIME TO CEO UP.

>> ALL RIGHT.

YOU THREE ARE HERE BECAUSE YOU ARE THE WORST THREE

[BLEEP] STATES IN THE UNION.

SO WE'RE GOING HAVE A CONTEST, OKAY.

FIRST PRIZE, YOU GET TO KEEP YOUR JOB.

SECOND PRIZE, ANYONE WANT TO SEE SECOND PRIZE, SECOND PRIZE,-- CD, THIRD PRIZE IS

YOU ARE [BLEEP] FIRED.

YOU, MINNESOTA Y THE HELL SHOULD I KEEP YOU.

>> WE HAVE A LEND OF 10,000 LAKES.

>> GO WATER SKI.

>> WHAT DO YOU GOT.

>> WIDE OPEN SPACES.

>> WHO GIVES A [BLEEP] G FLY A KITE.

MISSISSIPPI YOU THINK THIS IS FUNNY.

>> YES.

>> YOU SEE THIS WATCH, THIS WATCH IS WORTH MORE THAN YOUR ENTIRE [BLEEP] STATE.

>> WE KNOW WHAT HARD WORK IS AND WE'RE GOOD AT IT.

AND WE GROW COTTON AND WE'RE THE MOST HOSPITABLE PEOPLE THAT YOU'LL EVER WANT TO MEET.

>> I GOT TO BE HONEST, SHE IS OUTSELLING YOU TWO

[BLEEP].

TAKE THE CD, YOU ARE FIRED.

>> PREPARE YOURSELF, AMERICA,

BECAUSE ROMNEY ALWAYS BE CLOSING.

>> Jon: WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

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